The Real Housewives of New York kicks off by checking in with Tinsley and Carole, who are meeting up for coffee and a chat. The pair recently attended the same shindig and after a brief rewind, the ladies high-five over a shout-out from the NY Post. Tinsley is still traumatized by her dowdy mugshot and big city struggles, so Carole advises her to hack off the ponytail, to kick off a must-do reinvention. Tinsley vetoes the idea, aghast at the suggestion.
Over at Sonja’s, Edgar has busted out his elbow patches for a cooking session, giving his navy blazer a day off. The duo quibbles about bathroom clashes, and Sonja reveals that the Bravo bitches are being too nosy about their international romance. Edgar mentions that he’s been hearing chatter about Rocco, but Sonja assures him that their partnership is just about free meals, no kissing allowed.
We hop over to Ramona’s, where we see her squealing over her redecorated home. Ramona did a fab job, and she does say so herself. She manages to pull off connecting with Avery via FaceTime, and the pair chats about an upcoming decor reveal, and Ramona’s desire to kiss and make up with Bethenny. Ramona tells us that the cast is scared of the bitchy-witch — paralyzed in dramatic indecision.
Tinsley and her mom, Dale, are checking out some real estate, trying to warm to the idea of a downtown address. Tinsley reminds us that she has a job between blowouts, and a boatload of family cash. Tinsley is inwardly cringing, but tries to stomach the idea of downtown hip. In other news, Carole’s shredded sofa is finally getting a rescue, but her designer is horrified by all the Babys swinging from the rafters. Adam shows up, and Carole is happy to see him, because his vegan ass has finally vacated her space. The ex-roomies quibble over who gets custody of some uppity decor, before Bravo shoots us uptown. Tinsley and Dale check out an UES apartment, and the spot is great — perfect for a socialite comeback. Tinsley loves it but panics, because a criminal past is stressful, and the immaturity is real. No apartment decision is made, so her curls bounce right on back to Sonja’s place.
It’s time for this week’s Bethenny/Fredrik spotlight moment, and tonight Fredrik is checking in on Bethenny’s de-clutter of her practically bare apartment. Fredrik wants the awkward bar gone, but Bethenny is worried about wrecking the floor. Bethenny calls her assistant and orders the bar axed, despite the fact that she dropped $40k on the eyesore. Bethenny snipes and curses at Fredrik, but knows that her Bravo property pal is spot-on. Carole and Dorinda chat about their upcoming female protest-fest in D.C., their simmering womanhood on the brink of explosion. Across the river, Sonja meets up with Rocco in a Hoboken eatery, and they flirt like a genuine and fun couple. Sonja blows the mood by blathering about Tom, before she gently breaks the news that Edgar is her rather presumptuous lover. Sonja dodges and weaves, and Rocco kindly lets her off the hook. Rocco thinks that real friendship should come before sex. Sonja admits that she did crack and kiss the sweet Italian on the lips, and Rocco hopes that there’s more where that came from.
Meanwhile, Carole, Dorinda and Hannah are kicking up their heels, “having a voice” in D.C.. Carole informs us that she is on the correct side of history, as the threesome basks in noisy girl power. Back in NYC, Bethenny is giving a monologue about the UES populace, and Tinsley is unloading on her manicurist about acute tattoo remorse.
Ramona’s cocktail party is about to begin, and we get a quick preview of the new place. The decor is boinging all over the place — just like her super-cool ponytail. Carole arrives, and Ramona chatters excitedly about her new digs. Carole doesn’t buy Ramona’s swanky forced style, and votes no on the new weird hairdo. Ramona disagrees, commenting that she never wants to leave her apartment ever again. Tinsley and her stylish mother arrive, and Dale politely compliments Ramona’s Tinsley-tail. Ramona blushes, happy that someone noticed her extremely modern edginess.
Tinsley shoots down Carole’s apartment offer, stating that her uptown blowout is too crucial to risk. Yet another Season 9 fur/hair bikini-jacket arrives, Dorinda the latest fashion victim. Dorinda gasps at Ramona’s “severe” new look — and suggests a whip as an accessory. Good-time Harry appears, and is impressed by Ramona’s boobs and pony, in that order. Harry zeroes in on Tinsley’s chest, and Tinsley’s chest is not amused. Sonja makes her entrance, and gripes that the place is infested with her ex-lovers. Harry just loves Sonja’s red smackers, and practically drools all over her. Lu and Tom arrive, and Tom politely compliments the jumpy decor.
Dorinda and Carole powwow about Ramona and Bethenny’s cold war, and Ramona joins, admitting that she did invite her crabby co-star. Bethenny throws in that she detests Ramona, while Ramona expresses her delight to have received the B-I’s decline. Ramona admits that she’s a mean drunk, and Dorinda agrees, advising her to latch onto that as an excuse. Carole reminds her that “I forgot” works pretty well for all of those Beverly Hills bitches. Ramona actually adores Bethenny, and assures the ladies that the hard-ass shtick is just an act.
Tom’s ex, Missy, appears as Ramona smacks herself in the head at her zany social misstep. Tom introduces his wife to the thirsty wildcard, and Luann does her best to neutralize her grimace at the mention of The Regency. Ramona excitedly narrates the tense moment, cheering the Bravo wannabe. Missy takes a jab at Tom’s ring finger, and Tom doesn’t disappoint, snarking that wedding rings tend to strangle the life outta dirty dogs.
Luann raises an eyebrow at her hubby, but “totally understands,” his fondness for staying friendly with his long list of ex-lovers. Lu and Tom swap home accessory commentary with Sonja, who is busy shading Ramona for being a tacky price dropper. We shift back to Harry, who is obnoxiously prodding Missy to spill the D’Agostino tea. Missy refuses, not wanting to kiss and tell, incur the wrath of Luann, or both.
Next week, a Vermont trip is on the horizon, and Tinsley sits in the hot seat.