The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills begins in Dorit’s closet, where she is busy organizing her designer accessory hoard and gossiping with PK. Dorit assures PK that Rinna is playing nice this season, so he decides to cave, and invite the enemy to Dorit’s birthday dinner.
We skip over to renovation hell — where Kyle and Mauricio are having their house ripped apart. They would rather renovate than relocate, and the demo phase is in full swing. The luxury redo is already driving the couple crazy, but no worries, because the Umansky crew is about to head out for their luxury Euro-vacation. The couple is even changing the “really ugly” shape of their pool — exposing an undiscovered problem of the wealthy.
We shift gears and join Rinna and Teddi, who are meeting for sushi, to get better acquainted. Rinna is skittish about opening up to another psycho newbie like Eden, so she’s taking things slow. The pair chats about family and schools, and Teddi declares that despite Dorit and Lisa’s intensely delivered warnings, she believes that Rinna is a pretty good egg. Teddi shares that equine love emotionally carried her through her parents’ divorce, and that she will be riding in a horse show that weekend. Dorit and Lisa are slated to attend, and Rinna will join, to support the likable rookie.
We next catch up with Lisa, who is in mid-prep for Dorit’s birthday dinner at Villa Blanca. PK and baby Phoenix serenade the birthday girl at home, before we jump over to the restaurant, where Teddi is debuting her hot hubby to the ladies. Rinna is thrilled that PK didn’t shut her out of the bash, and everyone makes an appearance, except for the vacationing Kyle. PK surprises his wife, ushering an adorable and tuxedoed Jagger into the room. Dorit is beyond thrilled, and waves around her brand new Birkin to prove it. Jagger livens things up by tagging Erika and Lisa “bad guys,” the mini spotlight-stealer triggering a few uncomfortable giggles.
Rinna grabs the chance to gush over Teddi’s famous father, and Teddi’s husband reveals that he has a sexy past as a background dancer. Teddi sticks a toe into the Bravo pool, deciding to accuse Erika of being dismissive in Vegas. Erika robotically apologizes for her chronic frigidity, while stifling a confessional eye roll. Rinna delivers the grand finale by standing up and proclaiming her presence a reality miracle. Happy birthday Dorit!
It’s therapy time next, because the writer penning Erika’s life story is popping in to further discuss Erika’s non-relationship with her father. Erika shares about her first adult meeting with her father, which crashed when he forgot that his daughter existed. Erika has no contact with her dad, after a few meetings faded into sad nothingness. The writer allows Erika to offer a vague reference to her son, while showing off his knickered gams.
We hop over to join Lisa, who is busily mopping up goose poop. The ladies gather at Lisa’s place, before heading out to Teddi’s horse show. Dorit has chosen a formal tea party dress for the occasion, rebelling against Teddi’s advice. On the way to the event, Rinna reveals that she’s headed to Tokyo with Erika, to chaperone her super-fab model daughter. Lisa drops a bomb when she produces her driver’s license to prove that it’s only her style that’s over the hill. She delivers the truth, proving that there’s only a three year age difference between herself and Rinna. Rinna brushes it off, but is stunned to learn that Lisa could not possibly be her mother.
The trio arrives at the horse park, where Teddi is prepping for the show. Teddi is too frugal to pay for her own horse, so she will be riding her trainer’s beauty. The two Lisas and Dorit arrive to support, and Teddi is immediately annoyed by Dorit’s fashion disobedience. Teddi is nervous, but performs beautifully and takes first place. Teddi’s skills impress the ladies, and the rookie is a happy winner. Teddi reveals that she’s a church-goer, and Rinna takes a moment to wistfully remember her good ol’ church days. Lisa advises her to run, not walk, back to her religious roots, and Rinna continues to take the snarky hits like a good sport. Meanwhile, Erika speaks to her mother about her childhood, which appears to be a mishmash of tough love, success, and daddy heartbreak.
We jump back to Teddi’s, where the couple is getting ready for a dinner at Dorit’s. Teddi breaks out her Yo-white jeans for the occasion, as Dorit shows off her fancy designer dishes, admitting that she occasionally fibs about her gauche spending. Dorit is cooking up a storm, humbly confessing that she’s a wiz in the kitchen. Teddi and Edwin arrive, and are greeted by a glassware tutorial, before the hostess dumps a load of especially brilliant white rice.
Teddi and Edwin share about an upsetting IVF experience, and we learn that their young son has a heart valve condition. The couple has residual guilt about making their child’s gender a priority, and the story is a touching one. PK tries to follow the tale with his own cone-headed anecdote, but the story is a clunker. We take a break and hop over to Rinna’s bedroom, where cameras capture Kyle checking in on the drama progression. Rinna catches her up on all she’s missed, and assures her that she and PK are still standing. Rinna promises to be substitute peacemaker in her absence.
The couples enjoy Dorit’s prolific one-pan dinner, and PK serves up scintillating dinner conversation, dishing some repeat dirt on Rinna. Rinna shaded their last dinner party, so evidently, PK is still out for blood. Dorit drops a familiar schizo jab, and rehashes the overseas brouhaha from last season. Teddi calls Dorit out for being a reconciliation poser, and a hypocritical hostess. The room begins to stink like contrived storyline.
Next week, Rinna and Erika head to Tokyo, and Dorit disrupts the cast peace.