The Real Housewives of New Jersey begins with the cast rookie, Margaret Josephs, welcoming an interior designer into her home. Her renovation project is dragging, and Marge hopes that a professional can jump start her sluggish hubby. Putting out in the bedroom has been a bust, so Marge is counting on the designer to pull her home together. Joe wants neutral and classy, but Marge is determined to execute tufted and whorish. The designer and Joe hope to have the place looking bordello-chic by the time Margaret returns home from Italy.
We hop over to the Gorgas, where we learn that a medium has been summoned, so Joe can communicate with his dead mother. Joe wants reassurance that his mother is a-ok and living on, pain free. Melissa spills the dishy Kim D report, trying to laugh off the red hot tea spilled about Teresa’s alleged side piece. Margaret tells her husband about Teresa’s glass-smashing reaction to Kim’s accusation, shading Siggy and Dolores for walking in Kim’s fashion show. A confrontation is on the schedule, and although Joe Gorga labels Kim an “animal,” his wife, sister, and two backup dancers are the actual loud and proud aggressors.
We check in at Posche, and the place is already crackling with dramatic potential. Dolores and Siggy join the other models, and Siggy fills Kim in on Teresa’s volatile reaction to her juicy news. A show hairdresser evidently witnessed Teresa cozying up the mystery man, but Siggy refuses to believe that Teresa has a shady side. Kim reiterates that she believes that Joe and Teresa are over — and Siggy’s head almost explodes. Dolores doesn’t believe that Teresa is a cheater, at least in the bedroom.
The ladies are prepping for the big night, and Bravo jumps us around the homes, as the suspense builds. Teresa chats with Melissa about her game plan, namely to order Kim to shut her yapper about her prison-torn marriage. Melissa reminds us that Teresa is on probation, and can’t risk another ghetto hissy-fit. Meanwhile, Danielle delivers a walk down memory lane to an epic Posche flashback — which ended with Ashlee Holmes clutching a ripped out fistful of Danielle’s extensions.
The four gals load into a car, and can’t stop excitedly cackling about the upcoming “Italian shakedown.” Kim is clearly giving the foursome something to live for, and while the ladies talk big, they are clearly skittish as they enter the venue. Kim welcomes the crew warmly, but Dolores knows that Teresa has come for blood. Kim encourages them to bring it on, so Teresa takes a breath, and does her best. Kim doesn’t care, and informs the “dirty bitch” squad that Teresa has been spotted clubbing her nights away. The ladies try to nail Kim for the same — but she astutely points out that she doesn’t have a drunk husband to worry about.
Melissa tries to narrate the simple drama like the viewers are complete dolts, while Kim continues to steal the show. The fashionista threatens to send Teresa back to the clink, if she even dare wave a handcuffed scarred wrist in her direction. Margaret and Melissa turn on their fiercest glares while Danielle tries to grab a defensive moment in the spotlight. Teresa vetoes the move, hogging the stage like a true reality thief. Danielle declares that she’s simply delighted to be a Team Tre, even if she isn’t allowed to talk much. Teresa whips out her best “home wrecker/whore” rant, but Kim doesn’t back down, before making her exit. Teresa’s table flipping twitch gets the best of her, and she angrily tosses a chair, before Bravo rewinds a series of exposed black marks on the Giudice marriage.
Melissa tries to add to the drama by blasting Dolores and Siggy for walking in the show, but the moment has passed. Teresa tells the duo to eff off, labeling them Kim’s “puppets.” Teresa and her own puppets exit, and Dolores is dumbfounded by Teresa’s remarks. Siggy fights back tears, but Dolores brushes off the bossy spanking.
Kim gathers herself, and delivers a heartfelt intro, reminding the crowd that the event is a fundraiser for the families of murder victims. The show begins, and Dolores and Siggy look snazzy strutting the runway. Meanwhile, back at Margaret’s house, the foursome is excitedly debriefing the debacle. They decide that Kim was actually invisibly scared, and proclaim Teresa the winner. They also determine that Dolores and Siggy are dirty traitors and decide to revoke their Team Tre membership cards. Fresh lines in the sand have been drawn — which complicate the upcoming Milan trip. Teresa is hurt, and knows that it’s up to her to lead her groupies in this travel dilemma. Teresa determines that Dolores is not submitting properly, and hints that her old friend is about to land on her naughty list.
We shift to Margaret, who randomly fills in her staff on the latest drama, during Bravo’s weekly check-in at her office. The ladies nod obediently before Marge and her mom launch into a random convo about an upcoming senior love connection. We thankfully shift to Dolores and Frank, who are discussing their son’s future. Frankie is distracted by adolescent love, and Dolores wants him to cut the high school nonsense. Siggy joins the pair, and fills Frank in on the fashion show brouhaha. They blame Danielle and Marge for polluting the friendship dynamic, but Frank sides with Teresa, advising them to kiss up to her in person. Siggy is all for proving that she is always and forever Team Tre.
We shift gears and join Joe and Melissa, who are hitting the booze to deal with the idea of a medium invading their home. Teresa arrives for the spook-fest, and Melissa is petrified. The woman arrives, dropping an icebreaker about cocktails never mixing with the roused dead. The “simple girl” embraces them in a grandmotherly cloud, and informs them that their mother is close by. She references Milania’s sensitivity to phantom cooks, and assures them that all is good in the hereafter. She dishes up lots of spine tingling nuggets, and the family learns that their father wants to join his wife asap. The senior ghost whisperer abruptly snaps out of it, and the Gorga crew is blown away.
We jump back to Margaret’s, where her mom is getting an in-house makeover. Marge clearly wants to unload her mother, and hopes that a beauty spruce will seal the deal.
The next day, Siggy meets Teresa in her home, anxious to clear the air. Teresa scolds her for popping a mean strut for the enemy, but has to cave to Siggy’s reason for walking in the show. Siggy assures Teresa that she has her back, but explains that Margaret and Danielle’s incessant ass-kissing mucks up the communication. The friends make peace, and Teresa promises to schmooze Melissa into agreeing to Dolores making the trek to Italy.
We next see a snippet of the two Marges on a double date. The conversation is awkward, and the footage is irrelevant. The episode wraps with Teresa clearing Dolores for the Bravo ordered overseas trip. Dolores overstepped, but of course, Melissa gives the green light.
The ladies travel to Italy next week — and take the drama with them…don’t miss it!