RECAP: #SisterWives The Brown’s Freak Out Over Meeting Tony’s Mexican Family That Don’t Speak English!

They’re baaaaaack! Kody Brown, and wives, Meri, Janelle, Christine and Robyn, have managed to muster enough material to squeak out another TLC ride — and this season begins in Christine’s kitchen. Kody’s #3 is busily preparing to host her future son-in-law’s family, for a get-to-know-ya dinner. Mykelti and Tony became engaged after a whirlwind romance, and now the families will mix under the glow of the TLC cameras.

Christine is slopping together lasagna, fretting about the upcoming cultural mixing/blending challenge. Kody arrives, and reminds her that the daunting language barrier trumps her worst dinner nightmare. The family is concerned that Tony’s family might be repulsed by their plural freak show marriage, especially since their baby boy already defected to the Mormon church. Christine reminds us of her early horror at the lovebirds’ engagement, and is worried that Tony’s family won’t appreciate her televised cringes. She bellows out her mounting concerns, while assuring us that she’s since been convinced that Tony is super wonderful.

Tony and two of his siblings appear, and the mixed cultural invasion amps Christine’s jitters. Kody orders the trio to fetch tables, while the ladies share their first season giggles about their shaggy-haired husband. The group lugs tables across the cul-de-sac, which triggers a harrowing debate about how to cram 27 people in 24 slots. Tony delivers a tepid zinger, and the Browns laugh hysterically, overjoyed that they’re  scoring a family comedian. Tony’s clueless family has dubbed Kody a macho stud, which makes the patriarch’s day. As a side note, Tony earns points with his bride by assuring her that he still thinks polygamy is gross. Meanwhile, the great table setting debate rages on, as the family scratches their heads over where to put all of their XL guests. Mykelti delivers dramatic eye rolls about the challenges of mob communication, while Kody almost explodes with frustration.

Tony’s family arrives, and Tony breaks the ice by snarking about the tacky spectacle of multiplied marriage. Christine embraces Tony’s mother, Maria, and declares her breathtaking. The grandparents are also welcomed into the fold, as Tony’s crack sense of humor is applauded. Kody gives a toast to married sex, as Robyn wrecks the mood by announcing that their family uses cheddar in lasagna. The family swaps anecdotes about the happy couple, and decide that they have lots of rascally habits in common. Maria looks concerned, as Christine’s nervous, high-volume babble continues to echo off the walls. Mykelti asks Truely and Sol to be in her wedding, and they simultaneously roll their eyes and belch out their consent. Kody reveals that he’d like to close the sperm factory, but Robyn chimes in that if she or God intervenes, Kody will have to put out. The family declares the dinner a success, and super genuine.

Meri finally gets a word in edgewise, and reveals that she has her eye on an old family home that she wants to purchase for a bed and breakfast. She needs something to do that doesn’t involve a pretend beau, so she’s on her way to Utah to schmooze the owner. Christine’s mother, Annie, can’t wait to escape the cul-de-sac, so she’s up for playing caretaker. The duo greets the owner of the B&B, who twitches at the aroma of TLC cash wafting from their car. We get a peek inside the place as the owner talks history, and pretends that the dumpy exterior is priceless. She knocks it out of the park with a couple of photos of Meri’s ancestors, who look as gloomy as their descendant. They chat about the tawdriness of polygamist bed-hopping, while Meri nervously smiles, hinting at Kody’s signature pastime. The house is dingy and dated, but Meri is in love. She is worried about telling her family, but hopes to sell them on a free mass wedding venue. Annie is over the moon, and begins counting down the days to her escape.

Meri summons Robyn to drop the bomb, and Robyn is encouraging, but worried that Meri is drifting further and further from her wet bar. Mariah enters the picture, and Meri informs us that her daughter is still a lesbian. Meri admits that their relationship is super weird, but they’re working on it. Mariah grunts out her objections, but Robyn offers some lukewarm support. Robyn gives a nod to Meri’s fishy past, and speaks about  “someone” feeding her lies about the online affair. There’s distance between Robyn and Meri, but that’s ok, because Christine bellowed that she would assume the bestie role. Robyn warns Meri to tread lightly, and pray to catch Kody with an open wallet.

It’s time to nail down a wedding venue, so Kody, the wives, the bride and groom, and Aspyn, who is the maid of honor, travel to Utah to check out some spots. We get a plural mom intro tutorial, before the family checks out the first locale. The wedding will be dry, and Christine hopes that the Catholic side of the family won’t sneak in the hooch. Tony is declared the bridezilla of the group, as the clan discusses a mishmash of wedding details. The couple drops that they’re expecting 400 guests, and Kody’s jaw drops. Kody objects to the exorbitant number, while Mykelti rolls her eyes about “that man.” Tony doesn’t think that feeding 400 people tacos is any big deal, and Mykelti adds that they will actually save money, by going homemade and crafty. Mykelti dreams of meshing two cultures, and strangely dubs her own “vintage.” Tony hopes that the food will be authentic Mexican, not white and polygamous. Kody is in shock, and Tony is labeled a taco-obsessed party animal. Kody doesn’t want to put on a dud bash, and knows that Mykelti will compare his budget to his wedding payout to Madison.

Mykelti and Tony stop and ask Mykelti’s boss to officiate the wedding, and while he’s surprised, he’s thrilled to say “uh yes.” Mykelti can’t wait for his “fun references” and seems thrilled that Kody will be muzzled for this go-round. The couple nervously spills that Kody is out, and while he says that he doesn’t care — he clearly does. Mykelti’s struggle to join the Mormon church is revisited, and Kody is aware that his bed-hopping habits are the reason. The gang checks out the next place, and drops their taco fantasy to the rep. Mykelti turns up her nose at the idea of putting on her dress in a large bathroom, and Tony busts up the ladies’ rehearsal shimmy with a tacky remark. The ladies blush and giggle hysterically at Tony’s classless sense of humor. They check out their final option, which scores points for a solid dance floor and a nice bridal room. The lovebirds want to beat the crap out of each other via lifelike pinatas — but perhaps they should consider a father of the bride design.

The premiere closes with Mare dropping the BB bomb on the family. Kody, Janelle, and Christine are always annoyed by Meri’s dramatic news flashes, but the family is split, after hearing the big news. Kody is puzzled by the travel hurdle, and wonders how a dumpy house will generate cash. Janelle is encouraged by Meri’s sparkle, and is all for her new address. Kody’s flabby abs provide some comic relief before TLC cues the touching music, to accompany the official family vote. The ladies all want Mare’s nostalgic itch scratched, but Kody is demanding a business plan, and is annoyed by the crazed emotion leading the way.

Stay tuned as this season’s wedding takes shape — and Meri’s newest distraction comes true. 

 

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