Well it’s about dang time! This week on the Shahs of Sunset, MJ is finally remodeling her condo. Spoiler alert: it becomes a messy mess. As the workers get started, MJ graces them while only wearing a towel. Consider that your bonus! Her designer Ryan stops by with his vision board. Here’s MJ’s life plan which also needs a vision board: decorate condo, get pregnant, plan a wedding. In that order. Reza stops by to recommend no beige fabric because MJ is a messy bitch.
Next we are with Mike as he tries to sell his shoes to Shoe Palace. Mike’s shoes have a pink sole which just screams manly. The Shoe Palace says if it’s not dope, it’s a nope. Mike brings out the baby shoes and guess what? They are dope! Things are looking up for Mike and his shoe company, though he only has his mommy to share the news with.
Over at Shervin’s place Annalise is packing to return to Australia. Shervin thanks Annalise for never doubting that he never cheated, or something to that effect. MJ stops by wearing lace-up pants and trouble. Before the wine ever touches MJ’s lips, she says to Annalise, “I think he cheated on you.” Oh but don’t worry Shervin, MJ still considers you to be her brother – her rat cheating brother. Annalise reels backwards from this news. MJ wants Annalise to know this before she packs up her life and moves to LA. Annalise says the cheating thing is so irrelevant, it’s laughable. Girl, please! What’s laughable is your ability to turn a blind eye. In his testimonial, Shervin says he’s now thankful to Tara for starting the chaos which has brought him closer to his girlfriend. I hope this blows up in his face.
Across town Mike and Reza are getting a shave. Mike no longer has a beard because he botched it up and now has to learn how to shave. Mike tells Reza he went on a blind date with a Persian rapper and he won’t be doing her again. He’s still struggling to get over his soon to be ex-wife. Then Mike and Reza converse about having sex until they are dead, because gay or not, they are men.
GG is packing to go to New York for the play and Shalom stops by. GG tells him that because he was the voice of reason during Thanksgiving, he is in like Flynn-Stein with her parents. GG gives Shalom the 11th commandments – though shall propose to her, provide a huge diamond, three kids, two Rottweilers, maybe a few horses, and a nanny because she is the MVP – most valuable pussy. Shalom needs to get that it writing.
MJ stops by Reza’s house to slam some Tequila. Turns out Reza has written a play called, “He’s Not Right.” This play was “birthed” from his pain growing up with two religious backgrounds. Reza slams the off-Broadway hit show that GG is doing and says his will be better. Mmm-hmm, right.
GG is now in The Big Apple and stops by the very small theater to rehearse Sex Tips play. GG feels she’s prepared, but right away screws up. She gets it right the second time and devours a banana. Yes, yes, yes! Eat that banana. It should go down smoothly after her BJ lessons.
Next, we are at the Biltmore so MJ can buy her mother Vida filet mignon with a side of bad news. MJ tells her mom about her intentions to get pregnant then get married. Vida says Tommy is not patient enough to be a parent and will put the baby in his backpack and walk away – which is good, if you ask me. Vida insists she knows what’s best for her daughter.
Painting party! On the way to MJ’s house, Reza warns Mike to be nice to MJ. She’s fragile. Shervin shows up with the pizza and Tequila. The painting quickly gets sloppy, a naked body and penis are painted on the wall and paint is also put on the beige couch. Asa wasn’t invited because MJ didn’t want her to be stuck with people she doesn’t like. Of course, we all know Asa wouldn’t have come because of the non-organic paint fumes.
Shervin says he wants to “get real” with his friends. He admits to sleeping around on Annalise. Duh. We all know he’s a cad. Glad Shervin knows it, too. So how many times did he sleep with other women while he’s been with Annalise? A bunch, he says. Shervin apologizes because this has been bothering what little soul he has.
Meanwhile, Vida walks in. She is outraged by the art so the crew gets to work painting. Tommy walks in and is happy to see the room coming together. Vida announces Tommy is not the man for MJ, but Tommy says he is like herpes and there’s no getting rid of him, not even with a strong antibiotic and a scalpel. Vida says for $100K her baby approval can be bought. Vida then rips up the check and this makes MJ cry. Tommy hugs MJ and calls her an emotional nut and suggests she lay off the Tequila. Vida should recognize this is probably her only chance to be a grandmother, but instead she leaves. Tommy points out they aren’t ready to get pregnant just yet. Mike hugs MJ and then Tommy wants to hug her, but MJ goes to her bedroom to cry.
Mike counsels Tommy in the den and Reza counsels MJ in the bedroom. Tommy’s point is that MJ is all over the place right now. MJ’s point is that Tommy should beg to be the father of her baby. Tommy’s point is they aren’t exactly the picture of health and MJ’s point is it’s now or never. Great points!
Reza calls Tommy into the bedroom to settle down his woman. Tommy asks MJ how many shots she’s had. MJ threatens to get pregnant by another man. Oh no she di’ent. MJ says she will never talk to Tommy again. In the kitchen, Tommy cries to Destiney that he doesn’t want to die young like his mom and dad did. MJ comes in to see who Tommy is crying for. The gang sneaks out so they don’t have to watch either A) the demise of a relationship or B) the couple attempt to make a baby. Tommy explains he was a lonely kid and doesn’t want his kid to be lonely. He pours his heart out, but MJ doesn’t listen. She only hears Tommy’s fears and finds this to be a complete turnoff.
MJ tells Tommy she’s going to be an amazing mother, with or without him. Poor Destiney. She didn’t escape in time and is caught in the relational storm. MJ gives Tommy an ultimatum: shit or get off the pot. Tommy leaves, opting out of both offers.
Tune in next time when Mike signs his divorce papers and GG loses it with Shalom.
I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.