The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills begins in doggie heaven, aka Lisa’s dog rescue center. We get a glimpse of Ken and Lisa snuggling with some cute pups, and learn that Ken is requesting a replacement Giggy. Lisa decides to bring the lawsuit chatter out in the open, explaining that she and Ken withdrew from a merger with another shelter. The owner didn’t appreciate the move, and after Ken coughed up $40k, the couple is now being sued for backing out of the deal. Ken’s integrity is being checked, and the gossipy ordeal is difficult.
We next check in with Teddi, who is getting a treatment on her botoxed face. Teddi decides that the best way to connect with the ladies is via mutual self-obsession, so she decides to organize a group spa day. Teddi hopes to create a cushy vibe, so that all of the ladies can relax and chitchat.
We next sit in on a meeting with Kyle and her production team, who are working on an American Woman episode. Kyle reminds us that she’s very hands-on with her show, and shares that the project brings her back to the good ol’ days with her sister, Kim, and their chain smoking mother. We see a clip of the show, where her mother is portrayed as a sensitive caretaker, not a scary stage shrew. Kyle shares anecdotes about her dear old mom, and hopes that the watered down narrative won’t drive a permanent wedge between her and her sisters.
Dorit and Erika take the stage next, the frenemies out on a shopping jaunt, in search of a birthday gift for PK. Erika shades her grandhusband for being an old injured baby, as the ladies arrive at a Pagani dealership. Dorit tries to convince us that she can actually purchase one for her hubby, but we all know a flashy Bravo commercial when we see one. The gals toot around town in a $3 million dollar model, and are romanced by the fancy ride.
Meanwhile, Rinna is clonking around in the kitchen, before she and Harry Hamlin launch into a rehearsed exchange. Harry scored a gig, and Rinna is thrilled. The couple discusses their concerns about model #1, Delilah, going wild in NYC. Delilah is ready to fake devoted student, but there’s still lots to worry about. They hope that their girls won’t learn things the hard way, but Rinna laughs off the notion, assuring Harry that she’s shielding their girls with her mind. The convo is forced, and Rinna takes it on home by laughing at herself like a hyena.
We jump back to the shelter, where Kyle and Portia are arriving for a doggie grooming. Lisa is excited to put Kyle through a watery adventure, and the duo giggles through washing Kyle’s giant pooch, Storm. Lisa almost blow dries Kyle out of the room, and the scene is cute. Lisa compares the nervous dog to his owner, and Storm is clearly taken aback. The pair discusses late-gate, and how Dorit ruffled the newbie’s nonmaterialistic feathers by making her drink wine in mind-numbing silence. Kyle debuts her Dorit impression before we jump to Teddi, who is planning to jump on Dorit before the glam party. Dorit agrees to arrive early, while rolling her eyes at the camera.
Over at Teddi’s, the party prep is in full swing, and the hostess’ OCD is kicking in. Teddi has an event planner taking care of the details, which include a flowery craft station. Dorit arrives for the pre-party showdown, and Teddi gives her a mental gold star for punctuality. Dorit informs Teddi that her face is off limits and all glassware better be perfection. Teddi begins to scold her for showing up late for their wine date, because she’s all about accountability, and counts seconds like an obsessed pro.
Dorit chalks up the drama to miscommunication, but Teddi is peeved that she spilled the tardy tea to Kyle. Dorit reminds her that throwing shade is the name of the Bravo game, while wondering how she became the bad bitch in this scenario. Dorit tells her to calm the heck down, but Teddi didn’t like being drawn into such trite gossip. Teddi busts her for blathering like a mouthy drunk at Camille, but they ultimately decide to play frozen and let it go. Don’t count on it.
Rinna arrives, and is excited for the spa day, because the hustle has made the old bag tired and saggy. Dorit rambles on, obnoxiously correcting Teddi’s choice of glassware. Once that’s settled, Dorit shares excitement about organizing PK’s birthday party, which will be held on a cruise ship. This will be a first for PK, and Dorit is even flying his family in from London for the black tie affair. Teddi is immediately uncomfortable — because she only conforms to time, not a certain “look.” Lisa makes her entrance, and busts Rinna for flapping her lips about Ken and the lawsuit. Rinna points out that the tabs have long grabbed the story, and snarks that she’s running with this hot dish every chance she gets.
Kyle arrives in an odd mustard/zebra ensemble, while Erika complains about crybaby Tom. Dorit and Teddi rehash late-gate for Kyle, and even Kyle’s silk zebras look stressed. Teddi knows the party is a clunker, and the whiny chatter begins to remind Erika of her cranky grandhusband. Camille appears, and Lisa advises Dorit to apologize for her rude dinner party outburst. The ladies toss good-natured snark back and forth, and Lisa advises Rinna to sign up for a hoo-ha tuck. Dorit works up the nerve to confront Camille, and finally takes the plunge. Camille informs her that her plastered comments were gross, and Dorit apologizes. Camille accepts, but adds that strapping on trust won’t come easy.
Next week, PK celebrates his birthday, and Dorit calls Teddi a double psycho.