Hey y’all, we are back with another episode of The Real Housewives of Dallas — where yet again the dogs steal the show. It’s a real bitch fest! First we begin with Cary and her husband Mark, who is complaining about the maid mismatching his socks. Oh the horror! Before running off to work like her husband, Cary spends a few seconds of quality time with her daughter.
Next, we check in with Kameron who is CEO of her home. She was able to get, Romi, the most sought after Spanish teacher in all of Dallas because people of Dallas employ lots of Hispanics value a good education. Plus it’s to let us know they will be traveling to Cabo soon.
Stephanie and LeeAnne have something in common, y’all. Being on this show causes them to require therapy. Though technically Stephanie is consulting a “life coach” after her fall out with Brandi. Stephanie and Travis are contemplating a move closer to Dallas, so there’s that to deal with. Also, Stephanie shares her feelings of rejection from Brandi. The two were asked to judge a dog contest pre-blowout, so there’s that to prepare for as well.
Across town, Brandi is meeting Cary for lunch which feels contrived. Brandi is apprehensive because Cary is Stephanie’s new ride-or-die. They stick to safe subjects at first like Cary’s husband being named a finalist in some Dallas fashion competition. Cary invites Brandi, but she declines after learning Stephanie may or may not be there. Brandi then apologizes for walking out of Mark’s party due to Stephanie’s jealousy. Brandi shows Cary the text from Stephanie about LeeAnne being “up to her old tricks.” Cary denies saying this. Cary did tell Stephanie about the walk and how LeeAnne was inserting herself into Brandi and Stephanie’s business. Brandi warns Cary this will happen again with Stephanie. She’s not as sweet as she claims to be. What? Say it ain’t so!
Up next, we are with D’Andra as she meets with the manufacturer who handles the cosmetic line of her mother’s empire. D’Andra is ready to make a new elixir product that can lift as well as moisturize, but she has to get Mummy’s approval first. Say what you want about the pettiness of the RHOD cast, these women have the best skin.
Stephanie and Travis are viewing a potential new house for their family. It’s a mausoleum and definitely not child proof, but everyone should have a pool in their living room, right? Ahh the smell of chlorine in the morning. You can tell Travis really loves the house when he sees the toilet that is capable of self-stimulation. Included in the 8.2 million dollar price tag is a fabulous black swan in the park-like backyard that lacks all privacy. The home will be on auction so Travis thinks he can get a good deal, but Stephanie isn’t feeling it.
We are with Cary and Mark as they learn if Mark will be named Culturemap Stylemaker of the year. Wow, I’m on pins and needles. Stephanie and Travis are there and so is D’Andra. Cary insults an entire country when she insists Mark is not gay, he’s just European.
Back with Kameron, she is helping the children pack their toys for Cabo. She is so proud. Her kids already respond to “game play” or as regular folks call it, bribery. Court comes home to hear Kameron whine about missing the dog costume contest and the opportunity to pitch her pink dog food. Court tells his wife to get over this dog food idea. Kameron is like, totally bummed, y’all. This could be a multi-billion dollar business, or a health hazard, but show your wife some support.
Back at the Culturemap event, we learn Mark is not the winner. An Italian man named Guillermo has won the never heard of trophy. Cary says she will give Mark his own prize tonight. D’Andra says her goodbyes and Cary tells Stephanie about her lunchie-poo with Brandi. And the text. Sigh. Cary explains she’s getting mixed signals. Stephanie explains she sent the text to protect Brandi, but now it’s blown up in her face. Cary freaks out about being put in the middle of this non-issue.
Over at D’Andra’s house, her mother Dee stops by for a visit/meeting. D’Andra informs her mom about their outdated labels and that she no longer wants to sell their products exclusively on Christian TV. It’s time to rebrand. Dee tells her daughter to wait a cotton-picking moment. D’Andra doesn’t understand this tricky thing called finances. Dee says no to a marketing budget and D’Andra says fine, and stomps off, which is how all professionals do it in Dallas.
Stephanie is cooking dinner and Travis comes home with a bottle of Champagne. Uh-oh! Turns out, they are the new owners of the house Stephanie didn’t want for a mere 8.9 million. OMG Travis! You’re supposed to bid under, not over. But whatev, pop the cork. Stephanie says owning a home like this is not her dream. Things get tense and they send the boys out of the room. Travis tells Stephanie to get that constipated look off her face, but she can’t. Stephanie wants to flip it and buy something else. Good luck with that. Just fill the pool in and make it a dance floor.
It’s time for the doggy costume contest! Not only is LeeAnne’s dog dressing up like a hot dog, she’s dressing up like one, too. That doesn’t look ridiculous at all. Cary, Brandi, D’Andra, and LeeAnne meet up and discuss the dreaded text. Stephanie is nervous walking up to the ladies bad-mouthing her, and she should be, it’s suddenly very cold outside. But alas, it’s time to judge – the dogs. Brandi and Stephanie announce the wieners! It’s Where’s Waldo who lives up to his name.
So back to this boring text thing. LeeAnne tells Stephanie to wipe the smirk off her face, please. Stephanie tells LeeAnne she scares her because of her manipulative ways. LeeAnne fires back “look in the mirror, bitch.” Stephanie says she doesn’t want Brandi to get hurt by LeeAnne, but she apologizes anyway. D’Andra tells Stephanie and Brandi they need to mend fences, drink some Jesus juice, and wipe the slate clean. Thank you voice of reason. Stephanie chokes back tears and tells Brandi their kids miss each other. It works! Brandi sniffs a couple times and agrees to meet up later.
Tune in next time to see if two-faced LeeAnne gets kicked out of Stephanie’s Halloween party by Travis.
I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.