A very tipsy Sonja Morgan dropped by the Watch What Happens clubhouse Monday night, and took over as she sat at the bar and talked with Craig Conover, Bobby Moynihan, and Andy Cohen about her philosophies on men and life.
The Real Housewives of New York star started out by saying Craig is the “Sonja” of Southern Charm.
“He’s very intuitive and very smart. People should really lay off him…”
She also thought Naomie should stop belittling Craig, as he’s the only man on the show with a “stiff dick.”
“Someone in his household should never doubt what side her bread is buttered on.”
Sonja’s a big fan of southern gentlemen.
“I like Southern stuff because they have good manners, but you get laid.”
All righty, then.
As Sonja tried to recall her catchphrases over the seasons, she showed off her love of going commando by standing, turning, and wiggling her ass toward the crowd. When she tried to sit back on the barstool, she almost took the bar down. Daniel Eichholz of Southern Charm Savannah, quickly grabbed the bottles and kept them from tumbling.
As for the rest of the men on Southern Charm, Sonja thought Thomas Ravenel needed to be “wrestled.”
“Wow, there’s [someone] that needs to be [wrestled] because [Thomas] Ravenel has an ego that needs to be taken down a notch. He’s a good-looking man. I have never met him, but I will tell you Ravenel needs a lesson or two.”
When a caller asked Craig about his embroidery hobby, Sonja praised him. And she ripped his girlfriend, Naomie, apart, saying all that negativity will make Craig’s penis go limp. Craig agreed that he needed to be supported by his partner.
When Bobby admitted he stole things from the SNL set, Sonja suggested they steal from the clubhouse, and Andy nearly had a stroke. “No, no, no! Nobody steals this stuff!” Sonja and Bobby just ignored him, saying Craig, a new lawyer, could get them out of trouble.
A viewer asked if Shep Rose realizes he’s an “alcoholic manwhore with no morals.” Harsh words. True, but harsh. Craig said that Shep has been doing some self-reflecting, but Bobby agreed with the fan. Sonja had a different take.
“I know this type of guy my whole life. He wants to have the good life—family and children. He’s looking for the wrong type of woman for that. He needs a strong woman to keep him in place.”
On falling asleep at Dorinda Medley’s dining room table in the Berkshires, Sonja said:
“You might find me asleep right here. Craig’s going to run back to his girlfriend tonight because she’s going to rip his balls off. You may find me right here! I’ve said it a million times. One drink, I’m tipsy. Two drinks, I’m drunk. Three drinks, I’m yours, but you keep running!”
Andy asked Sonja’s philosophy on men and kissing. It’s simple. She doesn’t kiss men, she just has sex.
“You do not give these guys oral sex [speaking of the men Ramona Singer and Tinsley Moritmer have been dating all season]. You do not have intimate kisses with them. They’re useless.”
Then she walked over to Craig, straddled him and kissed him. After staggering back to her barstool, she said that she never has sex with a man she wants to marry until after they’re engaged.
“Kissing is way more intimate. I don’t kiss guys I don’t want to marry.”
So, what do you make of Sonja’s rules? And is she right about Shep?
I’m a fiction writer by day and a reality TV addict by night.