Jorge and Anfisa
As 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After takes off, we join Anfisa mid-tantrum — furious at her husband, Jorge. Anfisa — currently trapped in undeserved poverty — needs a ride, and doesn’t even have an Uber-linked bank card. Jorge drives her home, apologizing for disrespecting her passion for cash. Anfisa is furious about inheriting debt instead of promised American luxury. Jorge feels badly for lying to his Russian hottie, but tags Anfisa’s legal push for a post-nup as fishy, because her green card interview is right around the corner. The couple hits up a pair of lawyers to put the legal agreement in motion, and Jorge requests that Anfisa stays put for five years, before cashing out. Anfisa rejects the idea, because staying hitched to a broke liar is not appealing. Anfisa wants freedom from Jorge’s debt, but demands freedom to create more, whenever she feels like it. Jorge calls her immature — and Anfisa hauls off and smacks him one, before flouncing away. She reiterates that Jorge deserved her right hook — and Jorge sheepishly admits that their marriage is looking less than perfect.
The attorneys advise Jorge to think about his legal plan, and one of the pros weighs in, clearly enjoying the crazy reality drama. Jorge believes that demanding a five year marriage is reasonable — but Anfisa calls him a dumb idiot for not addressing her complaints. The red flags have already blown them both over, but Anfisa wonders why Jorge didn’t care that she was a skanky gold digger from the start. Jorge pleads porny obsession, and blind lust. Anfisa nails it, pointing out that she was 100% honest, and Jorge sold her a phony bill of goods. Jorge says that he wants Anfisa’s heart forever, but the offer is looking weak, minus the fat wallet. Jorge is a dirty fibber — and Anfisa isn’t having it. The episode ends with a bang, after Jorge arranges a secret meeting with lawyers, and Anfisa torments him via phone — with shrieking demands and demon-like growls, until he agrees to skitter back to her side.
Danielle and Mohamed
We catch up with high-drama duo #2, finding Danielle giddy with excitement, at the idea of seeing her Tunisian escapee, Mohamed, once again. Mohamed is in Ohio to contest the latest annulment, and Danielle just can’t wait for the drama to kick off. Mohamed knows that the situation is serious, and some hardcore schmoozing is in order. Mohamed hopes that Danielle keeps the hysteria to a minimum, but is willing to lay it on thick, to stay in America. The ex-couple meets in a coffee shop, and Danielle greets her ex-lover with one of her signature blank stares.
Mohamed repeats his immigrant concerns, and apologizes profusely for being a runaway love-dodger. Danielle claims that she didn’t just fall off a turnip truck — at least not this season. Danielle inwardly smirks at Mohamed’s naiveté — her weak pushover status a thing of the past. Mohamed points out that their marriage catastrophe took two, and that it was time to fake a solid friendship. Danielle proudly reveals that she has a new single-wide address, and a fresh computer beau. Mohamed is impressed with the new Danielle, and pinky swears that the faux friendship will stick this time. Mohamed wants the divorce, but Danielle is requiring formal apologies to every pissed-off family member. Mohamed’s performance is solid, and Danielle twitches and blinks her approval. Mohamed agrees to the apologies, promising to throw in some bonus family yammer to really sell it.
Danielle later meets up with her son, her sis, Sarah, and her brother-in-law, Paul — who all detest Mohamed. The family split for almost a year because of her tacky marriage, and Danielle is hoping to make amends. Mohamed has a restraining order against her son — throwing a kink in the mix, but Danielle still hopes that they can heal their family scars. Danielle apologizes for the crapstorm that is her life, and shares that she has filed for an annulment from the M-word. Sarah and Paul try not to roll their eyes, and comment that Mohamed is a sweet talkin’ rodent — who knows how to manipulate Danielle. Danielle admits that Mohamed was using her, and that her family’s assessment was spot-on. Sarah and Paul cringe at the idea of meeting with the shifty rat, and her son thinks that something stinks like a green card.
Sarah and Paul finally agree to hear “Moho” out, if Danielle shuts up about her cringeworthy love life forever. Mohamed agrees to an immediate back alley showdown, and TLC throws in a western shootout track to set the mood. Sarah and her hubby blast Mohamed for being a shady womanizer, and ask why he decided to use and toss out their sister. Mohamed denies being a user, and claims that he wasn’t given a fair shot. Sarah accuses him of being a man-whore, but Mohamed assures them that there were only two hussies on the side. Mohamed adds that Danielle is a bonafide internet whore, and that the sleazy act goes both ways. Mohamed claims that Danelle’s loose ways were why he left, and that her family is in the dark about her covert inter-slut life. Sarah wants Mohamed’s butt on the next plane to Tunisia, but he declines her offer. Danielle buys Mohamed’s shtick, so Moho’s mission is accomplished. No one is surprised.
Next week, Anfisa’s green card moment of truth goes down, and Mohamed is looking for love.