Can you believe this is the 6th season of Married at First Sight? This time the hopeless romantics live in the wonderful city of Boston. Three couples, all smart and beautiful, have been matched by “experts” to their ideal mate, whom they will not meet until their wedding day. Did I mention that the only way out is divorce? No annulments for these folks. Talk about PRESSURE! Why do so many people sign up for this madness?
The first couple is Jaclyn (29) and Ryan (29). Jaclyn is an attractive sales rep and athlete who’s interested in a healthy lifestyle. The downside? Her last boyfriend died a year and a half ago. Ruh-roh. You know he’s on a pedestal. And though Jaclyn’s been through a lot, she has the total support of her friends. Ryan is a full-time firefighter/construction worker/landlord/athlete. Hope he has time for a wife. His parents are overwhelmed but on board. On the surface these two seem like a good match.
The second couple is Jonathan (28) and Molly (25). Jonathan is a hottie who used to work in finance, but get this, he got fired because of going on this show. Jerks! Besides being unemployed, Jon’s a thrill seeker and a cat lover – so obviously a total catch. When Jon was younger, his parents went through a 3-year divorce, so he’s coming from of a place of: Here’s what I don’t want. What he does want is a best friend he can have sex with. Good luck with that. Molly is a recovery insurance specialist, and don’t hate her because she’s beautiful. Her father passed away when she was 18, and Molly, her mom and three sisters are a very close-knit family – what Jonathan needs. Molly says she sucks at picking men so why not let the “experts” choose for her. Her family totally supports Molly’s lazy attitude optimistic decision-making.
The third couple is Shawniece (29) and Jephte (26). Shawniece is a cosmetologist with her own hairline who comes from a very large family. She likes tall men who are “in-it-to-win-it,” with her. Shawniece’s mother is not loving this idea, but loves her oldest daughter and will trust the process. Jephte is an elementary teacher, a little shy, and hopes his wife will be patient with him. He too wants someone who has his back, especially when it comes to dealing with his momma. When Jephte tells his mom, she’s like, What you talking about Jephte? She’s a strong Jamaican woman who wants God to choose his woman, not a bunch of “experts.” Won’t this wedding be fun!
The couples have two weeks to prepare for the wedding. There’s much to do. Pick out the gowns and tuxes. Choose the rings. Invite their friends. Have the bachelor and bachelorette parties – all on tonight’s show. Molly tries on a few gowns and is a knockout in any dress. Hell, she could wear a white table-cloth with a napkin belt and look good. Same with Jon. I don’t understand why these two can’t meet people? Something’s up – and won’t it be fun to find out. Reality sinks in just a bit when these two chose their outfits.
Next up, Ryan and Jaclyn shop for their wedding attire with their friends. I love the expressions of the boutique worker’s faces as they learn no one has met their prospective partners in person. Priceless! Ryan wants a tux that says: he’s a young handsome fellow with his own style. Translation: don’t tell him what to wear even if it’s goofy. Jaclyn chooses the first dress she tries on because she’s lazy that’s how she rolls. The funny thing is, neither of these two seem nervous. Yet.
Jephte rocks a boss, black tux, wisely refusing the pink tux his buddy suggests. Elsewhere, Shawniece is trying on a lacey, sexy dress, but please, girl, don’t wear your oversized glasses. She says yes to the dress which fits her like a T. Each will be pleased with what they see at the altar – if their moms don’t cock block them.
This season Married at First Sight is doing something a little different. The “experts” are letting the single girls meet and the single guys meet prior to the weddings. Will this help their disastrous batting average of successful marriages? Hell no, but I like how they’re mixing it up. Let’s hope they have a few more tricks up their sleeves this season. In any event, meeting up should help calm their nerves before they make the biggest mistake of their lives walk down the aisle to wedding bliss. They meet at the jewelry store.
First up the women bond over jewelry because obviously. Shawniece wants a big hunk of metal so the single ladies across the Boston Harbor can see he’s taken. The other two girls aren’t sure, but it’s not brain surgery like what the men have to go through over at their store. Jonathan asks to look at the cheap rings since he doesn’t have a job or money. He springs for the $1,000 ring with tiny diamonds. However, fireman Ryan splurges double on Jaclyn’s ring. Way to go, dude! Your hose will surely be putting out the fire at some point.
Afterwards, the women get together and we learn so much while they drink mimosas. First we learn that Shawniece talks a lot, had a nervous breakdown and was celibate all before the age of 30. Over with the guys we learn that fireman Ryan is taking things seriously, at least more than Jonathan who is suffering from income-envy. Jephte is taking it pretty seriously, but he’s giggling his way through, probably because he’s afraid of his mom’s reaction at the ceremony.
It’s now time for the bachelor/bachelorette parties. This is their last night as single people and things are getting turnt up. Bring on the strippers! Hey, Molly, if things don’t work out with you and Jonathan, maybe you can hook up with your cop friend seeing as how much you like him grinding on you.
Jephte’s pals are passing the Hennessy around while Shawniece and her friends get right to the heart of the matter. Will she have sex on the wedding night? Nope, says Shawniece. She will pleasure herself – like she’s been doing for-ever. The drinks are flowing, I’m a little concerned some of the grooms and/or brides will be hungover for their big day.
It’s the day of the wedding and Ryan is riding to the hotel in style – in his big red firetruck. Jaclyn is hopeful, yet scared, which is completely normal in the best of circumstances. Molly and her mom have a touching moment as they discuss her dad and how he’ll be watching from heaven. Jon and his friends joke about his wedding. Just wait until the wifey learns he doesn’t have a job, we’ll see who’s laughing then. And Shawniece is doing an ugly cry and ruining her makeup. Stop. Please stop. Jephte is pacing as he worries whether his mother is going to be supportive. Three guesses, all are no.
The five minute countdown begins. The good news is Jephte’s mom is in the front row, but she’s glaring at the in-laws. Here comes the groom to a bunch of cat calls. The bride’s side approves. The mom’s each say their kid better treat each other right, I know that’s right. And dere comes the bride…
Cut to Ryan and Jaclyn, who each say they’re ready for the roller coaster ride to begin. Ryan walks down the aisle in his beige suit and waits by the water’s edge. And waits. And waits. Behind the shrubbery, Jaclyn is taking deep breaths. I think she may need a first responder because she’s either about to faint or cut and run. Darn it. We have to wait until next week. Oh the humanity!
This was fun! Sure it’s a trainwreck in the making, but I hope you’ll join me each week to be armchair psychologists. Tune in next time to see if Jaclyn shows up (she does). To see if Jephte’s mom interrupts the wedding (she does). And to see if Molly freaks because Jonathan doesn’t have a job (she does).