#SouthernCharm Recap: Kathryn Dennis Manipulates The Charmers With Lies To Turn On Each Other!
This week’s Southern Charm is all about being sorry. We start with ladies’ man, Shep Rose, stopping by Chelsea Meissner’s house. Chelsea, eating peanut butter straight out of the jar, tells Shep that she doesn’t appreciate the way he tried to make the moves on her. She’s not one of “those” girls, the kind that Shep bags, tags, then brags about. Shep apologizes. He likes Chelsea, and that’s why he never called her after their first few dates. He has intimacy issues. Chelsea thinks that’s sad and reminds Shep he should apologize to her almost-boyfriend, Austen, too.
Kathryn Dennis goes to Cameran Eubank’s home for a chat. Cam talks about her decision to embrace motherhood, and Kathryn says being a mom is the best — even when you don’t have custody of the kids. Cameran’s birthday trip to Key West is coming up and she wants no drama between Kathryn and Landon Clements. Acting as a go between, Cameran says Landon wants Kathryn to apologize. Kathryn explains that when she was with Thomas Ravenel (before she became pregnant with Saint), they’d planned a Valentine Day’s trip together. She and Thomas briefly broke up, and instead of canceling the trip, he took Landon instead. Cameran is shocked by what she’s hearing. Even though Thomas always claimed he and Landon didn’t sleep together, Cam admits it was a shitty thing for Thomas to do. It also puts Landon in a whole new light.
When Naomie arrives home after another busy day, Craig Conover hardly acknowledges her. In their last therapy session, they talked about breaking up. Naomie is waffling on going to Key West with Craig. He thinks it will good for them to get away together. Naomie is feeling resentful that Craig doesn’t have a job and isn’t studying for the upcoming bar exam. She expects more of him. Craig feels her love is conditional. She warns him that if he’s disrespectful and isn’t living up to her standards, she’ll leave Key West and they’ll break up for good.
Michael the butler requests Whitney Sudler-Smith’s presence in the morning room for a glass of champs with his mom, Patricia Altschul. Patty is put off by Whitney’s reading glasses. They makes her feel old. You know what doesn’t make her feel aged? A racist gold clock featuring a maharaja and his slaves. She puts it on the mantel with her other politically incorrect statues.
Landon giggles her way into Thomas’ home. She’s unsure of whether she should go to Key West with the other Charmed Ones. Sure, she wants an apology from Kathryn, but then again, the Thomas’ ex is a nut, so what good is an apology from an unstable woman? By not going to on vacay, Landon would only be punishing herself. She admits she’s threatened by Kathryn, so she and Thomas decide that they won’t give Kathryn the satisfaction of reacting to her.
Austen Kroll takes Chelsea to meet his parents for the first time. On the drive, they discuss Shep’s advances toward Chelsea. Austen is under the misconception that Shep aggressively forced her to go outside with him. Not so! Chelsea is changing her story. Austen thinks that she and Shep must have spoken and now she’s backpedaling. Austen is upset that Chelsea is downplaying what happened.
Chelsea embraces Austen’s parents and aunt. She wants to know what Austen was like as a boy. Mischievous, apparently. He was ornery in church during Palm Sunday, and once made his little sister so angry, she yanked a handful of his hair out by the roots. As Austen sits next to Chelsea, he’s feeling uncomfortable about their earlier conversation and questions their relationship.
The next morning, half the group meets at the airport to fly to Florida. Austen and Chelsea are still in an awkward place. The girls sit on the beach, sip cocktails, and talk about Kathryn. Jenn Snowden plans on being cordial to Kathryn, but Landon bitches about the redhead and all rumors she’s spread. Cameran points out that Landon took Kathryn’s place on the Valentine’s Day trip with Thomas.
Chelsea says Landon broke the girl code. Landon is pissed that Chelsea can see both sides. Cameran reminds them that Kathryn is a fragile, a broken bird. Landon doesn’t believe this new version of Kathryn, who hasn’t shown that she’s changed enough to regain custody of her kids. According to Landon, Kathryn is manipulating the others into feeling sorry for her. Damn it, Landon. Do not make me agree with you, you giggly goof!
When the rest of the group converges on the hotel, they all toast to Cameran and her birthday. Landon is already half drunk. She begs Austen to hang out with her on the beach. Chelsea spies on them from her hotel room to see if they’re smooching. Instead of being jealous, Cam thinks Chelsea should put a label on her relationship with Austen.
