Spooky times await us on The Real Housewives of Dallas. Stephanie is throwing the best Halloween party ever. Why? Because she’s pissed at Travis for spending millions of dollars on a house she didn’t want, so she’s spending $15K on a party. It’s Stephanie’s special way of saying FU to her husband. The theme of the Halloween party is Bad Romance. Sounds about right.
Over at Cary’s house she is baking cookies with her adorable daughter who is the biscuit and Cary is the gravy. And Mark is the sticky jelly that you can’t wipe away.
Court and Kameron are going to an authentic Mexican restaurant – like that’s a big deal in Texas. But it’s an opportunity for her daughter, Hilton, to practice her Spanish. Kameron gets like totally bummed, y’all, when she learns her husband can’t attend Stephanie’s Halloween party. She will have to go as a princess without her prince. Then, Court informs Kameron to find other investors for her pink dog food because he doesn’t have time for this nonsense. Como sey dise, unsupportive jerk?
Back at Cary’s house, Mark comes home disappointed that he has to fetch his own glass of wine and his dinner isn’t on the table. Then he complains about the amount of time Cary spends with THEIR daughter. And then Mark, the doctor, gets grossed out when Cary and her daughter reenact the infamous spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp – which is also applicable to this couple.
Brandi is meeting up with LeeAnne for shrimp and grits, y’all. And to formulate a game plan for Stephanie’s Halloween party. These two are shocked to be invited (really?) and hesitant about going. LeeAnne says Stephanie is being two-faced, which gives her an idea about a costume. Neither of the ladies have replied to the RSVP but Brandi will be meeting with her ex-friend Stephanie the following day. LeeAnne says she’s is not ready to forgive Stephanie, but she’s okay with Brandi and Stephanie resuming their friendship provided Stephanie begs for forgiveness.
D’Andra is in the kitchen cooking with her hunky husband Jeremy. We learn that Jeremy is like an octopus when it comes to PDA which is typically shunned in the Big D. His son, Keatin, is doing what a lot of millennials are doing – moving back in with the folks. Keatin is currently “looking for a job” and isn’t sure about that whole college education thing. D’Andra has a great job for him, selling her expensive crap on Ebay. Father and son agree that when it comes to nagging, D’Andra is the best.
It’s now time for the conversation between Brandi and Stephanie. They hug and then begin to talk like they’re in a library. I guess real ladies whisper their insults. Brandi discusses with Stephanie the pettiness and dismissiveness of her actions, specifically the comment about her marriage being a slow car crash. Stephanie says that comment wasn’t rude, it was true, so that makes it okay. Besides Brandi should have called then, it was so five months ago. And since Brandi threw Stephanie away like a piece of trash, she had no choice but to become allies with Cary. Just like Brandi has done with LeeAnne. Brandi then informs Stephanie she suffered a miscarriage and it’s her fault she really needed her support. The women hug again and promise this will be their first fight (I doubt that) and last fight (I doubt that, too).
We are in D’Andra’s closet going over the designer clothes. Keatin can’t believe how much money his stepmommy spends on her clothes. Keatin doesn’t understand how D’Andra can spend this kind of money when his dad is so cheap. D’Andra explains it’s her damn money during their “sexy time” that she makes things all better. Keatin is sufficiently disgusted, but hey y’all, maybe he’ll fly out of the nest.
Onto my favorite place to be – with LeeAnne and her therapist. The concern today is the Halloween party she must attend and the fact that Stephanie and Brandi made up so fast. How will LeeAnne handle herself? By dressing up as Two-Faced Stephanie and offen the host in her own home. The therapist tells LeeAnne this isn’t a good idea because tacky and alcohol don’t mix. But we all know LeeAnne will do it anyway.
D’Andra and Jeremy are also working on their Halloween costume. They will be attending as Monica Lewinsky and President Clinton because they are the baddest of the bad romances. D’Andra tells Jeremy that Keatin is a slacker because her dresses worth thousands of dollars aren’t sold yet. Donate them, D’Andra. There are lot of people in Houston right now who need dry gowns. Instead, Jeremy encourages D’Andra to be patient with Keatin and have sexual relations with him now.
Cary and Mark are shooting their online promotion and Cary doesn’t want to be there. Guess what? Neither do we. Things get uncomfortable when Mark shames Cary for wanting to do yoga over working with him. Cary says, her life is great. Really it is. She LOVES always being with her husband. Just loves it. Then they argue over who needs a Botox brow lift and who doesn’t. Good times. I’m sure people will flock to his practice.
It’s party time and the place is hopping. Cary is literally a painted Tiger and Mark is the ringmaster. Mmm-hmm. Brandi and Brian are very cool skeletons. And Kameron is an unimaginative pink princess. LeeAnne arrives and looks like Cruella Deville, which is what she should tell people. Certainly not Two-Faced Stephanie, in Stephanie’s own home. Ex-housewife Tiffany is there, dressed as a cop. Wonder if she’s still married to Keith SubUrban. But So far everyone is getting along.
Oops. Spoke too soon. Brandi insults Kameron when she tells her she should be in a beauty pageant, but the kind that doesn’t require talent. Mark figures out that LeeAnne is dressed as Stephanie because of her $75K bracelet and so does Travis. He tells Stephanie he wants to throw LeeAnne out but Stephanie says to ignore her. Well played, Two-Face.
LeeAnne says she still has issues with Stephanie because she confuses her. Stephanie says she still has issues with LeeAnne because she scares her. LeeAnne and Brandi go outside so she can remind her about how mean Stephanie was to her. D’Andra tells Stephanie if she had known LeeAnne was dressing like that, she would have told her not to, but it wouldn’t have made a difference.
Tune in next week when Travis informs Stephanie that since he is the one making the money, he is the one making the decisions.