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RECAP: Bethenny Frankel Breaks Down Over Her Divorce & Luann Defends Her Marriage On #RHONY Reunion!

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The Real Housewives of New York reunion continued last night — and Bravo editors slowed down the post-season ride to a sleepy crawl. 

It’s A Wrap — Luann Defends Her Marriage

Luann and Tom’s relationship remains under the microscope, as the episode kicks off. Ramona is accused of dangling Messy Missy within Tom’s grope, and Luann blames her hubby’s clunky comments on camera unease. The couple loves their common interests, but Bethenny isn’t buying Lu’s definition of a solid marriage. Bethenny follows her buttinski judgement by blasting her co-star for being “pretentious,” aka more comfortable in her skin than she will probably ever be. The ladies offer their forced congratulations to the not-so-happy couple, and secretly take bets on when the split will be announced.    

Tanked Tinsley

Tinsley’s rookie season is rewound — bouncing from her infamous mug shot, over to Sonja’s place, and finally landing on Scott’s lips. Tinsley came back to NYC to get her reality back, and immediately found a pal in Carole. Tinsley loves her hotel home, but is excited to shack up with Scott this fall. She admits that she was once a lost mess, but notes that her signature curls  remained unscathed. Tinsley spills that she was physically and emotionally abused by her ex, and that she used 24/7 booze to get over the hump. The cast votes Tinsley the most impressive lush of the bunch, but Tinsley assures them that she doesn’t guzzle her breakfast anymore.   

Carole’s Loop

Carole’s rabid election obsession is addressed next. Carole shudders at the flashback, and re-reminds us all that she is more “informed” than anyone in the universe. Her shack-up with Adam is remembered, and the slow death of their snoozy organic romance is debated. Carole likes being free, and doesn’t care if Adam throws herbs at someone else. A viewer busts Carole for being politically condescending, and Carole objects, rattling off her expired resume. The cast shares their brushes with big-shot politicians, and all of the Trump supporters plead the fifth. Tinsley didn’t bother to vote, and a mortified Carole wonders how she ever linked up with such a lazy loser. 

Sonya’s Choice

The cast debates Sonja’s love life, and Frenchie, aka Edgar, and Rocco are put through the wringer. Sonja shares that she picked up Edgar at a coat check, before he decided to move into her bed permanently. Luann and Dorinda accuse Edgar of being an actor, hired to portray a French  couch-flopper. Sonja says no way, because his sweaters are legit, and he wants to put a ring on it. Tinsley cosigns, noting their high-volume sex sessions. Ramona doesn’t care if he’s the real deal or not, because he’s pretty darned hot. Sonja points out that his laundered boxers and boxed toothbrush say it all. Sonja has traveled with Edgar and even met his family, but is keeping Rocco nearby for old age. Sonja’s breasts keep trying to get a word in edgewise, the girls clearly Team Rocco.   

Skinny Hell

Bethenny’s divorce drama hit new heights this season. Jason’s crazy has sucked the hope right out of her, making her frenetic life a torture chamber. In other news, Bethenny dumped Dennis and scooped him right back up, after lots of therapy. She admits that she has a hard time with intimacy, but  bizarrely forced Dennis to change, before allowing him to knock on her shell again. Bethenny endured major “torment,” but is now imperceptibly happy, nice, and free. Ramona tries to empathize and support, but Bethenny coldly shuts her down, killing that “happy/nice” part. Bravo reruns her “gotta go” moments, and highlights her ex’s stalking record. Bethenny spills that she hemorrhaged $3 mil in legal fees, as Andy holds his breath, and tiptoes into Bryn territory. Bethenny resists knocking her co-host’s lights out, declaring that Bryn is clueless, and will be over it by the time she can hit Google. Bethenny reveals that her mother blew her big chance with her granddaughter, by prematurely dishing to the press. Jason is labeled “obsessed” — a diabolical, Skinnygirl devouring monster. Bethenny dreams of sweet freedom one day, especially from Ramona’s nervy interjections.

We wave goodbye to RHONY next week — don’t miss it!

 

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