Hello, my red-eye gravy lovers! It’s time for another episode of . This week, Craig Conover and his girlfriend, Naomie, decide to seek therapy for their issues. Naomie wants better communication. Craig wants Naomie to have his back. Therapist Ward tells Naomie to quit avoiding arguments, and he gives the couple instructions for a fair fight. Naomie doesn’t like it when Craig raises his voice, but Craig says that being from the north makes him naturally louder. Naomie points out that being a Yankee isn’t the same as being an asshole. Uh oh. Naomie just violated rule number two: don’t call each other names. When Craig admits that her insults hurt his feelings, Naomie calls him a “sensitive little guy.” Ouch!
Landon Clements meets Austen Kroll at a dive bar for drinks and dinner. Austen brings up the hunting trip, admitting that he curbed his booze intake so that Chelsea Meissner would let him get to home base. Landon claims she needs a real relationship. She’s over her young boyfriend, Drew. Austen asks if Landon could seriously go for Thomas Ravenel. His tight white jeans aren’t the only thing attractive about T-Rav, after all. He’s carrying around a mighty large bank balance, too. Landon isn’t interested in Thomas just because he has money. When Shep Rose arrives, he finds he’s been downgraded. Austen is the new fun dude in Landon’s life. Or as Landon calls him, the #NewShep. Shep, of course, think Austen and Landon are attracted to one another, but Landon brings up Chelsea. Shep goes in for a dig, saying that though Chelsea might have found Austen studly during the quail hunt, when they got back to town, she probably saw Austen for the hippy loser he really is. Shep says it with a flash of his Chiclet smile, but he isn’t joking. Austen points out that he and Chelsea really like each other. In fact, they had an in depth discussion about their feelings “the morning after.” Touché, Austen.
Thomas drops by his father’s office. Arthur Jr. has a painting of Thomas from his Citadel days hanging on the wall. The historic house/office hasn’t been updated in fifty years. Thomas wants to spruce the place up and sell it for a few million — now that he and his sibs have taken over the real estate portfolio from Pops.
Thomas never saw much of his father growing up because his dad was always working. Then there was the fact that when T-Rav was 10-years-old, his parents got a divorce. It took a toll on Thomas’ emotional development. The youngest of six, Thomas was left alone with his mother and brother, who had Downs Syndrome. Though T-Rav’s siblings are married, Thomas is still struggling to have a decent relationship. He’s always craved his father’s love and approval. Being single isn’t earning Thomas any points with his dad.
Austen and Chelsea go to a sports center where they can jump on trampolines. Chelsea is playing it cool, giving Austen a bit of a hard time. He’s giving it right back by popping a woody after planting a sweaty kiss on her lips. Then things turn serious. Austen talks about his family, how he’s close with his younger sister. He finally opens up and shares that his older sister, Kyle, passed away when she was just 10-years-old by falling to her death at Chimney Rock. Chelsea tears up at Austen’s confession. The reason his parents had another baby was so that he wouldn’t be an only child. The moment seems to have brought them closer together.
At Patricia Altschul’s house, she lounges in one of her many kaftans while her friend, Georgette Mosbacher, comes strolling down the stairway. The two bonded twenty-five years ago in New York over their love of guns. Patricia is planning an Indian-themed dinner party, not only to celebrate Georgette’s arrival in Charleston, but to promote their kaftan business. But wait! Not just any kaftan company, but one that bears a print of the owner’s pet. (Here’s looking at you, Chauncey!) Georgette only hopes the Charmed “kids” behave themselves at dinner or otherwise she’s staging a walkout!
Kathryn Dennis, Thomas’ baby mama, stops by Chelsea’s salon for a haircut. Kathryn reminds us that in less than a week, baby Saint will be a year old, but since she and Thomas don’t speak, they won’t be having a joint birthday party. Well, Kathryn might be having a “joint”, but that’s a different kind of party. Kathryn wrote Thomas a letter, hoping they can start communicating with each other. Kathryn misses Thomas and wants him feel loved. According to her, Thomas needs his father’s approval, yet never feels worthy of it. Kathryn is happy she was able to have a “child” so that Arthur Jr. could finally be proud of his youngest son. Wait, didn’t Kathryn give birth to two children? (How did that paternity test turn out, anyway?) Kathryn would like to see Thomas again so that she can apologize. During a montage of Thomas cuddling his adorable children, tender music plays in the background. Kathryn says she only stayed with Thomas in order to prove that there are good people in the world who will stand by his side. I feel like she’s rewriting history by glossing over their tumultuous relationship. But then Kathryn puts it all into perspective when she says that while Thomas may be an asshole, he’s still a good person.
