On tonight’s episode of Little Women: LA we join Matt and Briana on a date night because they have hired a nanny to take care of the kids and dogs so they don’t have to. Over dinner they briefly discuss Maverick’s sleep issues and possible surgery, but move on to Jasmine and how Matt wants Briana to get rid of her, too. And the process is complete. Briana has no one.
Next up, Christy and Tonya are taking a cake pop class. Hope Kerwin considers this cooking his meals. Tonya shares with Christy about going to the art show where Terra was the star. Christy is disappointed she wasn’t invited because she thought Terra was over that whole filing assault charges thing. Guess not. Meanwhile, there is more PR-poaching going on. And yet again it’s Briana. This time she is using Christy’s former publicist – but it’s also Briana’s former publicist too – and this is wrong for some reason. Tonya says if it slithers like a snake in the grass, it’s Briana.
Up next is a trip to the petting zoo with Elena, Preston with the twins. They meet Bear the 29 year-old miniature horse, or more politically correct, little horse. Really this is just an opportunity for Elena to tell Preston that Terra and Joe are out as godparents and Jasmine and Chris are in. Elena no longer shares a bond with Terra because she’s a fame whore who doesn’t have time to raise her own kids, let alone Elena’s. Preston says what every great husband should say, Okay, whatever you want, honey.
Terra is home pretending to clean house when her new book editor stops by. Terra has secured a book deal. See, vision boards work! They discuss expectations. Terra says she personally wants to write the book because no one can tell the roller coaster story of her life like she can. Her little person book will be different than all the others with their “woe is me” story. Terra’s message is how to be a strong person because she’s got this thing all figured out. The publisher wants the book in six weeks (cough, ghostwriter) even though typically the timelines are six months to a year. But here’s the caveat, if Terra wants to trash-talk her friends, and we know she does, she needs to get them to sign a release. I smell some ass-kissing.
Over at Tonya and Kerwin’s place, the head heifer has planned a fun evening. Chef T is there to teach Kerwin how to cook. Say what? Kerwin thought Tonya was supposed to take care of everything while he just sits around. Thank goodness Chef T is so smooth. She tells Kerwin he will be her sous chef. Kind of how we talk to six-year olds. After the meal is prepared Tonya lays down the law and says since she’s the provider, Kerwin needs to wear a skirt and have the meal on the table when she gets home. Kerwin threatens to mosey back to Texas if he’s not catered to, and stomps off to his room to pout.
Christy is meeting up with Terra because it’s time for some ass-kissing. Let’s face it, they haven’t done this since #glassgate. Christy asks, What’s the deal with Briana? Terra tells her about Briana and her agent-poaching and says she owes Christy an apology because Briana is the common denominator, emphasis on common. Christy asks Terra why she keeps forgiving Briana but won’t give her another chance. Duh. Briana didn’t try to get Terra arrested…yet. Have you ever noticed that Christy looks like Grumpy Cat when she makes her frowny face? Anyway, Terra explains the reason she didn’t call Christy when she nearly died on the operating table is because they aren’t friends. How’s that for compassion?
These heifers need to lose their baby weight, according to Tonya, so she sets up indoor bubble soccer for all the ladies. It looks dangerous. The ladies run around in hamster balls while kicking the ball into the net, but fun to watch. Christy arrives with her megaphone to cheer everyone on, but can’t play. Terra loves the chance to bump and trip Briana. Score! After the game, Terra sits down with the women and shares that she has a book deal. Briana is like, hey wait, I’ve been writing a book for two years so this proves she’s slow thought of it first. Terra asks the girls to sign the release. Elena tells Terra that once again she is putting her family second and now feels good about her decision to fire Terra and Joe as their twins’ godparents.
During lunch, Christy brings up the Instagram posts to Briana about their old PR agency. The rest of girls question why of all the PR companies in LA, Briana was so shady to go to the one she used before she stopped paying the other publicist. Everyone except Jasmine. She doesn’t say a word. Christy calls Briana a user through the megaphone and leaves.
Briana and Matt are at home, breaking a mobile on poor Maverick’s face. What a trooper! The kid doesn’t even cry. He must be used to his parent’s screw-ups by now. Briana tells Matt about Christy’s jealousy over going back to their old PR person, but doesn’t care because she is focusing on her modeling career. Plus, Maverick may need surgery on his spine. So there’s that, too. Get this, Matt recommends that Briana talk with Terra, even though he hates her, but knows Terra went through this with Penny.
Terra and Tonya meet up to have gelato and trash-talk Kerwin. Tonya says if they can’t move forward then they will need to move on. Terra explains there needs to be more compromise – because she knows all about compromise. Finger crossed she shares that in her book! Terra tells Tonya that Briana has reached out to her to talk and Joe thinks it may be about Maverick because of all the over-sharing Briana and Matt have been doing on social media about how California insurance sucks and their son needs an MRI. Terra and Tonya agree that their new French bulldog they spent thousands on could have provided five MRI’s. Terra doesn’t want to meet up with Briana and pretend like she gives a damn, but knows she must to secure the signed release.
So the ladies meet up and Briana tells Terra that Maverick stops breathing on average six times a night. Terra recommends Penny’s doctor. And an MRI. Terra tells her if she doesn’t do the decompression surgery, Maverick could be paralyzed from the neck down. That’s some scary shit. Terra throws Briana a bone and gives her a hug. Then Terra starts crying, too, because she had to be the family cheerleader, and how “woe is me” the whole thing was. Terra tells Briana she needs to grateful for Matt and hope he stands by her during this time. Briana thanks Terra and tells her she values her as a friend. Terra does not say it back to Briana.
Elena and Preston invite Jasmine and Chris over to pop the godparent question. Nothing like having an elliptical machine right at the front door, making it difficult for people to come in. When Elena asks, Chris and Jasmine’s eyes light up like it’s Christmas morning, and say yes. And to think these two used to hate each other. Jasmine and Elena go into the kitchen and Jasmine brings up Terra. She is scared of Terra’s wrath, but Elena assures Jasmine that Terra’s wrath will be directed at her. We know it will be directed at both of them. But maybe Terra won’t notice because she’s too busy writing a book.
Tune in next week when Terra gets a health scare and then walks out on Elena’s twin-baptism party.
I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.