Friendships continue to unravel this week on The Real Housewives of New Jersey, after the explosive fight between Dolores and Danielle. Wednesday night’s episode kicks off with a stinky Margaret returning home from Vegas, after a shoe merchandising meeting. She warns her husband not to get too close — her puss and pits are gross and the shower is calling her name. Margaret’s happy to be home, but complains that her husband is a stage 5 pigtail clinger. Marge’s friend stops by to fill her on Melissa’s public shaming and Danielle’s TKO at Siggy’s party.
Big Frank and lil’ Frank are working on chairs, as Dolores arrives home from a date with her boyfriend, David. Frank jokes about his ex-wife’s future plans with her beau, but Dolores is not diving into marriage #2 because that would symbolize the real deal end of marriage #1. Dolores rehashes her fight with Danielle from the night before, and Frank offers kudos to his ex for not knocking Danielle’s lights out.
Dolores is hurt by Teresa’s reaction to Danielle’s accusations — considering their 20-year history together. Frank explains that Teresa’s sensibilities are delicate right now due to her incarcerated husband and rugrat kids. He believes that Teresa might just need some time to wise up to Danielle’s game.
The next day, the three restaurateurs unveil the family pizza joint to Papa Gorga, who becomes teary and overwhelmed with emotion. Teresa tears up as well, because the place reminds her of her recently deceased mother. Joe ushers his dad into the kitchen, and Teresa realizes her brother’s selection of family pics includes a clunker — a splashy photo of Melissa’s face, with just a drop of Joe. Teresa voices her displeasure with the couple snapshot — after all, this is a family restaurant, and Melissa is technically disqualified, because she’s only a Gorga by insemination. An angry Melissa storms out of the restaurant — leaving Joe to battle it out with his sister. The trio can barely keep straight faces as they act out this scene.
Meanwhile, Teresa and her teen daughter, Gia, are shopping for bathing suits for their upcoming vacation. The family getaway was designed to include Nonna, and will be the first since Teresa’s prison return. Teresa points out that Gia and her all of her sisters are moody and hormonal. The pair chats about parental discipline or the obvious lack thereof. Gia delivers crack teen analysis, informing her mother that she doesn’t put her foot down because she’s afraid of being detested. Teresa doesn’t argue, but adds that she just wants permissive perfection, so she can be the best mom in Jersey. Gia informs her that such a goal is not the definition of legit parenting — adding that children do need discipline. The concept goes right over Teresa’s head.
Later that evening, Siggy is having dinner with her parents. Siggy shares that Josh’s attitude has become fresh and it’s bothering her. Her parents think that Josh is just growing up, and that acting like a disrespectful twat is part of becoming a man. Her parents remind her that when she left Israel at 18, they cut the apron strings, and she needs to do the same with her son.
Back at Teresa’s, Melissa, Joe and Joey drop in for a family visit. The three adults rehash their spat at the restaurant, and Teresa explains that her reaction stemmed from Melissa criticizing her parenting. Melissa has taught herself not to sweat the small stuff, so she decides to let it go. They discuss Siggy’s decision to publicly diss Melissa, and Danielle’s allegation about Dolores.
We next join Siggy and Michael, who are celebrating their 11th anniversary at Michael’s favorite NYC restaurant. The topic of Siggy’s career comes up, and while Michael wants his wife to slow down, Siggy is not quite ready. She wants the next chapter in her life to amp up, because two kids are in college, and one is almost out the door. Siggy wants to do monthly women’s retreats, so she winks and bats her eyes at her adoring hubby. Michael caves.
Over at Marge’s shoe showroom, she’s meeting with her team and a potential business trip to Milan is discussed. Stay tuned for the future cast trip.
It’s the day of the Gorga Restaurant tasting, and Joe is busy adding the final touches, before his guests arrive. Teresa and Melissa arrive early, and the scene is set. Meanwhile over at Siggy’s, she braces her husband for the upcoming girl drama. At the same time, Dolores and Frank engage in pre-game banter, as they prepare to enter the battle of the extensions.
Margaret arrives at the bash first, and is introduced to Teresa’s dad — who cracks a dirty joke about Marge’s blonde “up there” hair. Danielle and her fiance show up, then Siggy, who’s in her signature upbeat mood. Siggy greets the ladies, as Teresa jokes about Siggy’s sidekick’s whereabouts. Siggy clarifies that Dolores is coming with Frank, and the convo turns to why Dolores chooses to live with her ex. In a moment of amazing clarity — Marge defends Dolores and Frank’s living arrangement.
Danielle changes the topic, because she needs her martyr narrative fulfilled — so she asks if Teresa believes her tall tale about Dolores badmouthing the cookbook author behind her back. Teresa is on the fence — she has history with Dolores but feels Danielle has no motive to lie. Melissa throws in her two cents, and declares that Danielle is a misunderstood angel. Siggy chimes in to defend Dolores, asserting that her bestie would never gossip with the prostitution whore about anyone in the group.
The tension is finally broken when the food is served. While the women stuff their faces with pasta, Dolores sneaks in the door. Dolores is immediately uneasy in Danielle’s presence. Joe grabs his chance to veer into Housewife mode, questioning Dolores about the latest chick drama. Dolores makes it clear that Danielle is stirring the pot. Joe wants Dolores to fix it, but she reminds him that you can’t fix a cracked egg. Siggy brings up Margaret’s Boca memorial snub, and Melissa defends Margaret’s motive behind the wreath gesture. Siggy doesn’t appreciate it and snarks “f*ck that sh*t” in response.
At this point, Margaret and Danielle hop into the mix, and Teresa tells Margaret that Siggy can’t forgive her for the Boca diss. Siggy makes it clear to Margaret that she’s not interested in mending their relationship after the memorial exclusion, sticking her tongue out to drive home her point. Siggy goes off on Margaret — shading her cheap brand — mishmash goods imported from China.
Teresa and Dolores then launch into a shouting match over Margaret’s treatment of Siggy. Dolores gets bold, verbally overpowering the felon and shutting her down! Siggy chimes in, and tells Pigtails that she’s scum of the earth for making fun of her. Siggy storms off and throws in a hilarious gesture in the middle of the commotion — turning around and snarling that the ladies are b-o-r-i-n-g!
Dolores begins to follow Siggy out the door, when Danielle — who’s intent on fanning the flames—growls “Hey Dolores, where’s your honey…when do I get to meet him?” — implying that she’s cheating with Frank. Dolores flies over to Danielle’s face, and the fireworks explode again. Danielle taunts Dolores about choosing to live with her ex-husband while she has a boyfriend. Thank goodness, Teresa grabs Dolores and ushers her out the door, before Dolores rips Danielle’s extensions out — like Ashlee did during that epic country club smackdown in Season 2.
This war is far from over — tune in next week when Dolores and Margaret face off.