Meanwhile, Thomas and JD talk about Kathryn’s letter. Thomas says it was heartfelt, but he’s still mistrustful of her intentions. Kathryn wants to make amends and co-parent with Thomas. Could this be a trap or is she for real?
At home, Naomie and Craig get ready for the Indian dinner and agree to put on a good display for everyone. Mainly because therapy sucked, and they don’t want to go through it again. Craig reminds Naomie not to treat him like shit, no matter what stupid words come out of his mouth. Yep, that session with Ward was super helpful.
Ready for their big evening, Patricia and Georgette are dressed in their doggy print kaftans. The table is decorated with elephants, because there’s nothing Patricia likes more than a good theme. Patty’s son, Whitney Sudler-Smith brings Daisy, the British girl/escort from previous episodes. Georgette and Patricia oooh and aaah over Whitney’s silk, camouflage-lined suit. Cameran Eubanks and Landon arrive dressed in saris. Thomas shows up and greets all the ladies. Naomie and Craig follow, and Shep is the last to arrive. Michael, the butler, gets into the spirit by donning a turban to announce dinner. Whitney reminds everyone to refrain from using profanity because Georgette has tender ears.
Over a dinner of curry and slaw, Craig expounds on last week’s hunting trip, but Patricia cuts him off by clinking her glass. She shows off Georgette’s mammoth Golconda diamond from India. The rock is so huge, Cameran yells out, “Holy sh*t.” Georgette raises her her brows in shock! Then Craig asks if, “crap,” is also a four letter word. Whitney shakes his head, seemingly unable to believe the crassness of his castmates. This from a man who plays in a band called Renob — Boner, backward. Yeah, you’re all class, Whitney. Anyhoo, Georgette says anyone can learn good manners, no matter if you’re rich or poor. Georgette is just chockfull of advice, even about relationships. Her motto is to forgive and let go. The camera pans on Naomi and Craig who are squirming uncomfortably in their seats.
A psychic Indian healer, Angie, stops by after dinner. The Charmed Ones can’t ask questions for themselves. They have to ask on behalf of each other. Thomas wonders if Cam will ever be a mom. According to Angie, yep, three times! Shep want to know if Craig will ever admit that he doesn’t want to be a lawyer. Angie schooled Shep, saying the law actually is Craig’s passion, and he’ll pass the bar with no problem. (That’s two for two, Psychic Angie!) She also tells the group that Craig and Naomie are soulmates. Shep thinks this lady is a fake, especially when Angie tells Shep he’s not marriage material, yet his deepest fear is being alone forever. Shep disagrees, saying his fear is the monotony of monogamy. Landon has a “soul connection,” with someone in the room (cough, Thomas, cough). Still, Angie refuses to mention T-Rav by name. Whitney will have kids one day, and Patricia will be alive to see it.
Then Thomas sits in the hot seat. Whitney questions Thomas’ future with Kathryn, then tells everyone that Kathryn reached out to him to make amends. Landon believes Kathryn is simply trying to get back into the group through Whitney. Angie doesn’t have an answer — somehow the spirits are quiet where Thomas and Kathryn are concerned. But that’s okay because the group starts fighting amongst themselves. Cam thinks they should all stay out of Thomas’ business. Craig thinks Kathryn is sincere. And Shep believes they should all forgive Kathryn and take the high road. Landon is freaking tired of taking the high road, you guys! Craig points out that Landon couldn’t find the high road with a map and a GPS tied around her neck. Georgette is weary of the “kids” arguing — and Shep’s repeated use of the f-word.
After everyone leaves, Shep and Craig continue to fight with Cameran outside. Shep thinks they should be polite to Kathryn and give her a second chance. Cam says she and Kathryn aren’t friends. In fact, they’ve never even hung out. Shep calls her out for that ridiculous excuse since they’re on the same reality show, but Cam maintains that everyone should steer clear of T-Rav and Kathryn’s private mess.
So, do you agree with Cam, or do you think Shep has a point? How many more times will Craig and Naomie have to go see the therapist before they stop calling each other names? And will Austen and Chelsea make it for the long haul or will Shep come between them?