Welcome to the season finale of The Real Housewives of Dallas, y’all! This extended episode will coincide with LeeAnne and Rich’s engagement party so the world can celebrate with her. Oh joy. The theme is carnival which is totally fitting. We will get to meet LeeAnne’s mom so perhaps this will help us understand the pathology of LeeAnne. D’Andra doesn’t recommend this mother/daughter reunion, but hey, it’s not about them, it’s about ratings.
Onto Stephanie and her mausoleum of a house. They are filling in the pool, gutting the kitchen, adding a garage apartment, a family room, a play room, a new master bedroom, and changing the elevator because obviously. There goes the deal of the century.
As we speak, LeeAnne’s mother is on her way to Dallas. When the doorbell rings, Rich refuses to put down his drink, get off the couch, and answer the door. Margaret arrives and is nothing like the evil woman LeeAnne has described her as. LeeAnne now tells us her mom has changed and softened over the years. LeeAnne shares the meaning behind her ring with her mom and Rich shares he no longer has a Porsche in the garage.
We join Brandi with her kids perched unsafely on the kitchen counter. Her daughter’s birthday is coming up and we learn she is fascinated with elves or little people as they should be called. Next the kids and mom destroy the kitchen with confetti. Bryan walks in and the kids are sent away so Brandi can tell him her fertility is declining rapidly and if they want to have another child they’d better hurry. They joke about getting busy on the dirty confetti. I’m sure it was no joke.
Back with LeeAnne and her mother, they open boxes from her past of pageant crowns and sashes. LeeAnne’s inner child is in pain over her mother’s abandonment. LeeAnne says they have never had an authentic conversation and she wants a deeper relationship. Margaret wants this too. So guess what? We are going on a mother/daughter therapy session! Yay, this will be so much fun. Margaret says that their perceptions of LeeAnne’s childhood are very different, but she will wait to discuss this with the therapist since LeeAnne tends to fly off the handle. Does she know her daughter or what?
Up next, Stephanie and Cary are having and luncheon intervention with Brandi on her dependence to LeeAnne. Let’s do Tequila shots first though because that will make things better! Brandi begins with an apology to Cary about the “f*cking nanny” comment she made about Mark. Cary then takes responsibility for saying she can’t be friends with them, in Mexico. She explains it came from a place of protecting Kameron, instigated by LeeAnne. Stephanie tells Brandi she doesn’t trust LeeAnne and they warn Brandi to be careful. Brandi says she thinks she is being manipulated by LeeAnne.
Next, a very anxious D’Andra is meeting with her mother to give her the bad news the new product will not meet its launch date. She is worried Dee will lose confidence in her. Dee tests the product and says she would like it to be thicker. How astute is she? It will be thicker once the missing ingredient is added. D’Andra shares that the L22 fell through the cracks. Dee says this is a very expensive mistake and to quit making excuses for it. D’Andra tells her mother it’s her fault and it won’t happen again. Dee says they need to make lemon-aide from lemons which sounds like a good missing ingredient to me. Then in a tearful confession, Dee tells her daughter she is really tired and ready to hand her the keys to the business. D’Andra and Dee hug it out. D’Andra is ready to finally take over her legacy.
Cary and Zuri are at home playing together. Cary realizes she may not be cut out for full-time mommy-hood because Zuri is a constant reminder of Mark, bless her heart. But it’s Cary and Mark’s 7 year-itch anniversary and Zuri hands over a gift after dropping it. Cary is given an $8K Hermes wallet (that is nothing special) and a $12K Birkin bag (how predictable). Cary does not have a gift for Mark, but she’ll pay for it later, no doubt.
It’s therapy time! Margaret says she has mixed feelings about being there. The therapist points out that LeeAnne and Margaret have zero connection. They are asked to talk like the therapist isn’t there, but Margaret is afraid to talk to LeeAnne because her fear is that LeeAnne will crush her if she lets down her shield. Margaret doesn’t understand how LeeAnne can say that she abandoned her when she used to sit in the car and cry when she had to leave her little girl at her parent’s house. After LeeAnne’s father walked out on them, she tried her best. LeeAnne says she didn’t feel wanted and Margaret says that’s not true. They too hug it out, but no million dollar company is handed over.
