It’s reunion time on Little Women LA! Some of the ladies are dressed classy (Tonya) and some of the ladies are dressed trashy (Briana). We join Kevin Frazier as he tries to moderate this mess once again. Kevin is my favorite host because unlike Andy Cohen, he doesn’t pretend to be friends with any of the women.
A melee of highlights and lowlights of season 6 are shown. Kevin starts with Christy’s controversial midget music video mistake that was used by Terra as retaliation for filing a police report and not signing her book release. Kevin asks Christy if she regrets making the video. Of course she says yes. Christy is still struggling with her vocals and doesn’t say much else. Kevin points out that Elena was the only one who cut Christy some slack for her bad judgment.
Terra jumps in and says she has never ever done anything offensive like Christy in her entire life. Forget about her part in the midget bar fight in Jackass or the movie Midgets Vs. Mascots, that wasn’t supposed to be that way. You see, her contract stipulates you can’t use the word midget. And she stands behind this – probably on a box. Elena says Terra isn’t being honest. This whole show takes advantage of their being little, call it what you want. Bam! And they’re off. Terra and Elena start a yelling match and Kevin just sits there, probably scared he may lose a limb. Elena throws down the Russian card and says she had it worse growing up so STFU. Meanwhile, Christy says nothing, it’s very riveting.
Kevin asks Terra if releasing the video was a moment of sweet revenge. Terra admits she didn’t care if the video went viral because she will always have the police report to claim as her reason for doing anything mean to Christy. Kevin confronts Terra on going to the premier for the movie, Midgets Vs. Mascots, and being all smiles on the red carpet. Joe can be heard from the sidelines yelling that Terra went to the premier to protest the movie’s title – in a sparkly dress. Kevin invites him to quit his yapping from the side and join the others on the couch.
Joe waddles up holding a bobble head of Christy that says catchy phrases like, Midgets need love, too. Kevin asks Joe since Terra has made mistakes in the past, why can’t Christy. Joe plays with his bobble head. Kevin says, Don’t you come out here and act like a clown, boy. The two engage in a verbal smack down of talking over each other. Kevin tells Joe no one’s stopping him from leaving. Joe finally says he doesn’t care what kinds of jobs Christy takes, the problem is she’s a hypocrite. Kevin says that Terra is supposed to be a leader – but not of purgatory. Kevin asks Christy to squeak out a reply. Christy won’t admit to being a hypocrite, but Terra admits it was a nice piece of revenge. Joe grabs his toy and walks off the set.
Next up Kevin goes over this season’s health issues. Tonya’s very real Bell’s Palsy. Briana’s very fake abdominal pains. Terra’s self-inflicted hernias. Christy’s terrifying neck surgery. And Terra’s well-timed cancer scare. Terra says she realized she was pushing herself too hard when she got the second hernia. Elena calls bullshit on this and says Terra was way too addicted to the attention that Dancing With the Stars brought to be concerned with her health. Terra says she would do it all over again, and everyone believes her.
Speaking of bad health, joining us now is Christy’s husband Todd and her daughter Autumn. Todd has lost 70 pounds, but has hit a wall. And can I just say how grown up Autumn looks as she defends her mom. Terra says she will not argue with Autumn and says it’s okay that not everyone gets along – because Terra doesn’t get along with anyone. Elena interrupts to say that Terra will never forgive and never forget. Every chance Elena gets she is going for Terra’s jugular. Terra wants to move forward, but then says she hates Christy. Kevin is shocked and somewhat sickened by this.
Onto Briana-bashing! From her non-modeling career with Maxim, to going behind Terra’s back and poaching her manager, flashbacks are shown of Briana’s whining. Once again, it’s Jasmine to the rescue and Elena has had it with Jasmine being Briana’s mouthpiece. Kevin asks how the Maxim photo shoot came about, but Briana doesn’t really say, she mumbles about something else. Kevin asks Terra if she thinks Briana can make it as a model. That would be a big fat no. Briana gives up way too easily – except with her dog
Mutt Matt. She’s still trying to paper-train him.
Let’s talk about the word “fierce” and who owns it. Just to point out, neither of these books are available right now. Briana’s been working on hers for two years and Terra filmed a book-signing party for hers. Nevertheless, Kevin congratulates Terra on her book and asks how she came up with such a creative title. Terra says she was looking for “F” words to play up her height of 4 foot 2. I can think of a different “F” word, but fierce is what came to Terra’s mind. Terra says not for one millisecond did she care think that her title would bother Briana.
Up next, Briana’s ex-friend Lisa! Finally things are getting good. She joins the ladies and sits far away from Briana. Flashbacks are shown about the texts from Matt hitting on her. Briana says she doesn’t blame her husband for dreaming about Lisa, she blames Lisa for taking that information to Jasmine and Elena. Kevin is like, Woah-Nelly, what about how Matt was hitting on her, doesn’t that bother you? Briana is like, Meh. Kevin tries again, but can’t get through Briana’s head that Matt has a pattern with hitting on women and blaming Briana for it. Let’s bring Matt out, shall we.
Kevin asks Matt point blank if he was hitting on Lisa. Matt says many things, it was six months ago, he was drunk, he can’t remember, the sky is blue, the grass is green, he was distraught because he was fighting with Briana. Jasmine jumps all over this and asks Briana why she lets this loser hurt her again and again. Jasmine tells Matt he is sick and Tonya says so is Briana because she loves everything about his dirty drawers.
So while we’ve got Matt on the stand, let’s continue with his bad behavior in Alaska. Kevin asks Matt why he keeps cheating when he’s so lousy at it because he keeps getting caught. Matt says, Duh, I don’t know. Briana says his behavior is not acceptable and everyone else says yes it is because Briana likes the make-up sex. Elena says they don’t have a healthy relationship and their child doesn’t deserve to be in that mess. Thank you Elena! Terra says there was no way Matt was in this woman’s quarters for three hours talking and they only kissed. Matt suddenly remembers they weren’t in her room for the entire three hours. Just long enough to smoke a joint and make out, give or take an hour.
Since there are two sides to every story, please give a warm welcome all the way from Alaska, Stephania, the woman Matt admitted to kissing…next week. Grr!
So things got off to a slow start, but definitely picked up steam. Tune in next week when we see the mistress blame the misses for Matt’s sociopathic behavior. Won’t that be fun!
I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.