Shep decides to make amends by showing up at Austen’s hotel room with a beer. They walk to the beach for a bro talk. Austen claims that he wasn’t bothered by Shep making a move on Chelsea (cough, bullshit, cough). He was really wounded that Shep declared they weren’t friends. Shep admits he was wrong. And they really are friends. Totally! Shep even gives Austen a tacky marlin shirt to prove his loyalty.
Everyone gets ready for dinner. Kathryn is determined to be on her best behavior. Elizabeth and JD pop in from nowhere. Naomie refuses to carry a purse and makes Craig shove all of her belongings in his pockets. He doesn’t want to take out his dip to accommodate her, but he sucks it up. When they arrive at the restaurant, Landon finds there aren’t enough chairs — mainly because she refuses to sit next to Thomas and doesn’t want to be anywhere near Kathryn. Landon offers to go back to the hotel. Finally, everyone squeezes in and makes room for her at the other end of table from her nemesis. Kathryn decides she’ll have a cocktail — probably not smart, considering she’s supposed to be sober, but she’s on vacation, so that makes it okay. JD tries to order his baby, Gentry Bourbon, but the restaurant doesn’t carry it. Good way to get that plug in though, JD! Craig wants his wine in a pint glass, like the plebian Naomie accuses him of being.
Thomas has already downed a few by this point. When Cam says she’s preparing her body for motherhood, he tells her to wait until she’s ovulating then get “shot” three times. That should do the trick. Before appetizers, Whitney decides to stir the shit by asking if Thomas and Kathryn could ever get back together. Kathryn apologizes to Whitney for screaming at him like a shrew in season 2. Whitney declares Kathryn is clearheaded and back on track. Landon rises from the table, announcing that she needs to blow her nose. Thanks for sharing, Landon! Whitney follows her, encouraging her to talk with Kathryn.
Back at the table, Whitney steers Landon to Kathryn’s side and facilitates a sitdown. Landon says she just wants to move on. Danni intervenes and implores them to be civil, but Craig isn’t having it. If they’re going to talk, these women need to bring up the ugly past and confront it. He rounds the table and situates himself between Landon and Kathryn. Calling on his vast experience of two therapy sessions, he thinks they should acknowledgement their anger with each other. Kathryn admits that the trip Landon took with Thomas really bothered her. Whitney watches on with sadistic glee. Everyone tells Craig to butt out, and he storms to his side of the table, calling them all “children.” Naomie tells him to knock it off and mind his own biz. Craig, tired of being on the receiving end of Naomie’s putdowns, tells her to stop correcting him or they’ll breakup tonight.
Landon apologizes for hurting Kathryn’s feelings and claims that Thomas uses her as a weapon against Kathryn. Thomas watches as Landon cries and hugs it out. Kathryn isn’t buying Landon’s apology, but she keeps her mouth shut during dinner. Next, everyone decides to go to the bar and get wasted except for Whitney. He’s taking Craig on a sex tour and tells Naomie that her man needs to get laid. She agrees. Wtf, Naomie? Aren’t you supposed to be in charge of that?
Thomas corners Landon, feeling betrayed that she and Kathryn are now getting along. Landon says she’s not choosing Kathryn’s side over Thomas’. She’s just tired of Kathryn being angry with her. Thomas feels that Landon’s apology to Kathryn was self-serving.
The next morning, the Charmers meet on the beach for breakfast. We’re treated to flashbacks from the night before. The gang went to a drag show and had a very raucous time. Shep got his stomach licked, and Whitney received a lap dance. Landon has a migraine as she stumbles to the buffet table for coffee. Thomas views her flipflopping as a red flag and washes his hands of her. Kathryn joins the table when Thomas announces that their daughter, Kensie, will be attending the Nutcracker. Kathryn warns that Thomas’ chaperone of choice is only 19-years-old and not allowed around the children. Thomas points out that the stipulation isn’t in the court order. Kathryn leaves the table as Thomas throws digs at her, intimating she hasn’t changed at all. Even Landon sticks up for Kathryn at this point, telling Thomas to shut up and stop being a dick.
So, what did you make of this week’s episode? Was Thomas right to feel slighted by Landon? Is Shep truly sorry for his behavior?
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I’m a fiction writer by day and a reality TV addict by night.