#RHOC Recap: Monster Mom Tamra Judge Attacks Peggy Sulahian For Her Resting Bitch Face!

Hello from Hurricane Harvey Headquarters! I haven’t floated away just yet, so let’s talk about The Real Housewives of Orange County. I mean, they are so much more fascinating than some historic flood, am I right?! We begin with snap shots of ladies working out separately, even Shannon, who’s with her condescending chiropractor. Eddie is coaching Tamra and she’s grumpy. Tamra tells Eddie that Peggy came at her with her shitty resting face at the magazine launch party. Eddie he wants a nicer wife to solve the problem, but Tamra just wants to bitch out it.

Up next, Peggy and Shannon meet for vodka sodas at a beach cafe. Shannon tells Peggy how upset Tamra was in the limo after the party and Peggy asks if they are in second grade. Why can’t Tamra ask her about this? Shady Shannon urges Peggy not to trust Vicki because she’s been known to betray. But Peggy doesn’t take the bait and explains Vicki has been nothing but kind and caring with her. She tells Shannon how Vicki was the only one in the group that offered support amid her reconstructive surgery from the double mastectomy. 

Shannon plays 21 questions about Peggy’s breasts and the negative BRCA 1 test. So did Peggy have cancer? Signs point to no, says the Magic 8 Ball, but it’s not Shannon’s business, now is it? Shannon smugly tells Peggy that Vicki probably needs someone to talk to after the #cancergate scandal with Brooks. But Peggy is firm in her convictions! She sees right through Shannon’s mind games to sway her from befriending the OG of the OC. Shannon tells Peggy if she wants to play the peacemaker, go ahead, just don’t call wife-beating criminal David.

We are now hanging poolside with Vicki, Briana and the grandkids for their swimming lesson. Vicki tells Briana about the Nobleman launch party and how she is disgusted by Tamra and Shannon’s childish behavior. Vicki goes in depth about the bible and mediation and the hurtful people. But Briana thinks Fireball shots with everyone will remedy the situation.

Meghan is getting back into modeling because she needs a storyline something more in life than a demanding baby she struggled to conceive. And why not since Jimmy is too busy to show up. But the sparkly black and white ensemble looks pretty.

Across town, Diko and Peggy are having lunch. Diko is commanded to do the “butterfly” for the waitress. Diko asks Peggy about her lunch with Shannon and learns that Tamra is mad. Peggy doesn’t mind Tamra having an issue, but doesn’t wants to hear about it from Shannon, who is in right field. Or center field. Not sure which field, but we know Eddie’s the catcher. Either way, Diko wants Peggy to work things out with Tamra.

Kelly and Vicky are meeting up to use an aura machine. Three words: people from California. But what the hell, let’s give it a try. The aura machine says Kelly is not comfortable speaking form her heart. The machine reveals Vicki has good energy. Wow — this machine really does work! Kelly announces she’s going to a St. Patrick’s Day party with Meghan and Shannon. Vicki doesn’t like this one bit. She warns Kelly about drinking with the heavy devil Shannon. 

Shannon and David are dining at a steakhouse with Tamra and Eddie. Shannon announces she’s lost four pounds – so why not indulge in the lobster and butter? She’s earned it. Shannon tells Tamra about her lunch with Peggy and how she doesn’t have the cancer gene, but got her boobs removed because her mother died from breast cancer. Tamra sort of feels bad now – but only for a second. And for dessert, Shannon emasculates David. Good times.

Later, Tamra meets up with Peggy to sort things out. Apparently Lydia told Tamra that Peggy is in pain, so Tamra is trying to melt her tiny heart just a bit. Peggy doesn’t understand why all the drama. After Peggy tells Tamra she was being dramatic, Tamra tells Peggy she has resting bitch face. Or is it bitchy resting face? Anyway, it seems like Peggy isn’t as insulted as most of would be. Once again Peggy is told it’s not a good idea to be the peacemaker.

Lydia and Doug are doing the Spartan race and Lydia is having second thoughts and passing on her nervous energy on to her precious son who thinks Mommy will die during this race by fire and crocodiles. Not to worry, Grandma Judy is babysitting and she will sprinkle some fairy dust and make everything all better.

So Tamra, Eddie, David, Lydia and Doug are ready for the military styled obstacle course/race. And they’re off! Doug is killing it. While jogging, Lydia says it’s like super weird that like Shannon’s not there. Like, how could she miss this? Like support her husband. Hello, McFly, Shannon actually could die. Everyone completes the race and makes out, except for poor David who has no one to kiss – even if Shannon was there.

Top of the afternoon, ladies! Meghan, Shannon, and Kelly, and Meghan’s nanny are in their best greens. Shannon is wearing her same old green sequenced shirt that should have been doused in Irish whiskey and burned last season. Kelly is rocking a green dress while Meghan has rainbow artwork around her eyes. Hey, let’s take some shots of scotch straight from the bottle because these are some classy ladies!

Kelly tells Shannon that Vicki thinks Tamra gets in her ear and brainwashes her. Then Shannon tells Kelly she thinks Vicki gets in her ear and brainwashes her. Shannon brings up for the nth time that it’s all Vicki’s fault she kept eating and eating. So Kelly brings up Shannon’s 70’s party and the huge fight they got into. Remember the Mrs. Roper slam? Priceless! And you would think this would turn into an all-out brawl, but the ladies are crying and apologizing — so with a little luck of the Irish and a lot of alcohol, all is good with Kelly and Shannon!   

Tune in next week to see the women to dress like men, Kelly go for the jugular, and if I have floated away. Take care everyone!

 

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