#RHOC RECAP: Vicki Suffers A Major Medical Crisis In Iceland + Lydia Calls Out Tamra For Excluding Her!

We’ve made it to Iceland with The Real Housewives of Orange County! Currently, there are 20 hours of light and only 4 hours of darkness in Iceland. You know what that means? Day drinking! But the vampire named Tamra isn’t too keen on that much sunlight. It burns her skin. And Kelly is getting sick in the back of the bus so she moves to the front as we endure flashbacks of her hurling. Peggy asks the driver to say something in Icelandic, so he does, but then Peggy whines she can’t understand a word he says. (Insert eye roll.)

Iceland is beautiful! The ladies stop at a clothing store to purchase heavy winter outfits they will never wear again. Vicki and Tamra start having fun together, which will soon cause Shannon’s head to implode. Back on the road, Kelly won’t shut up with her questions to the driver. Take the coffee away and let the man drive.

The women arrive at the lodge and the rooms are themed. There’s an Antarctica futuristic themed room; the African hut with dead skin themed room; the Royal suite with white leather furniture themed room; and an Asian with everything low to the ground themed room. Shannon keeps shrieking that she needs to go to her room and lie down. Go already, will you. I think Shannon just didn’t want to toast Tamra and Vicki’s friendship.

It’s 8:35 pm, and it might as well be two in the afternoon. The women meet outside for drinks except for Shannon and Tamra. Lydia is wondering where all the ice in Iceland is – a common misconception. Go to Greenland, sweetie. Anyway, the ladies are gathered for a delicatessen lesson from the owner of Hotel Ranga, Fridrik. First lesson, skaal is how you say, cheers, in Icelandic. Next is a drink called, Black Death, which totally sounds appealing, and is supposedly better than a sleeping pill. After that is the fermented shark (I think). You keep it in your mouth until you’re about to gag and then you either swallow it or spit it, depending on what type of girl you are. Meghan says she loves it, but declines a second bite. And lastly is the puffin. The ladies say it’s the best, but Lydia won’t eat it because puffin’s live on rainbows.

Afterwards, Lydia invites everyone back to her suite. Drama ensues when Lydia learns she was left out, once again, this time of a group text. Meghan solves the problem by adding Lydia to the group, but her feelings are still hurt. Yawn. Later that night, Kelly and Vicki go out with Fridrik and whoop it up at a 1987 high school reunion they randomly crash.

The following morning the ladies get up and Tamra and Shannon are dressed in matching Viking hats with braided blond pigtails. When Tamra learns about Kelly and Vicki’s escapades, her feelings are hurt because in the past she would have been the one to go out and whoop it up until three in the morning with Vicki. Now that Tamra’s handcuffed herself to Shannon, fun isn’t allowed anymore.

We’re off for our first Icelandic adventure, but first the ladies must put on their moon suits. There is no XL so Shannon must squeeze into a medium. Kelly has plenty of time to go pee. In order to get to the Black Sand Beach, which is like Mars, the ladies must ride ATV’s. Flashbacks are shown of the Glamis incident. When they arrive the ladies are not impressed with the dirty beach or the dead whale bones and are ready to leave almost immediately.

Next adventure is a lunch by a waterfall. It’s called Skogafoss Waterfall and it’s breathtaking. At the table, Shannon whispers to Tamra that she owes a disgruntled Lydia an apology for leaving her out of the original group text of Tamra sitting in her Asian bathtub. Valuable time is wasted proving to Tamra that she screwed up, being that she’s perfect. Once it’s proven to Tamra that she did in fact screw up, she is dismissive about it, saying it wasn’t a purposeful oversight, so get over it. Lydia tosses the menus at Tamra and Shannon, gets up and walks off.

Peggy follows Lydia and Vicki follows them. They knock on the door but Lydia is “seriously peeing right now” so they leave her alone. Lydia clarifies that it wasn’t a big deal that she was left out yet again, what made her mad was Tamra’s flippant attitude. Is it wine o’clock yet? These women.

Bridgett arrives with baby Aspen to nurse. Meghan pops out a boob, and the rest of the ladies are like, Hey let’s go anywhere but here. As they walk towards the waterfall, Vicki quietly tells Lydia she may owe Tamra an apology for tossing the menus at her. I think Lydia should apologize for missing, but Vicki wants Lydia to learn from her mistakes. Lydia takes her advice and asks if she and Tamra can speak. Long story short, it was a complete waste of a good apology.

The next adventure for the ladies is to hike on a glacier. Their guides look right out of a Disney movie, Olaf and Soffia. They tell the ladies not to worry if they fall into a crevice, their safety equipment will help. Only Meghan is like, Wait, what? As the ladies put on their gear, Olaf seems unimpressed that Kelly has new boobs and vagina. Everyone gets an ice pick and here we go, let’s see some ice.

Pretty quickly Shannon is struggling up the glacier. But if she would just STFU she would save all kinds of oxygen. They make it to the top of the glacier and have an aha moment that they are insignificant in the grand scheme of life. If only this feeling could last forever.

Meghan needs to pee so they find a glacier hole for her to ruin nature. Olaf tells the ladies that in 20 to 30 years the glacier won’t be there because of climate change. He says that in 200 years Iceland will be gone. When Meghan points out their great, great-grandkids won’t have an Iceland to visit, everyone is like, When do the helicopters show up? The upside is this has been the best workout of Shannon’s entire life.

Back at the hotel, Vicki isn’t feeling well. She heads to her room, but things get worse from there. Vicki begins throwing up and says she’s having a heart attack. Kelly tells her it’s just an anxiety attack and to get back into bed. Peggy and Kelly (finally) make the decision to call an ambulance. The three most dreaded words in reality television appear…to be continued. And what’s even scarier – there are no scenes for next week. Gulp.

 

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