#RHOC Recap: Megan Brings Tamra/Shannon and Vicki Face-to-Face At Her Messy Sip-N-See For Baby Aspen!

The good news with this episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County is there are no smack down, drag out fights. The bad news with this week’s episode is there are no smack down, drag out fights. We begin with Vicki and her boyfriend Steve taking care of the grandkids, who are a major handful, but Steve and Vicki handle it like wine pros. Vicki claims she can now spot a bad boy a mile away and has Brooks to thank for that. Vicki is hopeful the other ladies will see the positive changes she’s made at the Sip and See, but spoiler alert, they don’t.

Over at Meghan’s house she is planning the Sip and See with her cousin/nanny/object of Jimmy’s attention, filling her in on her history with Vicki. Remember the time Meghan said she loved her stepchildren like they were her own and Vicki called her out on that? Good times. Meghan calls Vicki to give her a “formal” verbal invite to the Sip and See. Vicki promises not to throw wine on Tamra and Shannon because they are not worth wasting wine on.

Peggy and Diko are hanging out together, drinking beer, discussing their Lambo party. Say what you want about these two, but they enjoy spending time together almost as much as they like getting clichés wrong. Peggy explains she pinched Meghan’s lips together to get her to stop talking about the dead horse. Diko warns Peggy she could get on the naughty list and get coal in her stocking, not cold. Peggy receives a phone call from Meghan, and like an omen, Peggy’s phone vibrates off the table, shattering the screen. Peggy asks Meghan if her ears were ringing, instead of burning. Peggy learns she’s invited to the Sip and See and advises Meghan to rotate Aspen so there is no fighting amongst the ladies, instead of pass the baby around.

Onto Lydia and Doug who are checking out the digs for the magazine no one will ever read launch party. The vision for the event is liquid nitrogen ice cream and a barber station for shaves and hot towels. Okay, isn’t that a health code violation? What if someone’s leg or facial stubble gets in my foie gras? What then? Lydia is nervous about inviting the ladies, but she has many things to be worried about.

Shannon and Tamra are shopping for the Sip and See and are confused as to what to buy baby Aspen since they already purchased a baby shower gift for her. More clothes! Shannon says she isn’t nervous about seeing Kelly even though the two never met up to hash out their differences ahead of time like planned. I’m not sure if I believe Shannon’s not nervous or if she’s just given up on life.

Elsewhere, Vicki and Kelly are also shopping for a baby gift, but that gets derailed when Kelly’s gag reflexes kick in after she smells baby poop. And if Kelly blows so will Vicki. Speaking of vomit, Kelly tells Vicki about her apology to Tamra. Vicki warns Kelly that Tamra will try to spew over their friendship, just you wait.

Back with Tamra and Shannon, Tamra tells Shannon her Hello is creepy. How about just say, How are you, even though you don’t give a damn. Shannon says she’s done reacting to Kelly, but Shannon is always saying she’s done with something (except David).

Back with Vicki and Kelly, Vicki asks about her hoo-haw. Ugh. Why? So here is the update, please don’t kill the messenger: her vajayjay was crusty, itchy and on fire for the first day. Now my gag reflexes are kicking in. Kelly hasn’t had sex yet, with or without another human being, so she doesn’t know if her vajayjay works or not.

Time for the smoothie meetup with Shannon, Kelly and Tamra – thankfully no alcohol will be consumed. Shannon leads with the altercation at The Quiet Woman and tells Kelly she thought she came there to stir things up. Kelly explains she thought that just Lydia and Peggy were going to be there, which isn’t true. Kelly tells Shannon she was taken back by her anger – which Kelly promptly met and raised the anger ante.

Tamra is just sitting there, staying quiet, nodding and smiling. Kelly asks when Tamra and Shannon when are they going to get over Vicki. Shannon explains she’s upset that she let Vicki’s words affect her because, and maybe you haven’t heard this again and again, but Shannon gained all kinds of weight and it’s all Vicki’s fault. But Shannon and Kelly want to move forward and leave the nastiness behind. You know that saying, hope for the best, but prepare for the worst — it applies here.

So it’s time for the Sip and See. Tamra arrives at Shannon’s house and does the long walk of shame down the hallway which is like walking on cobblestone. Then they turn around and do the same long walk of shame out. Vicki goes over to Kelly’s for pregame drinks and to complain about millennials always throwing gift grabbing parties. When Kelly tells Vicki that Shannon blames her for her weight gain, Vicki clucks like a chicken. She is flattered to wield that kind of power over Shannon.

The guests arrive at Meghan’s house and so far no champagne has been tossed. Aspen makes her appearance and is more beautiful than her mother. Outside, Kelly tells Lydia and Peggy about having to explain to Shannon why she was at The Quiet Woman. Lydia admits she probably shouldn’t have invited Kelly. 

Vicki explains they are all damaged and scarred but they must be classy and know where their place is, which is code for, she’s the OG of the OC. In strolls Tamra and Shannon, but they don’t join the other ladies on the patio right away. When they do, Vicki leaves and goes into the kitchen for more wine. Vicki won’t try if they won’t try. And Shannon is too hungry to try and do anything other than put meatballs in her mouth.

Peggy is tired of these women’s pettiness. The ladies take turns posing for pictures in a cutout of Meghan holding the baby. This is the best part of the boring party. So, it’s time to open the gifts and Meghan oohs and ahhs over everything. When Meghan opens Peggy’s gift, Tamra says it’s a Lamborghini – Jimmy wishes. Speaking of Jimmy, he wasn’t there. Never thought I’d miss him. After Meghan thanks everyone for putting aside their differences, Lydia says she has a speech to make. Please don’t. Lydia begins by saying she wasn’t sure if she wanted to invite the ladies or not to her magazine launch party, but she will, if everyone agrees to leave the drama at the door. Here’s hoping they don’t!

When Vicki leaves, only Lydia says goodbye. Let the shade throwing begin. Tamra tells Meghan the reason Vicki talked smack about her family is because she’s an insecure effing bitch. Of course, if you’re husband isn’t gay, you have nothing to worry about. In the limo, Vicki says something inaudible about Shannon, about her weight no doubt, and Kelly says Shannon was wearing a moo-moo. Hello! High-school is back in session.

Shannon waddles into Meghan’s kitchen and still wants to eat, but now that Vicki is gone, she wants to drink, too. Meghan thinks it’s a good idea to set up a meeting with Vicki about her part in #cancergate and everyone’s inability to get past it. Tamra says Vicki is no better than trash stuck on the bottom of her shoe. Each side is claiming to be the victim and accusing the other side of being the bully. 

Tune in next time when Tamra and Peggy square off. Can’t wait to see who wins this one!

 

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