Welcome back, y’all. At the end of last week’s Real Housewives of Dallas reunion, things were just getting good. Mark was set to join the ladies on the sofa and LeeAnne walked off the set. I’m pretty sure they lured her back with chocolate.
So we’re back, and Mark is sitting next to his wife, Cary. Flashbacks are shown of the control struggles between Mark and Cary and the jealousy he feels toward his own daughter. Mark tells Andy he loves his daughter and joins her for dinner six nights a week. Bless his heart, he’s so sweet to wait until after dinner to head out to the Round Up. Mark claims what everyone else does when they don’t like themselves on TV, the cameras caught him in some bad moments. Some? And his humor is called sarcasm, in case you thought it was called angry white man.
Onto the Round Up! What does Mark have to say about being “serviced” at what Andy calls the “big, gay country bar” that he will be going to after this taping? Mark says it’s not true. LeeAnne apologizes for repeating what someone else told her. She meant to hurt Cary, not Mark. Andy pressed LeeAnne to reveal who said this, but she won’t because she’s “not comfortable” talking about this subject anymore. D’Andra and Kameron chime — they both think going after Mark was wrong.
Mark and Cary say they are in a good place now because therapy comes to them and apparently that works better than going to therapy. LeeAnne admits to owning what she says. Having said that, Cary apologizes for saying Rich has a small penis. It was in retaliation for everything LeeAnne has said. Which is exactly why LeeAnne was saying the hurtful crap she was saying. Andy asks if the two can ever get past this. Cary says she hopes so and LeeAnne says she hopes she can stop being idiotic.
Next, Andy asks Mark about Cary being the “fucking nanny” while he was married to his ex-wife. Mark says he thought they went over this last season, but no, they didn’t have an affair. Brandi says she heard about Cary being the occasional babysitter from Mark’s daughter, and then twisted it in her little mind. Brandi apologizes for being a psychotic bitch.
Andy asks why we never see Mark’s kids on the show, and this doesn’t get answered, but Cary says his kids are, Like her best friends, y’all. Stephanie says she has never been so disappointed in Brandi in all her dang life than that night she accused Cary of being the “fucking nanny.” And this makes her so sad, y’all. D’Andra sticks up for LeeAnne, of course, and asks why Mark and Cary still allow Brandi into their home but won’t extend the same grace to LeeAnne. Mark accuses LeeAnne of being cray-cray. Cary says she forgives Brandi, but the jury is still out on whether she will ever forgive LeeAnne.
Next, flashbacks are shown of the up and down love-fest between Brandi and LeeAnne. So why did Brandi explode at LeeAnne’s engagement luncheon? Brandi says it’s because of how LeeAnne kept threatening people. Really Brandi? Kameron calls Brandi a hypocrite, and Brandi’s like, whatever. LeeAnne says it was a joke that she would slit Brandi’s throat. Brandi accuses LeeAnne of taking people’s low points and exploiting them. They call each other liars and nothing is resolved.
A viewer question suggests that Cary and Stephanie were being “mean girls on steroids” to make Brandi choose them over LeeAnne. Cary and Stephanie disagree — they feel it was the other way around. Stephanie tells LeeAnne “you are who you hang out with,” which is repeated a lot this season. LeeAnne says “everything” is not her fault. So will LeeAnne invite any of the ladies to her wedding?
Andy asks if Brandi and LeeAnne will ever be friends again. LeeAnne responds maturely and explains she’ll always give people another chance. Brandi on the other hand, rudely says that she can’t be friends with someone so toxic. LeeAnne says her heart has been ripped from her chest and is now on the floor — Brandi takes the opportunity to stomp all over it and blurts out that she doesn’t think LeeAnne can change because she’s 50. And it’s like a scientific fact that people don’t change after 50. OMG, Brandi! Just when I think you’ve reached your vapid limit, you hit a new high.
So it’s the old rose and thorn game they stole from RHONY. Stephanie says her rose is her friendship with Brandi and her thriving son. Forget about the other kid. And her thorn is the broken people all around her. Obviously not her. Kameron says her rose is building new friendships and her thorn is being with people who don’t respect her boundaries. She’s talking to you, Brandi. D’Andra’s rose and thorn has been pontificating on her relationship with her mother. Stephanie asks what pontificating means? Seriously? Just sit there and look pretty. Cary’s rose has been her husband’s support and fashion sense and her thorn has been the rumors about them. LeeAnne can’t see any roses because her garden is gray and the thorns are everywhere. Brandi says her thorn is hurting people she loves and her rose goes to Stephanie. Will you accept this rose, Stephanie? Okay, that was lame.
In closing, Andy tells D’Andra since she’s the voice of reason to pontificate something special for them. D’Andra says they need to let the dust settle and come back with a fresh perspective. Andy loves that thought, but doesn’t say whether there will be a reason to come back next year.
What do you think? Should there be a season 3 of The Real Housewives of Dallas? Sound off below.
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