The Real Housewives of New York opens with Bethenny strutting through the Bronx, proud that she’s shoving the cast out of the UES. Dorinda shows up hungover, and the other ladies, sans Ramona, marvel at the charming setting in the strange foreign land. Bethenny snarks about the ladies’ travel-wear, shading the NYC neighborhood like it’s a throwback relic. An upcoming Vermont ski trip is discussed, and Bethenny repeats her most pointed reasons for detesting Ramona.
Bethenny revives the Tipsy debate, and Bravo rewinds some of Ramona’s shady jabs during the fiasco. Bethenny points out that Ramona was gossiping against Sonja throughout the drama, ignoring that she herself slaughtered her, on camera. Sonja claims that Dorinda was interested in joining the cheater brand party — accusing her boyfriend of meeting with Mr. Tipsy himself. Dorinda objects, and loudly bleats that she never wanted any part of anything Tipsy. Sonja disagrees, claiming that the dodgy dry cleaner said otherwise.
Luann is mortified, and tries to shut Dorinda up — but Carole is loving every minute of the spectacle. Bethenny advises Sonja to ditch Tipsy, assuring her that it won’t pay off. Sonja says that John confirmed with Dorinda that the interest was there — which sets Dorinda off. Dorinda reminds us that she has no sober life with John, bellowing her case to the whole restaurant. Sonja sticks to her guns, as Dorinda hurls high volume insults back. Lu makes a run for it and Tinsley is shellshocked, but Bethenny and Carole are positively giddy. Dorinda accuses Sonja of being a fraud, her high volume rant deafening the surrounding patrons. Dorinda hits a crude note, before veering into semi-sobs, claiming that she has been nothing but kind to Sonja. Sonja revives the Berkshires diss, the dead horse beaten further into a boring pile of pulp. The outing ends on an amusing note, when an onlooker hilariously compares Carole to a Trump beauty.
We take it down several notches, joining Tinsley in her therapist’s office. Tinsley shares that her deceased father had a past with alcoholism, describing the sadness she feels about his life. Tinsley points out that she is attracted to men like her father, and is concerned about her future. Tinsley has to drink her way through boyfriend nightmares, and is scared of never waking up. Tinsley is still upset about the trespassing arrest, and misses her old self. The therapist advises her to dump the old her, stage a comeback, and ditch the booze.
We jump to Mrs. D’Agostino, whose murky yellow diamond is meeting Sonja and Ramona’s ringless fingers for lunch. Ramona comments that Sonja lives in the past, and wishes that she would cut the repetitive chatter. They banter about the upcoming Vermont ski weekend, and whether or not the B-I deems it acceptable for Ramona to attend. Ramona generally reserves her man-magnet ski-bunny wear for Aspen, but agrees to go, and plans to ignore the ongoing conflict with Bethenny. Lu believes that she’s trying too hard, and advises her to cut her losses and break out the white flag. Sonja hopes that she will get along with Dorinda, because due to the fact they’ve never shared a lover, they barely know each other. Luann rolls her eyes — annoyed by the tacky jab at her new/used hubby. Ramona grins excitedly through the heated exchange, and almost high-fives Sonja. Lu demands an apology, but Sonja’s just gotta be her — over and over and over….
We travel to Vermont, a cartoonish Lincoln Log palace the setting for the next cast mashup. Ramona, Tinsley and Sonja are headed out of the city, and Ramona reveals that she sent a text to Bethenny as an ass-kissing icebreaker.
Bethenny chatters it off, and Carole and Dorinda soak in every loopy word. Bethenny and Ramona reach an agreement — to hate each other in a pleasant manner. Ramona’s group analyzes Bethenny’s replies, while Bethenny’s crew runs down Ramona’s past bitchery. The women chitchat about an upcoming Mexico trip, the getaway planned to make up for the one canceled by the TJ Maxx clot-drop of Season 8.
Carole and Dorinda decide to get a jump on the room-run, but the plan is delayed when Dorinda realizes that she forgot her luggage. She blames the mistake on daytime sex, loopy afterglow, and a likely vat of wine. Dorinda dumps out her purse to mark her territory, including a must-have for any clothes-less traveler — a mini disco ball. The next car arrives, and Ramona squawks her entrance, as the threesome hobbles into the lodge.
Ramona shades Skinnygirl wine right off the bat, which freezes over Bethenny’s already chilly shoulder. Sonja and Ramona jabber through the traditional room scramble, and elbow their way into their chosen space. They continue to blabber and complain about the accommodations, as Sonja admits that the duo just adores being completely obnoxious. Luann arrives, and Ramona’s most monumentally malicious moments are revisited, set against a cackling game of ping pong.
The chef is cooking up a storm, as Sonja tries to create a prank to expose Ramona’s water snobbery. The joke tanks, as Bethenny and Tinsley chat downstairs. Tinsley is boy crazy, and is looking for an employed, older husband. Bethenny reveals that she has split from Dennis, due to her high-octane divorce fallout. Carole arrives right on time, as Lu rouses Dorinda, who is sleeping off her daytime buzz. Lu complains that her holy honeymoon phase is being disrespected, annoyed that she scored a lame bedroom and a (gasp) bathroom used by the help. A disheveled Dorinda whines for her dinner, as Sonja and Ramona finally waltz into the dining room.
Tinsley launches into her latest apartment/man woes, and Sonja weighs in on correct man-hunting protocol. Sonja takes a jab at Tinsley’s lax apartment hunt, and Tinsley’s jaw drops. She blasts the ladies for not cutting her a break, and points out that others wallow in the past, season after season. Bethenny orders Tinsley to get it together, but Tinsley shrugs it off, daring to minimize Bethenny’s high-profile divorce hysteria — not giving it legit props for being one pathetic spectacle.
Next week, the gals hit the slopes, and the conversation gets spicy.