Welcome to The Real Housewives of Potomac Season two reunion, part one. The ladies are dressed to the nines, but think they are all tens. After Andy gives a fake hello to each, we begin with flashbacks of the situation between Karen and the black Bill Gates who can’t afford their lifestyle. Karen announces, ‘You Can Be a Grand Dame, and You Can Be a Grand Dame,’ just like Oprah. But you can’t be grand dame until Karen hands it off to you! Andy thanks Karen for sharing her college date-rape story and Robyn also shares she too had a similar experience. For some reason, Charrisse chimes in with a rehearsed read about Karen and Ray having not a ‘dame thing.’
Moving on, Gizelle says she is her own woman and not about what men have given her – despite her ex-husband paying her bills from the church tidings. And just because looks fade, Gizelle says men still cross the street to get to her. Or they could just be like chickens and they cross to get to the other side. This is really about Gizelle’s jealousy over Monique and all she has, but Monique is on the defense by saying that once you marry, his stuff becomes half her stuff. Even those football trophies? We’ll just have to ask the heifer’s mother-in-law about that, I suppose.
Charrisse apologizes to Monica Lewinski for calling her Gizelle. And when pressed, Charrisse apologizes to Gizelle for making a joke at her expense. Basically, this was retaliation for Gizelle going on WWHL and slut slamming Charrisse for dating a fireman even though she’s married.
Andy gives a shout-out to Gizelle’s new man Bingo-Sherman, who has deep pockets for his deep pockets. Catch my drift?
Onto the most important topic this season – Juan and Robyn. Flashbacks are shown of shady-Juan and his closet confession about not wanting to be in a relationship with Robyn no more, and if the kids were gone, he’d be gone. According to Robyn, she and Juan have talked about this and have grown and made efforts to schedule time in the future to spend time in the future. Andy is confused because in his world, that’s a kiss off. Robyn says Juan wants to be in a relationship – ideally with her – even though viewers think Juan is not into Robyn. The simple fact is, according to Robyn, it’s not that Juan doesn’t like Robyn, it’s that Juan doesn’t like filming. And it’s all Ashley’s fault for saying that Juan was stepping out. Robyn pleads to America that she’s fine, but America doesn’t believe it.
Andy moves onto newbie
chatty-Kathy Monique and her rapping skills. Here’s the thing, according to Monique, 9,000 square-feet is too small for her family. Suck it America. And as for Monique’s mother-in-law calling Monique a heifer, they haven’t spoken in a year. Suck it mom-in-law. Gizelle says she wasn’t being shady at Monique’s house party, she just likes wearing a coat in 90 degree weather in case she needs to make a quick exit in case she gets kicked out like she did. And by the way, things went south with Monique and Gizelle way before Monique was accused of being a non-stop talker. They went south the first time they met.
Andy says a viewer called out Robyn for acting different when she’s around Gizelle. Charrisse agrees even though Robyn denies it. Monique back tracks on her girl-crush comments she made on her blog about Robyn and Gizelle, but sticks to the fact that the only reason Gizelle likes Robyn is because Robyn isn’t as successful as her. Robyn is offended and Andy is at a loss so he asks for Monique to rap. Instead, Monique continues to talk and talk and talk. Once again, Andy says, let’s hear some rap. What he’s really saying is Please. Stop. Talking. Bibbity boppity boo, goes the rap.
Onto Ashley and her motor-boat, pot-stirring mouth. She says she may not have had a divorce (yet) or children (yet), but she can still be an expert on everyone else’s lives. Plus, it distracts her from her pathetic marriage to an old man she’s no longer attracted to because, she’s not going to stay in an empty marriage for long like Robyn. Oh no she did’ent! Robyn says she and Gizelle didn’t intend to go all ghetto on Ashley at her restaurant, but that’s what happens when mean girls get together. They blame Ashely for not moving the scene to the back of the restaurant and purposely creating a scene for television. Robyn explains to Andy that things went down the way they did because they didn’t know where else to find Ashley, so they went to her restaurant.
As for the status of Ashley and Michael’s marriage, she says, “I almost had an epiphany that I don’t want to not be with him.” WTF? Maybe they will be together next year and maybe they won’t. Of course, maybe there will be another season of RHOP and maybe there won’t.
So as they go to break and after Andy announces the men will soon be joining them, he tells the ladies they will turn on the air conditioning. Poor Robyn has been fanning her face throughout the show and the heat is getting to her. She decides to start yapping her mouth and says that if the cameras weren’t there to document her, she would have beat Ashley’s ass a long time ago. Welcome to Potomac! Such class.
Tune in next week for Part two of The Real Housewives of Potomac Reunion to see more mudslinging from the ladies and the men deflect accusations of adultery.
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