#RHOC Recap: Shannon Beador Says Cheating Husband Is Disgusted With Her Weight Gain!

We join The Real Housewives of Orange County as everyone is getting ready for Doug’s Balls-Voyage party. Peggy and Diko are arguing about his very expensive Louboutin boat shoes. Will the Real Housewife please stand up? At the marina, Doug and Lydia are taking a boat ride before the boat ride. Doug’s vasectomy is the following day so he’s getting his drink on – who cares if doctors typically advice against this. What do they know?

Turns out this boat doesn’t allow shoes, even if they’re very expensive boat shoes. Lydia and Doug don’t actually own this boat after all. Meghan shows up and brings her husband, what’s his name? Oh yeah, Jimmy. Jimmy and Doug bond over their choice to stash sperm prior to surgery. Meghan apologizes to Lydia for not calling her after being left out from the girls’ dinner – because she is and was hormonal.

The rest of the couples show up except Eddie. Tamra is solo and Vicki is still not feeling well. Below deck, Lydia is confused and doesn’t know who to hate for leaving her out of dinner because each one of the ladies gets blamed. On deck, the men are still talking about their balls like it’s some fascinating topic. Diko mentions Peggy having cancer and David’s ears perk up like a rabbit’s. Diko explains about the 3 millimeters and David is like, “Did she or didn’t she have cancer, Dude.” Michael and Jimmy are smart to be in their own conversation away from this. My guess is baseball. Again, men and their balls.

Anyway, it’s time for the sunset toast from Lydia. She lies, shame on her, and says how much she appreciates everyone, so raise a glass, “To Doug and his balls!” Buh-bye! Lydia mentions the push present Doug wants, and Peggy is confused. She’s never heard of this. Where are her three push presents? I mean it’s not like she doesn’t have 12 exotic sports cars to choose from or bags that are worth $60K. Maybe Diko should buy her a boat.

Tamra apologizes to Peggy about the ambush she received during the girls’ dinner and how she didn’t do a damn thing to help a girl out. What’s really going on here is Tamra is setting the scene to replace Shannon with Peggy as her new BFF. But Peggy isn’t feeling it because Tamra could have said something in the heat of the moment, but didn’t.

The party’s over! Up next is a vasectomy with Doug and colonics with Kelly and Vicki. Why Bravo? Why? Haven’t we been punished enough this season with Shannon? So everything went well with the ball snipping surgery. Doug is fine and ready for his bag of frozen peas. Kelly’s colonics was fine, but Vicki’s is a little more complicated since according to her, she doesn’t poop because that’s gross. Vicky is moved to tears as the toxicity in her life is sucked out her poo-hole. Kelly encourages Vicki to reach out to Tamra and call a truce. Vicki says she just wants to be happy with what life she has left to live.

It’s Easter time and Shannon’s mom is in town visiting from Nashville. Shannon discusses her weight gain and cries to her mom that ever since the vow renewal, David has backed away from her. We learn Shannon’s parents fought a lot and there was infidelity in that marriage, too, which eventually led to divorce. Shannon can’t get over David’s cheating. Her mom says to just concentrate on her own life and nothing else. The subliminal message is clearly, Get off the damn reality show. But first, her mom wants Shannon to get a checkup – and not from Dr. Moon or her chiropractor – a real doctor, please.

Over at Peggy’s house she is baking cookies with her kids. Easter is special to Peggy and she credits God for getting her through her double mastectomy. She tells the kids David was too pushy on the boat with his need for information on her cancer. How rude! Diko told her he felt like he was being interrogated by David, and thankfully he didn’t have to explain what that word means. Peggy says she is very Dis-Gus-Did over David’s mock concern and wishes she could have thrown him off the boat. Shannon probably wishes that too.

Over at Lydia and Doug’s house, the family is painting eggs and eating Jesus cookies made by Grandma Judy for Christmas. Uh-oh kids, don’t eat the bunny brownies, okay? Those have the special sprinkles. Anyway, it’s Easter and Judy is just being her goofy self. But don’t forget the crowns. What would Easter be without crowns? Or Groundhogs Day or Martin Luther King Day?

Over at Shannon and David’s house, the tension is thick. Shannon’s mom asks about Sophie and her driving lessons and this brings up their near-death memories. Shannon shares a funny story about her first time driving and shattering a glass crown bulb at a gas station when she bumped into it. David tells Shannon that’s what happens when you don’t take the silver spoon out of your mouth. Really David? Is that what’s going on with your daughters? David asks Shannon if their kids appreciate their lifestyle, but how can they when it’s all they know? David is a downer rolled up in a wet blanket dipped in barrel of sap.

Over at Vicki’s they are getting ready to celebrate Briana’s birthday. Vicki shares with Steve that she longs to talk with Tamra. Vicki admits that Ricky shouldn’t have been at her party after all. And she thinks (correctly) that Shannon is the wedge between her and Tamra. Steve concurs there are too many people meddling in her friendship with Tamra, and encourages the  one-on-one meeting.  

We shift to Cut Fitness where Tamra and Lydia are working out. Lydia announces that Doug’s balls are beautiful. Who cares! Then they discuss Vicki. Lydia blames Tamra’s rash on the stress over losing Vicki’s friendship. Or maybe Eddie gave it to her, who knows, the point is, it’s time to clear things up. And speak of the devil, Vicki calls Tamra just then and asks if they can meet later. Tamra thinks and thinks and thinks and finally says yes, but says she’ll be a sweaty mess. When is she not?

Tune in next time when Tamra and Vicki finally meet up and are dressed like they’re going out on a first date!

 

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