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RECAP: ‘Little Women: Couples Retreat’ Tensions Explode When Andrea Confronts Chris!

I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.

Welcome back to the Little Women Couples Retreat — the group is headed out for another adventure. They take a ferry to a private island to have fun in the sun. Unfortunately, Andrea woke up in a bad mood and she’s taking it out on Chris. Some of the girls are going jet-skiing with their men, but Andrea’s not sure if she wants to go anywhere with Chris. So when Chris asks what’s up, this triggers a huge fight. Not wanting to be a loser like Matt, Chris apologizes to the group before stomping off.

Tonya tries to help Andrea, but she can’t, so she asks twin Amber to help and she’s like, Hey, she’s above my pay grade and this ain’t some sister’s retreat. Good point.

The men folk gather to tell Chris this is just how women can be. Everyone has their little arguments and their little fights and their little last words. Kerwin is like, Let’s have a beer or two or three and this whole thing will blow over like a bad storm.

Briana interrupts the women to say it’s time to go jet-skiing. Everyone gathers together, but Chris grabs his fishing pole and walks off in a different direction. It’s supposed to be a free day, but Hasani will definitely be required to work.

Amanda and Jordan are trying to figure how to ride the jet-ski. Will Amanda sit in front of him? Behind him? Will they go fast? Will they go slow? Amanda says they had damn well better go slow or Jordan’s going to pay for it later. Todd is hilarious just trying to get on the damn thing. He smartly decides this ride isn’t for them and Christy says, See ya! And takes off without him. Jasmine and David make a sharp turn and they both soar off their jet-skis. Lifeguards come to their rescue and they are brought safely back to the shore.

Back at the villas, Hasani has received an emergency call from Chris and has stopped by to counsel them. Andrea admits that the fight was her fault because she woke up in a bad mood. Hasani asks why and Andrea has no answer so she turns on the waterworks. Finally Andrea says she has anger, stress, and overthinks. She’s been worrying and their families who don’t get along. Turns out Andrea’s dad had to step up and help out with her kid when Chris walked out. The two get into a yelling match and Andrea is the winner. Lordy. She gets up in his face and screams in his ear, accusing Chris of cheating. Hasani has to tell Andrea to sit her ass down.

Hasani questions Chris if he’s been unfaithful. The answer is yes. If fact, the answer is, when hasn’t Chris been unfaithful. Hasani is surprised to learn these two have never dealt with their infidelities and explains they aren’t smart enough to deal with this on their own. Chris wants to fix it and Andrea wants to give up. Chris then blames Andrea for her bad attitude and not being able to handle his cheating ass. Chris walks about – like he always does. Hasani explains that they love each other, but they don’t know how to love each other.


OMG! You guys are not going to believe this but I got that exact message in a fortune cookie last week. That’s amazing. Anyway, Hasani lures Chris back into the room and gives the couple a homework assignment. First they must reflect on why they got together (after a night of heavy drinking), why they came to couples retreat (for the money) and they must engage in a healing conversation. (Like, what is that?)

Next, is a Vejigante party with people on stilts and huge heads. Freaky stuff. Kind of like Mardi Gras or Carnival. Everyone is there but Chris and Andrea. They are in time out. This festival is to scare off the evil demons of anger, rage, and sadness. Christy is hopeful tonight is the night she will repair things with Briana. WTF, Christy? Briana isn’t here to work on her friendships. She’s here to show the world Matt is a douche bag work on her marriage.

Hasani says tonight is about facing your past. They must write down every fault they have and then place it in the little person coffin. They’re going to need lots of paper. The couples take turns placing their lists in the pine box, then they will burn it in the fire pit, and the demons will be cast out of them forever. It’s just that simple.

Back at the villa, Andrea and Chris aren’t doing their homework. And when they try to talk they get into an argument that goes like this. “What do you want to do? I don’t know. What do you want to do? I don’t know. What do you want to do?” And on and on. Then they start talking at the same time, then neither of them are talking.

Back with the group, they gather around the coffin and call out their fears. Here are a few: Amanda: overthinking. Tonya: unforgiving. Jazmine: losing my family. David: new challenges. Matt: aggression. Briana: fear of approval. Christy: being controlling. Todd: fear of change.

Everyone says a weight has been lifted. Hasani explains that fire represents purification, so they burn the lists. Their homework is to mingle, celebrate and enjoy the evening. Christy and Briana sit together and chat. Christy apologizes for being overprotective of Briana and trying to control her. Briana wants Christy to have trust in her to find her own way. They both agree that what happens in Puerto Rico doesn’t stay in Puerto Rico. Not even their bad attitudes.

Tonya is chatting with Amber and Jazmine and confesses that she should have called out, trust, instead of, unforgiving. Amber asks Tonya if she’d marry someone she doesn’t trust. This should be a quick, no, but Tonya hesitates and says she doesn’t know. Tonya say she hasn’t given up yet, but the retreat is nearing an end, and she’s not sure what she’ll do about Kerwin. Here’s another message from my fortune cookie: when in doubt, don’t.

Tune in next week when Hasani gets real with Tonya and Kerwin, and Matt tries to be a hero.

 

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