We join LeeAnne’s engagement party in full swing. LeeAnne is happier than a pig in a pile of mud. The ladies arrive and are all blown away that a carnival can be classy. However, Brandi is conflicted about being there. Kameron announces that her dog food is officially on the shelves. Cary and Mark show up for Rich, LeeAnne not so much, and pretty much keep to themselves. D’Andra gives a touching toast to the couple, followed by a toast from LeeAnne to her friends.
In a private moment, LeeAnne tells Brandi how lucky they are to be friends and how far they’ve come. Then LeeAnne tells Brandi not to fuck her over or she will slit her throat. LeeAnne gives her best evil laugh. Brandi’s eyes widen, but she musters up a smile as she looks for the exit.
The following morning D’Andra is throwing an engagement brunch for LeeAnne. LeeAnne shares that Mark and Cary were very stand-offish at the party – imagine that. D’Andra aptly describes Cary and LeeAnne as two pitbulls. Across town, Brandi shares with Stephanie about LeeAnne’s comment to slit her throat. Stephanie assures her this is not normal.
The only women invited to the brunch are the cast members. Where’s LeeAnne’s mom? They toast the bride-to-be then D’Andra asks if Cary and LeeAnne will be able to get along for the bachelorette party and wedding, or season three if there is one. LeeAnne’s says after Mexico she had to put up with Rich being upset with her for two whole days over things she said about Mark. Cary trumps her two days with two years. And here we go, let the fighting commence.
LeeAnne places the onus of their bad relationship entirely on Cary for the hurtful things she has said. Cary says it’s on both sides, and Stephanie speaks up, be still my heart, and agrees that she doesn’t trust LeeAnne because of how she lashes out. Cary tells LeeAnne she must be so exhausted worrying about Cary’s life so much. LeeAnne says when Cary’s not around, she doesn’t think about her. Brandi raises her hand to call bullshit on this. LeeAnne’s mouth drops down on the lovely breakfast table and hopefully a knife is not in her grasp.
Brandi calls LeeAnne a walking, talking contradiction who does / doesn’t want her to be friends with Stephanie or Cary. LeeAnne says that’s not true. A flashback is shown of LeeAnne making the comment about Brandi and Stephanie ruining their reputations to Cary and Kameron in Mexico, but Kameron denies hearing this. Cary admits she told Brandi and Stephanie about this. Brandi says LeeAnne uses information against people and gets off on the fact that Stephanie and Brandi weren’t friends for a while. More flashbacks are shown supporting Brandi’s take. Both women swear on a bible that they are right.
Brandi says FU to LeeAnne for wanting to slit her throat and runs out, but says a quick thank you to D’Andra for being a lovely hostess. Kameron tells Cary that LeeAnne won’t kill her. Like, right? And that’s it y’all. We made it through season two. Here are the updates:
D’Andra – Dee gave D’Andra the key to the business…but didn’t tell her she made a duplicate. Dee insisted she stay on through the new product launch…and is still in the office everyday…at 9am…because she doesn’t completely trust her daughter.
Cary – Returned to work two days a week. Mark flew her to Zurich to celebrate. And bought her another Birkin…because that’s the only way he can show his love.
Kam – Isn’t 100% sure that LeeAnne won’t kill anyone. But it doesn’t matter because Sparkle Dog has hit the shelves. And Court is out of the red…and into the pink…because the dog food is completely overpriced.
Stephanie – Cruz continues to excel at his new school. Construction continues on Stephanie’s new house. Travis continues to complain about spending money…because he is most likely running out.
Brandi – Is taking space from LeeAnne. And has stopped being nasty. Except with Stephanie who loves a nasty joke. And Bryan who likes it that way…as they try for their third child…and hopefully this will finally fulfil Brandi.
LeeAnne – To be at peace for her wedding next summer…LeeAnne is adding behavioral therapy to anger management…and taking Brandi off this guest list…isn’t Rich a lucky guy?
Tune in next week for The Real Housewives of Dallas reunion where there will be “fire, just fire” according to LeeAnne.