Get ready because on tonight’s episode of Little Women LA, Christy puts the funk in dysfunction! But we’ll get to that later, first we got a dognapping crises on our hands. Somebody stole Tonya’s dog, Angel, and she is freaking out. Rightly so. Good thing she’s got Terra’s kid’s birthday party coming up and the future awkwardness with Jasmine to distract her. Everyone is invited except Christy and Todd. No shocker there. Poor Penny. Her birthday will surely be hijacked.
Across town Jasmine and Briana are getting their weaves blown out and curled. It’s Briana’s real hair, but since the girl doesn’t know the truth if it slapped her on her ass, let’s call it fake. Remember that photo shoot with the guy from Maxim? Guess what, he didn’t follow through with any of his promises. Gee whiz, didn’t see that coming – a mile away! And the photographer completely photo-chopped Briana, transforming her face with a new nose. Jasmine recommends that Briana ask Terra for advice about her career, but advises she tell the truth. Both women are still mad at Tonya for being left out of her runway show. Poor Penny. This party is definitely going to be a downer.
Up next, Terra in walking on the treadmill under her desk. Girl knows how to multi-task, but we already knew that. She’s looking at potential book covers and doesn’t like any of them. Joe, the loving husband he is, points out she has an elbow-vagina in one photo. Terra has two weeks left to finish the book and get the releases. The title she wants is “How Not to Be a Midget.” You know it’s bad when Joe cringes. Plus the publisher told her no effing way. Here are their suggestions: “Walking Tall” and “Terra: Little but Fierce.” The plan is to get the ladies to sign the releases during cake and presents. Poor Penny. This party is not going to be about her.
Onto the music video with Christy. It’s a music spoof video called: “You’re Just Not Tall Enough.” Here’s one of the great lines Christy lip-syncs to while rolling on a piano, “I’m a midget, but midgets still need love.” This word is a big no-no. But here’s the deal. Apparently, ten years ago, Terra was in a movie she thought was going to be called, “A Tribute to Big Red” however the name was changed to “Midgets Versus Mascots.” Christy gave Terra crap about this. The plan is to raise hell with Christy about the video…after she signs the release.
Tonya and Christy are at an active wear store to check out the competition and see if they will carry her Boss Wear line. Good news about the dog, they got Angel back after they paid his ransom. Let’s say a quick prayer to karma and her awesome power! But Tonya is still not happy because everything in her world is falling apart. Christy asks what’s troubling her, but is only waiting for Tonya to finish talking so she can change the conversation to Todd’s surgery and how this affects her.
Elena and Jasmine are at a Hollywood museum and go to the blonde room to see Marilyn Monroe’s necklace. Jasmine tells Elena seeing Tonya will be extremely awkward but she’s sick to death of being walked over. Elena plays both sides of the fence and recommends that Jasmine accept Tonya’s apology like she accepted Terra’s apology. Jasmine says no one hears her unless she yells – so prepare for yelling at a two year-old’s birthday party. Poor Penny. Hopefully Jasmine will just blend in with the other whining and crying kids.
Terra meets up with Christy to discuss the book and the stories she wants to put in it. Like when Terra first moved to LA and met Christy at her party and had to follow her to the hospital when Christy got dropped on her head by the bouncer. Christy is ambivalent about signing a release. Terra confronts Christy about her midget music video. With her sad face, Christy says this was 2012 and she needed the money, but wants to strike a deal. You see, Christy is also writing a book (cough, bullshit) about her recovery and will sign a release if Terra will sign a release. Terra expresses her fear of retaliation and Christy says she won’t be vindictive. Seriously? Filing a police report after being hit in the head with a plastic cup is the very definition of vindictive.
We are now at Elena and Preston’s house as she tells her husband they are being forced to have been invited to Penny’s birthday party. Preston wants to know if they get to cause a scene like Terra did. Elena says no. Meanwhile, their kids in the background are so adorable. Elena tells Preston she’s pretty sure shit will go down between Tonya and Jasmine at the party. Poor Penny. There’s nothing more to say than that.
Jasmine and Christy are at a juicing store getting stuff for Todd’s liquid diet. They try to take an immunity shot but it’s too spicy. Jasmine mentions she’s embarrassed about storming out of Tonya’s party. Christy tells Jasmine all of Tonya’s bidness: 1) the manufacturer of her active wear line messed up everything 2) her dog was stolen and held for ransom 3) she’s on blood pressure meds. Lawdy, hopefully the Bells Palsy doesn’t come back. Jasmine plans to apologize to Tonya. Christy then tells Jasmine that Terra wants her to sign a release and how she “needs to sleep on it.” More suffering gushes from Christy about Todd’s surgery.
Finally, it’s surgery time for Todd. Christy is so nervous she’s a farting fool. This is a very dangerous surgery but so is the alternative for Todd, and he is the picture of calm. The procedure will only 60 to 90 minutes, which is incredible. Christy tells Todd he is the love of her life. Todd says they need to take that honeymoon they never took when this is all over. Damn, y’all! Whatcha waiting for? They kiss goodbye.
It’s sad that Christy is in the waiting room all by herself. Her daughter isn’t there. Her parents aren’t there. Her friends – if she has any – aren’t there. The doctor comes out to tell her that everything went well and to get ready for the new and improved Todd.
It’s party time! And there’s a petting zoo! Yay, potential E-Coli contamination! Terra’s brother Bourne came out for the party. He’s little, too. Elena shows up without her kids because they are at home teething and being grumpy. Tonya shows up dressed like it’s a funeral. Briana tells Terra she needs to give her lawyer the release before she signs anything. But we know she doesn’t really have a lawyer.
Jasmine gives Tonya a kiss and an orchid. Swerve! Tonya is stunned into silence. Perfect. Maybe Penny’s party wont’ be a pooper. The group sings happy birthday and it’s a nice drama free day – or is it? Terra whips out the Christy’s music video for the ladies and pushes play. The women watch with their mouths hanging open in disgust.
Tune in next week as Briana and Terra fight for the word “fierce” for their book titles. Unless Briana’s book is called, “How Not to Be Fierce” this is a no brainer.
I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.