Hold onto your kangaroo pouches, trouble is cooking for Ashley on The Real Housewives of Potomac! She is at Oz, hanging out with her young chef, dreading to read the comment cards from the Critique’s Choice dinner – so she only reads the good ones. Michael stops by to place his tail between his legs and apologize for being a dingo.
Up next, Karen is trying to broker a deal between Gizelle and Monique. Charrisse wasn’t invited to this lunch, but swerve, Monique has brought her and Karen is pissed. Just as Gizelle is about to tell Monique why she hates her, she begins choking, on a lie, says Monique. After Gizelle guzzles her cocktail, Monique explains to her that, the word “trick,” means childish – even though we all know “trick,” really means hoe. Charrisse announces this isn’t about Gizelle and Monique, it’s about her, and she needs them to get along, because this is about her. Karen is rolling her eyes, realizing she wasted a nice white dress and good weave on these women.
Monique and Chris are working out together so she can get ready to show off her body at their lake house for her baby girl Milani’s first birthday. Two-hundred people are invited. Her budget is $20,000 but what’s an extra five or ten? Chris is worried Monique won’t reel it in, but Monique explains will be saving money by not inviting Gizelle.
Karen and Ray’s house has finally sold! The cash offer isn’t revealed, but the problem is they might have to move out of Potomac because there are no fabulous houses. In all of Potomac. Karen is ready to party again, but Ray is ready to chill. Hopefully this next house will have a wine cellar he can hide in.
We are along for Robyn’s first therapy session ever. She doesn’t need it, you see, except when she was married, which was practically her entire life. She discusses Juan’s cheating and her inability to let go of the cheating bastard. Girl has trust issues and wants to hide from the world, but the big questions is, does Robyn want love? After a lot of hmms and haws, Robyn says yes! (Enter inspirational music.) Her homework assignment is to define trust and go on a few dates. This is going to be so much fun. I hope Juan will be watching.
Over at Charrisse’s house, Karen has stopped by in her fancy pool attire but refuses to get in the pool. Karen tells Charrisse about selling her house and how there’s no other suitable home in Potomac that compares to what she had, said someone in denial. Charrisse says, who cares, let’s get in the pool. Karen is like, no, I’ll just sit here, but let’s go on a vacation, and sit by the water in Bermuda. They argue over who will wear the crown.
We have arrived…at Monique and Chris’ lake house in Newburg, Maryland. For a kid’s first birthday. But hey, let’s get this party started! Monique hovers over the details because it’s not just a kid’s birthday party, it’s also a kid’s baby dedication, if the pastor makes it. Everyone is late because they are stuck in traffic. The caterers, the valet, the guests, but finally people start arriving and it’s on. Ashely shows up without Michael because he’s fed up at the beach.
Ashley is shocked that Monique’s attractive dad is younger than her husband. The two hit it off right away, especially when Ashley learns he’s single. They chat it up at the bar that’s at a kid’s first birthday party. Robyn arrives without Juan, what a shocker, but she brought the boys and they had a blast.
So where is Gizelle? Working out at the gym, getting ready for Bermuda, all by lonely herself.
Back at the kid’s party, the ladies talk about Bermuda. There’s tension in the air between Karen and Charrisse, who keep throwing shade. The Bermuda triangle has landed. The pastor picks up baby Milani and says let’s pray – that everyone can drive home after all the alcohol they’ve consumed. This party was da bomb!
Robyn and Gizelle are getting their lashes did for Bermuda. Gizelle is on the prowl for a billionaire, you have been warned, billionaires. Robyn tells Gizelle about the “over the top party” for a one-year old and Gizelle says even if she were invited by Monique, which she wasn’t, she would have said no, even if it meant her daughters would have had the time of their lives. Robyn tells Gizelle the two Bermuda party planners are becoming party poopers.
Over at Karen’s house, Charrisse stops by settle the Bermuda situation and learns she is only an assistant, not the co-planner of the trip. She doesn’t like this. They decide to separate and each take a day to host. Karen will host the welcome dinner and Charrisse will host a “little boat ride.” Charrisse thinks Karen is losing her mind over selling her house, but goes along with it because Charrisse thinks it’s all about her.
Across town, Ashley and Michael are on a date to make “shit out of clay.” Michael is making a dildo while Ashley is contemplating her choices. She asks Michael if he thinks they are still in love with each other. Warning! Land mines ahead. Michael says, Yup. Ashley tells him his response isn’t reassuring and she isn’t interested in “introducing a life” into the world due to their current state. Michael’s clay project droops over.
Pack your bags! Next week we are going to Bermuda! Plus, Robyn meets a man!
I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.