Oy vey, we are still in Israel with the Shahs of Sunset! Sunday’s episode begins with GG contemplating praying at the Wailing Wall with the group; but decides not to participate because of the segregated history of the wall/land. When the guys emerge from their side, GG tells them that a local jew was following her, calling her “jihad,” and she wants to leave. But the other ladies aren’t done seeking enlightenment.
MJ is at the wall and wants to ask for a baby, but feels like it’s not right because other people are asking for things like a kidney transplant or their cancer to be cured. MJ, Asa, and Destiney emerge as new women so moved by their experience – until MJ asks if Shervin prayed for a bigger dick like Mike. That’s MJ for you. Always putting the fun in dysfunction.
Onto shopping! GG can’t stop thinking about her boyfriend, Shalom, because she sees and hears his name everywhere. It’s like having the name, “Hey, y’all,” and visiting the south. GG confides to Reza she’d like to have a baby with her Jewish boyfriend and will that be a problem since she’s Muslim? Meanwhile, these two have been dating all of two months. Reza is like…Hell to the yes, it’s a problem. He was rejected by half of his family. GG doesn’t want that for her child. Mike is feeling like he was lost, but now he’s found, standing in the warm light of love. Too bad he didn’t go to Israel prior to getting married.
Back at the hotel in Tel Aviv, the group is pigging out. Oops. Gorging on food before the tattoo artist comes over so GG can put her boyfriend’s name on her torso. GG, can’t you just buy a spoon rest with his name of it? No, she can’t. GG says the tattoo feels like her vagina is getting stabbed – and she should know! Hope this declaration of love doesn’t freak Shalom out.
Reza, Shervin, Mike and MJ bail on the ink art and go out to get their drinks on and trash talk GG behind her back. MJ says once again that tonight is her last time getting smashed before she gets pregnant. Reza wants to plan a wedding first for MJ that way she won’t have a bastard child like Asa. But MJ has no plans to marry Tommy until the pee stick is positive for a pregnancy. So why won’t MJ marry her boyfriend first? He smokes, eats hard candy at midnight, and is a Mets fan. Somehow he’s baby daddy material, but not husband material.
The gang strolls in at three in the morning and gives GG a surprise wake-attack so they can see the tattoo. MJ accidentally on purpose flashes her boobs. GG calls Shalom and shows him her new tattoo. He says, “Oh, my f*cking God.” Not the response GG was looking for, I’m sure. Shalom shakes his head and asks the groups what is wrong with them. Thank you! Shalom gets it. What is wrong with them?
It’s a new day and the group is off to the Dead Sea, a 90 minute bus trip filled with plenty drinking and bathroom stops. People come near and far to get in this salt water because of its magical medicinal benefits. Reza tells Asa how they shut down MJ the night before because she too wants a bastard child. Over lunch, Asa tells MJ she’s tired of her taking jabs and calling her beautiful child a bastard. MJ says she’s an open book and Asa is a closed book with a lock on it. Asa cracks open her book and tells the group years ago she froze her eggs. Jaws drop because there’s been all this talk about her pregnancy being a “miracle.”
So here’s the thing, MJ says that when she froze her eggs a few seasons ago, Asa asked her about the experience, however she didn’t share the fact that she too had frozen her eggs. Asa tells MJ she didn’t tell her because she doesn’t trust her. Asa explains she froze 7 male embryos and didn’t wind up using them because she is blessed. So I’m confused. Did Asa get pregnant with medical help or not? Mike and GG both feel that something smells fishy, and it’s not the Dead Sea.
Let the healing begin! Everyone gets in the water and rubs mud all over their bodies, except Asa—no shock there. Due to the high salt content in the water, 10 times saltier than any other body of water, you don’t need floaties. GG is having a Zen moment floating in the sea until the salt gets under the bandage of her tattoo, making her scream in pain. Was that God telling her she shouldn’t have gotten the tattoo?
Back at the hotel, Asa is getting a massage because she’s very upset that her friends risked her mental health and accused her of being a liar while she’s pregnant. In the other room, MJ calls her boyfriend Tommy who is visiting her father in the hospital. After the call she is very distraught. MJ goes into the shower to cry. Mike tells MJ what a lucky girl she is to have Tommy in her life and he’d like to see her get married, start her family, and move on with her life so her father can die in peace. Mike thinks he’s only hanging on because he wants to know his daughter is going to be okay.
It’s the last night of the trip. The group is dining at a couple’s residential home/restaurant that dignitaries and Anthony Bourdain has dined at. MJ makes a toast in honor of her boyfriend/future baby daddy. Mike tells her to put a ring on it or she will lose Tommy. MJ starts crying and Asa thinks it’s just MJ being manipulative with her tears.
But wait! Asa has an announcement to make. At first she wasn’t going to share the news because they called her a liar. But since she’s trying to be less of a locked book, she has decided to share the sex of her baby. It’s a boy! MJ thinks Asa is the manipulative one because Asa just happened to freeze seven male embryos and is now pregnant with a male. MJ thinks this may not be the “miracle” baby she is claiming. Mazel tov anyway!
Reza wants to make a toast, but starts to cry and you can barely understand him. He says that he has a lot of respect and love for his Jewish side of the family. Reza thanks Mike for sharing his family with him and thanks his friends for sharing this experience with him.
L’chaim everyone! Tune in next week when MJ and Tommy try to make a baby back in America.
I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.