The ladies of the 90210 are BACK, and a refreshed Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast looks ready to bring the heat. The premiere kicks off by bouncing us around the ladies, giving fans a quick catch-up. Lisa is still cuddling her pooch and Rinna is still calling Harry Hamlin, but Erika is “maximizing” her time by saying YES to doing it all. Her life has exploded, thanks to her super wealthy grandhusband, but Erika wants more, more, more. Her career is red hot, and her life is just a bedazzled blur of fabulous.
Meanwhile, Rinna is competing hard, hustling her model daughters. The two girls have hit the big time, and Rinna proudly announces that she’s a legit momager, adding that Harry is in a legit slump. Traveling docs stop by the house to hydrate the busy girl crew with vitamin drips. Rinna assures us that she’s keeping her girls “grounded,” as they all marvel at the pimple erasing house call. Rinna hopes that her girls won’t let their gorgeous fabulousness go to their heads.
We hop over to Kyle and Queen Lisa, who are meeting for a kick-off gossip sesh. Kyle’s show, American Woman, is ready to launch, and she’s excited to get the Bravo party started. Kyle is planning a trip to Vegas, to celebrate Dorit and Erika’s birthday. Bravo reminds us that Rinna and Dorit are not on the best terms, raising the odds for a kickoff round of drama. Rinna slammed Dorit hard last season, the faux friends last mixing it up at the reunion. Lisa snarks that Erika better pack her undies, and keep the puss scratching to a minimum.
We catch up with Dorit sharing a chat with sweet Jagger, who is speaking much better. Dorit connects with this season’s rookie, Teddi, a beauty who’s hosting a kiddie music class. The class is cute, and perfect for wealthy toddlers. Dorit reveals that she spent the last four months in Miami, while her Beverly Hills house was undergoing a renovation. Dorit and Teddi chat about children and horses, a typical first episode icebreaker.
Back in Erika’s office, Kyle arrives to drop the idea of the Vegas trip to the dance queen. Kyle spills that Mauricio is on the hunt for a new house, but no property has grabbed her heart. Erika makes excuses for her flopped Dancing With the Stars stint, before agreeing to try to make nice with Dorit in Vegas. Erika promises to be good, swearing on her chunky clip-on pigtails.
We next get to know Teddi better, and learn that she’s the daughter of musician, John Mellencamp. She met her husband via an extended one-nighter, and grew up in South Carolina. Teddi says that she was not spoiled growing up, and is determined to raise her two kids the same way.
Over at Dorit’s, we get a looksie at the deluxe reno, which includes a fancy Italian closet. Dorit discusses the Vegas trip with PK, who still has nightmares about run-ins with Erika and Rinna. Dorit agrees that Rinna’s runaway mouth is the worst, and the idea of a harmonious birthday party is a bit far-fetched.
Dorit next introduces Teddi to Queen Lisa, who gives her the classic newbie up-down. Lisa informs her that she requires a snarky sense of humor, and Teddi isn’t so sure that her cryptic comebacks will deliver. The pair chats about horses, and Lisa brings up the birthday bash. Dorit reminds her that Erika and Rinna are still on her hit list, and is worried that the Vegas trip might be a chilly affair. They agree that Erika is chronically frigid, but hope that they can laugh their way through the three days. Not so coincidentally, Teddi’s birthday is the next day, providing a reason to invite her into the Vegas mix. We get a glimpse of Kyle packing for the trip, and little Portia is growing like a weed. Mikey chooses a drag appropriate wardrobe for Erika, perfect for tacky Vegas strip drama.
The ladies gather at the airport, and Camille is along for the trip. Teddi meets the rest of the cast, and Dorit keeps the ladies guessing with a new do. Erika appears, and does her best to warm up her vibe. We hear that Rinna might join them later, and castoff, Eileen Davidson, is given a transitional shout-out. Dorit drops the bomb that Teddi isn’t a shopper, so Erika advises buying useless crap while drunk. Rinna phones in to announce that she will meet them in Vegas. The ladies take off, and after Kyle’s jittery leg slops wine all over her beloved Birkin, they arrive and check into their fancy digs. Kyle and Lisa catch Camille up on Rinna’s latest blurt, and Kyle spills that a run-in with hiker Harry led to a demand that her sis stay far away from the cast. Bravo rewound the epic bunny reunion brouhaha, and Rinna’s Emmy nominated single teardrop. Kyle hopes that she won’t have to discuss Harry’s buttinski comment with Rinna, but Lisa smells trouble.
We shift to Dorit, who’s getting pretty via her glam squad, and Erika, who is puckering up for a slutty painted pout. The cast gathers in Kyle and Lisa’s room, and Rinna’s mouth busts onto the scene as the episode fades.
Next week, the women get down and dirty in Vegas, and Teddi continues to adjust to life in the Bravo jungle.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Tuesdays at 9:00 p.m. ET on Bravo.