Honestly, if you ever questioned the friendship between Siggy and Dolores — this episode erases all doubt! Siggy literally kisses Dolores’ ass, and Dolores stands by Siggy’s side while she gets pellets injected into her rear. Now that’s BFF goals AF!
This episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey kicks off with the ladies picking up the pieces, after the disastrous Gorga restaurant tasting. Teresa is packing for a family getaway, and it’s hard not to notice her dad’s weird canine-like grunting from the corner — as he barks at
his bitch Teresa to pack his Italian speedos for Puerto Rico.
Meanwhile, Siggy is visiting a hormone doctor, and her bestie, Dolores, is there to cheerlead her through the moody ordeal. The doc informs Siggy that her hormone levels are lower than low. Siggy attributes her recent emotional rollercoaster to the chemical deficiency, and is eager to get her mood swings stabilized. The ladies rehash the drama from the Gorga shindig, and Siggy tells Dolores how she was ambushed and grilled by Teresa and Danielle.
The shady duo took aim at Dolores’ living arrangement with her ex — and Siggy had some explaining to do. Dolores is shocked to learn that Mrs. #65704-050 (Joe’s inmate #) and a serial fiance/porn star would have the balls to question her love life. Dolores then unleashes on the Bravo convict — and says in a talking head confessional that Joe has been accused of cheating and Teresa blames him for sending her up the river. But Siggy defends the prison wife, blaming her cloudy judgement on the passing of her mother.
Next, Big Pigtails pulls up in an eyelash batting car — and meets Lil’ Pigtails in the yard for a gossip sesh. Margaret brings her mother up to speed about the drama that went down at the Gorga tasting. According to Margaret’s recollection, Si
In an awkwardly staged scene, loose-lipped Danielle calls Te
Over at the Gorga’s, it’s dinnertime and the kiddos surround their parents in the kitchen, with the exception of Antonia, 11. She’s growing up way too fast and is glued to her cellphone. Joe and Melissa prepare the meal while discussing the perils of parenting. Joe is super strict, and has forbidden his pre-teen princess from having a boyfriend.
We next sit in on the big showdown between Margaret and Dolores. Margaret loses the pigtails for the face-to-face, and out the gate, starts bashing Siggy — immediately putting Dolores on the defense. Most would call Dolores a loyal friend, who never throws others under the bus — her faithful track record boosting her claim that she did not badmouth Teresa to Danielle. Marge then opens up about a painful family dynamic involving her step-kids. They haven’t spoken to her in 6 years, ever since she cheated on their dad with the hired help. The lunch ends on a positive note.
Back in Puerto Rico, Teresa interrogates Milania about her grandfather’s sad emotional state, to which her daughter responds — “Uh…of course he misses his wife!” Teresa keeps the gloom going when she reminds her daughter that her own father is also absent. Milania is clearly annoyed, and wants the prophet of doom to vamoose. She’s pretty sharp for an 11-year-old.
Back stateside, Melissa and Antonia go shopping, and the convo soon turns to boys. Melissa pries the girl for info to identify her crush, because she knows there is one — but Antonia only blushes and says nothing.
In PR, Teresa organizes a tropical photoshoot, but quickly realizes that raising kids to be spoiled brats has come back to bite her in the hiney. She now sees that she’s allowed her girls to run amuck, because they are rude and disrespectful at every turn. The girls ricochet between “no” and “hell no” — and are totally over cheesing it for the camera. On a brighter note, Teresa’s eyes are finally open and her spawns’ reign of terror might be over. Who am I kidding?
Joe takes his daughter out for some trampoline father/daughter time, after Melissa informs him that Antonia is “terrified” to talk to him. After Joe shows off his stuff with a few flopped flips, they sit down to chat. The philosophical father explains to Antonia: “I want to protect you, and I only want what’s best for you.” And, “I know there are boys around…you just have to respect yourself.” Very moving points, but I bet Antonia wished this convo had happened off-camera.
Across town, Siggy and Dolores, along with their spouses, are meeting for dinner. Siggy’s mood pellets have kicked in and she’s in heat — so Michael’s a happy camper. Dolores soon brings up her meeting with Margaret. She tells Siggy that Marge was nice to talk to one-on-one, and her woeful tales about her estranged step-kids touched her heart.
Dolores explains that Marge wants to end their beef and move on. Siggy agrees, and plans to give the rookie another shot.
We hop back to PR, and witness a reflective moment between Teresa and her dad. Her dad doles out some hardcore advice — informing his daughter that her kids are terrors and spoiled brats who need discipline. He’s now the man of the house, and is ready to set them straight with an old school whooping. Teresa then brings up his deceased wife — which sets off another avalanche of teary grunts. The noise is torture — Bravo, please put us out of our misery! Teresa then grabs the opportunity to throw her jailed hubby under the bus — blaming him for sending her to prison and robbing her from precious months with her mom. Teresa is planting revealing seeds, but her dad doesn’t catch the obvious hints.
Tune in next week, when Siggy hosts her first girls therapy weekend and invites Margaret and Melissa.
The Real Housewives of New Jersey airs Wednesdays at 9:00 p.m. ET on Bravo.