Get a shovel, kids, because we’re about to dig into all the dirt on part one of the Southern Charm reunion. The set is decked out like Patricia Altschul’s house, including that ceramic bowl of fruit in the china cabinet. We’re teased with a peek backstage. While Craig Conover enjoys getting pampered, Shep Rose has been left feeling emasculated by season four of the show. And Kathryn Dennis is ready to ask the hard questions from her cast members.
On set, Craig sits next to Kathryn, who seems sober and clear-headed this reunion. She’s bookended by Shep. A pregnant Cameran Eubanks is parked on the other couch along with Thomas Ravenel, Austen Kroll, and Landon Clements. Shep admits that during his rare sober hours he’s done some sleuthing about Craig’s sex life. (Gross!) Shep doesn’t approve of the fact that Craig could sleep with a woman in a bed and not seal the deal. Craig defends himself by saying he doesn’t sleep with people and then brag to his friends. Suck on that, Shep!
Cameran’s husband was surprised when she turned up pregnant, because it all happened so quickly. She assures us she’s not having a baby to please her husband, but she doesn’t want to look back and regret living a selfish life. And maybe, after the kid is born, she’ll actually bond with it. Here’s hoping.
Craig isn’t embarrassed by his sewing hobby, even though Cameran declares it a lady boner killer. Everyone thinks Craig would make a great lawyer, but Shep is still upset that Craig lied to him last season about taking the bar. Shep assures Craig that they’d still be friends if he knew the truth. However, Shep spends so much time belittling Craig that’s hard to believe.
During the polo match earlier this season, Craig criticized Thomas for ignoring his kids. They traded words over social media. Now, Shep and Cameran pile on by calling Craig a “girl” and a “drama queen.” While Craig is trying to help everyone, even his girlfriend, Naomie, thinks he’s a meddler. She joins the cast and says that Craig asked her out for 3 ½ years. Craig declares that Naomie wouldn’t give him “the light of day.” Oh, dear. Anyway, his ideas of flirting didn’t ping her radar. The arguments between them escalated throughout the season. Naomie takes her fair share of blame for their relationship woes. Craig says that several weeks ago, they hit rock bottom. They’re working on themselves, dating, and falling back in love. They still fight, but they want to be together.
When Andy asks about the advice Kathryn gave to Naomie, about owning her own mistakes, Kathryn says she wishes she and Thomas had kept their relationship private. Too many people whispered in Thomas’s ear, saying Kathryn wasn’t good for him…and Landon was one of those people. Landon disagrees, saying she tried to keep out of Thomas’s relationship, but then she apologizes for saying Kathryn needed electric shock treatments.
Onto newbie, Austen. He insists he’s different from Shep, that cold-hearted, heartbreaker, by being a hopeless romantic. Landon thinks Austen is a nicer, kinder Shep. Thomas claims that he and Shep both suffer from ABC — Aging Bachelor Condition. T-Rav also thinks Austen is gentler, while Shep is more sarcastic. Austen showed that softer side by sharing the death of his sister this season. His parents are proud of him and the way he told the story. It wasn’t an easy decision to be so vulnerable, but Austen’s glad he opened up with Chelsea Meissner. Cameran rooted for Shep to get the girl all season, but she admits that Austen has won her over as she watched him court her buddy, Chelsea. Austen no longer works as a sales rep for the brewery, because he didn’t want to move to Savannah. Now Shep thinks that starting a new beer company together would be a good idea. But if these two butted heads over a girl, think what they’d do over money. Bad idea, boys.
Speaking of Shep and his love of booze, he says he’s no longer drinking every night, but Cameran’s doubtful expression says she doesn’t believe it. Shep admits that Charleston is a big drinking town, and Thomas agrees a lot of day drinking happens. Alcohol is Shep’s best friend, and he’s not ready to give it up. So stop nagging him already! Craig and Kathryn think when Shep gets drunk and yells at everyone, he’s really yelling at himself.
Andy praises Kathryn for keeping her shit together this season. She comments on the rumors saying she’s back on drugs. So not true. According to Kathryn, she’s been sober for eight months. She was upset when her drug test results were leaked last season, and once again, accuses Landon of being the bad guy. Landon claims she read it in the news along with everyone else. Landon doesn’t back down from her claims that Kathryn went to rehab in Malibu to find her next rich victim. Ouch!
When Kathryn ordered a margarita in Key West, she didn’t drink a sip of it. Besides, Kathryn’s biggest issue is marijuana — not alcohol. Thomas agrees, pointing out that he tested higher in alcohol consumption than Kathryn. She now takes a breathalyzer morning and night to prove her sobriety. During the mother/daughter modeling shoot, Kensie had a meltdown when she had to leave Kathryn behind. Kathryn now tears up, crying over her careless past. She doesn’t have a large support system around her. Thomas notes that she’s distrustful — in that she hasn’t earned back his trust, but Kathryn turns it around, confessing that she doesn’t trust anyone. Landon begins to cry, imagining how lonely it must be for Kathryn.
Jennifer Snowden joins the reunion. Baby Ascher is meeting all his milestones. Jennifer and Kathryn were fast friends last season, but now Kathryn is cold as ice toward Jenn. She thinks Jenn values Thomas’s friendship because of the Ravenel name. Kathryn thinks Jenn lied under oath in order to please Thomas. Yet Jennifer claims she told the truth to the court, and when Kathryn tries to shut Jenn down, Jenn states that she’s not under a gag order. And while we’re talking about the truth, Jenn talks about the fact that Kathryn started a rumor about Thomas being the real father of Ascher. Kathryn assures us she’s not the type of person who would spread a rumor…only repeat one. She finally apologizes for passing on the story. Kathryn also accuses Thomas of spending the night with Jenn while they were still a couple.
Having heard enough, Thomas threatens Kathryn with the truth, saying if she doesn’t stop talking, all her dirty laundry will come out. That she’ll never work again!
So, what did you make of the reunion? Do you buy Kathryn’s recovery? What about Shep’s drinking? Does he have a problem or is he just a hard-partying good old boy?
I’m a fiction writer by day and a reality TV addict by night.