The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills begins with Dorit, who kicks off the episode in business mode. She’s ready to jump back into the bikini biz, after taking a break to birth her two babies. We sit in on a strategy session with her team, and the group chatters about design and deadlines. Dorit shares that she hopes to launch her renamed swimwear line in a hurry.
We check in with Teddi, who’s still stuck in snoozy mommy mode, but is stepping out of the household haze to meet Dorit for a glass of wine. Teddi’s timing is spot-on and always considerate, but Dorit is heartlessly late. Teddi waits..and waits..and waits, while jabbing at Dorit in confessional spots. Bravo dramatically updates us about every three minutes, as Teddi’s teeth begin to clench. Dorit is almost an hour late, so Teddi prepares to bolt. Dorit phones in, and assures her new friend that she’s alive and laser focused on business — just not the Bravo kind. Teddi is annoyed, Dorit is apologetic, and the scene is boring.
We next check in with Kyle, who is busy wrangling her dogs. Portia hawks her mommy’s new show via a baseball cap, as Kyle checks in with Rinna, who is vacationing with her family in Canada. Rinna grabs the chance to brag about the Live with Regis one that got away, before we hop over to the Vanderpump dog rescue center. Lisa explains that she broke ties with another organization after a sketchy vibe was detected — surely pointing to future drama.
A Ken lookalike pup busts onto the scene, before we switch gears and catch back up with Kyle, who is meeting up with Erika. The pair chitchats about Tokyo and Kyle’s crazy past, which she is determined to share with the world. Erika reveals that her grandhusband had been in an accident, and had broken his ankle. We later see her discussing the incident with her stylist bestie, who does his best to lend a sympathetic ear. Tom will require surgery for his injury, but Erika makes it more about her, declaring that she’s just realizing that she’ll likely outlive an 80 year old. She adds that she’s watching Tom’s involuntary twitches like a hawk, and really hopes that he keeps breathing.
Kyle is making up for her luxury week off — and is next meeting up with Teddi for a workout. Kyle is happy that she doesn’t collapse, and afterward, the duo recharges by discussing Dorit’s scandalous tardiness. Teddi is bugged that Kyle was dragged into the discussion, and the tick-tock nonsense officially gains steam.
Just when you thought things couldn’t get slower, Bravo delivers by sending us over to Rinna, who is busy wiping down a NYC hotel room. She checks in with Harry Hamlin, who’s entrenched in playing bad guy to their ornery daughters. Rinna rambles on about the harrowing challenges of demanding chores from entitled teens, and her daughter throws into the heated debate with some long-distance eye rolls.
We thankfully shift gears, and sit down with Kyle and Dorit. Dorit snarkily breathes life into the episode by throwing shade at Rinna’s signature do. She denies being an hour late for her date with Teddi, and shades her for leaving the restaurant before she arrived. Kyle reveals that she has sold two more pilot ideas, and implies that her sisters are freezing her out for airing their family’s slightly scrubbed dirty laundry. Kyle tags Mauricio’s real estate breakaway from her family as a piece of the messy puzzle. The gals dab away a few tear droplets — Dorit empathetic to Kyle’s misunderstood plight. Kathy and Kim are giving Kyle the cold shoulder, and Kyle is sad that spilled tea doesn’t always mix with warm and fuzzy family love.
Back east, Rinna has scored a guest co-hosting gig on LIVE, and Bravo cameras are along for the ride. Rinna’s stylist is hard at work, as Rinna crows about coming in a close second to Kelly Ripa. She claims to be a happy loser, and is ultimately glad that she didn’t have to relocate her family to NYC.
Back in the 90210, Lisa and Dorit are sitting down for lunch, and Teddi, Kyle, and Camille are doing the same. Dorit reveals that she’s closing up her uterus, before spilling Kyle’s family sorrow to Lisa. Lisa bristles at the idea of Kyle opening up to Dorit, because Dorit is a just a sophomore stranger.
Meanwhile, Teddi is clinging to Dorit’s drinks diss like a storyline-starved leech, which gives Camille a reason to throw fuel onto the Dorit hate sesh. The hour/20 minute debate rages at both tables, making clear exactly why Bravo ticked down the seconds like a space shuttle was about to launch. Dorit laughs off her C-U-Next-Tuesday blurt at Camille as a stupid joke, but Camille did not appreciate being embarrassed in front of her new beau.
Camille labels Dorit a liar, a drunk, a self-obsessed loser, or perhaps just a tanked attention whore, in desperate need of a muzzle. Kyle tries to defend Dorit, as Lisa reminds her friend that Camille’s new man was on his virgin outing with their group. Dorit admits that she’s a mouthy drunk, and feels badly that she corrupted the new guy on the block. Camille declares that she didn’t appreciate being branded a strap-on queen, and Rinna enters, right on cue. Rinna launches into gossip about an alleged assault incident between Ken and a woman linked to the earlier identified “sketchy” rescue org — kicking off the real drama, as the episode closes.
Storylines slowly take shape next week — and no surprise — Rinna is smack in the middle of the messy mix.