We join The Real Housewives of Potomac where we left off last week – Gizelle being kicked out of Monique’s card party and Ashley gossiping about Juan’s cheating ways. Most of the women are gathered out front, so motor-mouth Monique goes to see what’s going on. Being the long-winded person Monique is, I’ll break down what she said: Gizelle you’re cold, please leave.
Onto the card playing, however, Juan keeps checking his phone and this puts a bug up Ashley’s butt. She whispers to Karen, Girl, I’ve got some tea to spill on you, and off they go to dish. Charrisse joins them to hear the word on the street is Juan is cheating. Robyn can see that something’s up so she joins the ladies and informs Ashley that she and Juan are not married anymore. Robyn wants to clock Ashley, not Juan, when she needs to clock both. Charrisse asks Ashley what exactly she wants Robyn to do about it. Get this, Ashley wants some acknowledgment. Little girl, ain’t none of yo bidness.
Karen sticks up for Ashley, as someone who cares. Charrisse tells Ashley to go focus on her own boring relationship to the old skinny guy. Once again Monique has to crash the side party and tell these women to start dancing. Ashley calls over to Juan and tries to get him to join them. Juan’s like, Just dance your ass away. Ashley’s concern with Juan is turning into an obsession.
Next up, we join Karen and Ray with their real estate agent. Ray wants to downsize and Karen wants to right size. The problem is, their house is lingering on the market and attracting the bottom feeders. Karen is insulted. Her vision of the new owner is a classy and snooty bitch, much like herself, but one who loves the 1980’s. Karen refuses to have an open house because she doesn’t want her tacky neighbors walking through her house – like they can’t laugh at in online. Time is money, girl.
Gizelle is meeting up with her friend and hairstylist, Hal, for breakfast and to try her new makeup on him. He calls her makeup, undetectable. Gizelle explains her ten year plan for Every Hue is to be able to tell everyone “F.U. up the butt in a major way.” They discuss Monique’s party and how Gizelle was unimpressed with her home, despite the lovely fish tank. What Gizelle really didn’t like was the news about Juan’s cheating black ass. Being the last to know sucks, kind of like poor Charrisse and her situation. Gizelle grins. She explains that her friends deserve to be happy with or without a man. And that’s why Gizelle is working so hard on her makeup line – because she doesn’t have a man to pay her way.
Across town, Charisse drops by a dress shop because she simply cannot wear the same dress twice to a charity event. Oh the horror. Ashley drops by in time to see Charisse in a horrendous peach dress. Charisse’s cold wall comes up when Ashley tells her the dress has too much fabric. Charrisse tells Ashley she’s being messy, talking about Juan and Robyn. Ashley says she ain’t no little girl, except when it comes to her old man, then she is. Charrisse tells her she is five seconds away from being effed up, so Ashley walks out so not to be effed up, but not before Charrisse launches a final blow and tells her good luck having babies with the old man’s slow sperm. The dress shop owner clutches her pearls, hoping these ladies will leave soon.
Onto Robyn and Juan who are on a radio show and she is introduced as “his…um…partner.” The partners are there to promote their kids’ camp. Robyn walks down memory lane explaining how she used to iron Juan’s clothes, make his meals, and catch his rebounds. Bottom line: Juan owes everything to Robyn so quit cheating on this great girl.
Charrisse visits Gizelle, and the two bond over personal experiences with divorce and all the emotions that accompany it. Gizelle tells her that she will be so happy once the divorce is over. Charrisse explains that she’s having difficulty handling her emotions. Case in point, shopping for dresses with Ashley and telling her she’s going to eff her up. They discuss Ashley’s dogged pursuit of Robyn facing that fact that Juan is cheating. Charrisse and Gizelle plan a Juantervention for Robyn – but will not include Ashley because girl is whack.
Monique and Chris are meeting with their pastor and wife. We learn they are getting the home they wanted in Potomac for a mere $4.7 million cash! After Monique complains about being so busy, the Pastor asks where Chris and Monique currently are. Specifically, are they walking with God or with the devil? I wonder what Chris’ mom would say. Monique says who cares about that, she’s got Gizelle problems. In fact she said “that trick reminds her of Chris’ snooty mom.” Lovely thing to say to your pastor. He tells motor-mouth Monique to apologize to Gizelle, in the name of Jesus. Won’t that be interesting!
Instead of an open house, Ray and Karen have agreed to spontaneous private showings that require a person to leave the house at any time, instead of an open hose that would allow multiple buyers and realtors to view the home at one time. They leave so the couple can judge their home and call it outdated. The couple say they will think about it, which is the polite way to say, Oh hell no.
Time for the Juantervention by Charrisse and Gizelle! But at least it comes with Champagne – those other interventions frown upon alcohol being served. They start by slamming Ashley. Great strategy. This is something they can all agree on. Robyn says she was supposed to do an event with Ashley, but no longer wants anything to do anything with her, unless it involves throwing her across the room. The truth, according to Charisse and Gizelle, is to let Robyn know about the cheating rumors and how Robyn is doing all the work while Juan is doing nothing. Robyn says rumors are just rumors. And players are just players. And denial is just denial.
Here’s the thing, Robyn hasn’t even asked Juan if there’s a side piece because part of her doesn’t care. It’s about getting through and she wants to keep things platonic for now. Charrisse says don’t fall into the trap she did. The difference between Charrisse and Robyn is money. Robyn can’t afford two places. Of course, perhaps Juan shouldn’t be sleeping in her bed, but that’s for Charrisse and Gizelle to deal with. Baby steps right now. Charrisse and Gizelle think Robyn’s best years are passing her by and recommend she gets therapy. Robyn says she’s not broken, just broke, and she don’t need to waste good money on facing her problems.
Tune in next week when Robyn grows a pair and sticks them in Ashley’s face!