Welcome to the Shahs of Sunset. And let me tell you, these people have issues. But isn’t that why we watch reality shows? To feel better about our lives? Let’s just say, by the end of the season we should all be feeling great about our lives. Here we go! We begin with MJ who is moving in with her boyfriend Tommy to a condo unit which is in need of a ton of remodeling before she can start a family. Family? Hell girl, the kitchen needs to be fixed before you can eat there. Oh, and, something else very special, MJ’s mother, Vida, lives in the complex, too.
Mike has also moved into a new place after his failed marriage to Jessica came crashing to an end when he cheated on her. Mike has mommy issues and talks to his mom 35 times a day. Know this, his mom is quite happy that her son and Jessica are no longer together – though Mike and Jessica do talk on occasion about the dog. Hopefully no harm will come to the dog by an anonymous dog-napper.
Reza and Asa meet up and so she can show him her baby bump. She is five months pregnant and the baby daddy is Jermaine Jackson from that dysfunctional famous musical family. Apparently he is very, very camera shy – when it comes to Asa. Reza is thrilled about her pregnancy, but pissed off the bitch hid it from him. It was easy for Asa because she always wears muumuu’s. Things are still not good between MJ and Asa, though Asa hopes MJ will be happy about the baby.
MJ’s mother comes downstairs to complain about the disarray of their condo. What is she going to do if she has a drink and nowhere to put it? Where are the coffee tables? Here’s how to solve that problem, don’t invite mom over. Tommy agrees and goes off on Vida reminding her they had other things to worry about like MJ’s dad who recently had a stroke. Vida couldn’t care less about her ex-husband and yells that she will never come back if Tommy yells at her. As Vida storms out she mutters in her native tongue that Tommy’s mother’s a whore. Them are fighting words. I’m sure Tommy is soooo glad they moved there.
Up next we are with GG who is trying meditation because she is one angry chick. The theme of the class is forgiveness. GG is like, What’s that? During the break, GG explains she checked into rehab to address her drinking and anger issues and hasn’t talked to the crew in six months because she’s on a path to happiness. Now let’s scream like we’ve just seen a horrific murder being committed and call it a day. Namasay-what?
Asa and her mom are at the OB/Gyn appointment where Asa has declined not only the flu shot but the whooping cough vaccination for herself as well. She’s going to be one of those parents whose kid gives everyone in the class the measles. Asa says she will need to discuss preventive health options with baby daddy. And since baby daddy is vegan, baby will probably be forced to be vegan as well. Coming soon, Asa will create a new song from the baby’s heartbeat.
Reza is thrilled to be married and claims to be having sex all the time with his new husband Adam. Today they are taking a tennis lessons because they have to do something with the film crew. Adam is not a natural. Five minutes into the lesson and he twists his ankle. Reza continues without him and Adam is okay with that because he now has a captive audience to demand a baby. Reza thinks they need to buy a house first before they have a kid. The tennis instructor just wants to get through this lesson.
Mike is over at Shervin’s house with the awesome view for a bro-b-q – which is a bar-b-q for dudes. Mo is there, Reza shows up, a few others, and Mike tells the crew he’s ready to throw a house warming party. Reza tells him straight man can’t throw a parties, which is a pretty bitchy thing to say. Are we sure we have the right name for the bar-b-q? Mike tells Reza that GG is on the guest list and Reza says he won’t be there if she is, so there, and stomps his foot. Mike says, Fine, GG is off the list because he hates drama. For someone who hates drama he sure has a lot of it.
Up next, MJ and Reza are going someplace secret, someplace special. To get an anal bleaching, isn’t that special. Yuck! Why do Bravo shows always gross us out? They discuss GG and both agree they want to wish her the best from as far away as possible. Then Reza, who has as much hair as a dog, gets on the table doggy style, and the woman rips the hair from his ass and balls. Reza is yelling and screaming. Now it’s MJ’s turn and she doesn’t scream like a girl like Reza did.
It’s four hours before Mike’s party. Thankfully Mike followed Reza’s advice and hired a party planner and she’s pretty, so Mike is really feeling it. Just so you know, the women with the lampshades on their head aren’t drunk – they are “walking art.” Mike is confused but along for the ride because the party planner is pretty. MJ is very horny, thrusting and gyrating on every piece of furniture she sees, while her boobs pop out from her onesie. Don’t worry, that’s called “stumbling art.”
Mike reports that he’s met with GG and she no longer looks like a raccoon on drugs. Enough about her, Asa reveals her baby bump. This isn’t sitting will with MJ who is completely jealous and hesitant to give a hug and congratulate Asa. MJ touches the baby bump and pelts Asa with questions like will the baby be a Jehovah’s Witness? Will Asa and Jermaine get married? Will they at least move in together? Asa says no, no, yes. They hug again and it’s creepy.
To stop the crying, MJ drinks whatever the bartender will make fast and does Tequila shots in between. MJ tells Mike she cries all the time over her dad. Mike tells MJ she needs to live for MJ, too, which I feel she’s got that one down. MJ says she doesn’t want a baby anymore, but she’s happy for “what’s her name.”
Asa says two psychics have told her she will have two sons and eventually get married, but doesn’t say to whom. Reza decides it’s time to get MJ out of there before she acts a fool. Outside, MJ confesses to Reza she really wants a baby too, but she nots ready. That’s the most sober thing she’s said. Inside, Mike thanks the pretty party planner and her lampshade girls, and gives a shout out to Asa for being pregnant. Outside, MJ stumbles to the waiting Uber to go home. Reza says their group has all reached a fork in the road and hopefully they won’t all stab each other with it.
Tune in next week to watch MJ drink some more and GG join the gang.