Pack your bags and wigs, The Real Housewives of Potomac are going to Bermuda. We begin with Gizelle, whose mom will be watching the girls so she can go on vacation. Gizelle wants them to call her twice a day. Yeah, that’ll happen. Gizelle’s mom is disappointed to learn her daughter is dumping Kevin because he doesn’t make enough money is stuck in the friend-zone. Granny’s house rules are…there are no rules. Yay! We like her better.
Over at Robyn’s house, she is tired of taking care of her sassy boys because Juan is useless. Perfect time for a vacation to Bermuda. Robyn has decided not to tell Juan about the dating assignment her therapist has given her which she will be starting in Bermuda! I think it would have been more fun honest if Robyn had told Juan, but I trust she knows what she’s doing.
Karen is packed and ready to go. Ray is driving her to the airport early, making sure she has her passport, and that she’s the first one there. He drops Karen off, get all of the luggage out of the trunk, and affectionately wishes her a safe trip.
Away they go! Good news. There was no fighting among the women on the plane, and consequently no one was kicked off the flight – cuz you know they will. On the way to the resort, we learn not only is it Charrisse’s birthday, it’s also her anniversary. She admits to texting her soon-to-be ex, Eddie, at midnight, but he didn’t respond. Damn, girl, couldn’t the man send an emoji of two glasses toasting? That’s just lazy.
The view of the ocean is to die for, but the rooms are average. There’s confusion among the ladies as to who the real hostess with the mostess is. Charrisse is not happy about Karen’s attempt to exclude her so she got herself a sweet two-story suite. You go, girl! Pamper yourself since it may be a while. I mean, when the bell hop turns you down, that’s embarrassing. Drink some champagne. It’ll make everything better. It’s time for the dinner. The grand dame makes her entrance wearing a black tent and introduces the Gombay Dancers. Very cool. The ladies join in, shaking and twerking their grove things. Everyone’s a little hot at the outdoor dinner table, and Charrisse informs them that if she’d been involved, there would be fans.
Monique asks Karen why the gift baskets weren’t from both her and Charrisse. And I’m like, excuse me, Monique, the proper response to receiving a gift basket is, thank you. Not, why are they just from you? But Karen tells the ladies, that she is the host and Charrisse was the assistant, but she fired her. Bloop!
Charrisse is ready to put someone else’s feet on the fire so she mentions the last time the ladies were all together was at Monique’s daughter’s birthday party – but wait – Gizelle wasn’t there. Why was that? Excellent deflection, Charrisse. Your therapy is really showing. Monique explains she didn’t invite Gizelle because she didn’t want tension in the air with the other 200 guests who were attending a one year-old’s party. Gizelle is like, Fine, I probably, most likely, possibly wouldn’t have gone to it no matter how many cute and eligible men were there.
Next up, Robyn shares with the ladies she spoke to a therapist and has been given the homework assignment do go out on a date. The ladies cheer, except Ashley, who’s pouting because that was her idea. Karen thinks Robyn isn’t ready to move on from Juan and move under another man. Monique is like, Enough about Robyn, I’m moving to Potomac. Then Karen tells the group, once again about the cash offer on her home, but won’t tell the ladies where she’s going.
After dinner the ladies go back to Charrisse’s suite so they can ooh and ahh over it. And wow! What is Gizelle wearing? You are at the beach, hun, not the club. Karen hatches a secret plan to invite Gizelle and Monique back to non-enemy status.
The next morning, Robyn and Charrisse have a quick pow-wow about dating. Robyn says, I think I can, I think I can, and Charrisse says she remembers once upon a time, long, long ago, way back when, she and Eddie used to go on vacations together. She thinks she misses it.
Now for the building a bridge bus ride with Karen, Monique and Gizelle. Karen wants the ladies to start anew and have a one-on-one. They drive around telling each other what they don’t like about each other. Gizelle thinks Monique is insecure and Monique thinks Gizelle is jealous. Meanwhile, there’s more therapy coming their way on a catamaran where they will be required to run from one side of a boat to the other. Monique and Gizelle bond over their new found hatred for Karen.
Karen is first to try running from one side of the boat to the other. While Gizelle and Monique are waiting for their turns, Gizelle gives Monique encouragement. Birds sing in the background and a rainbow appears. Monique nearly gets knocked on her ass, but survives and thrives, all because of Gizelle’s pep talk. On the drive back to the hotel, Monique and Gizelle unite over telling Karen she better apologize to Charrisse.
Over with Ashley, Robyn, and Charrisse, after their few minutes of jet skiing, Ashley tells the women she has threatened Michael with divorce and no longer wants a baby. Robyn asks Ashely if she’s going to choose the restaurant over her marriage. Ashley isn’t sure. Charrisse tells Ashley she needs a therapist, but everyone needs a therapist according to Charrisse. And a champagne room. And a husband who pays your bills but you never see.
Robyn is wearing a dress with a slit up to her navel with micro-shorts. Prowl-alert. If she can’t get a man in this dress, then she’s not trying. First on the menu is putting Miss Karen in her place for bailing on them today. Robyn goes to Karen’s room and calls her a hypocrite about wanting sisterly bonding time. Karen says it wasn’t about her, it was about Monique and Gizelle and her.
After Robyn makes her exit, the camera men leave with her, but the audio is still on in Karen’s room. She is pissed. Karen says this reeks of Charrisse. She says Charrisse had better watch it or she’s going tell the world the “New Jersey harlot” is screwing a fireman. Oopsie. No worries, flashbacks are shown of Gizelle on WWHL telling Andy Cohen that Charrisse was dating a cute fireman with big arms.
And then we are shown the worst three words in reality television: To Be Continued.
I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.