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#RHOP Recap: Monique Kicks Gizelle Out & Juan’s Seeing Another Woman!

I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.

On this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Potomac, things apparently gets messy at Monique’s BBQ. So we begin with Monique meeting with her event planner and cousin Hank to get this party started. Monique informs Hank that their offer on the Potomac mansion was turned down because the low blow offer insulted the owners. She also tells Hank to hit on Charrisse at her party because she has big boobs and hasn’t had any in two years.

Up next, Charrisse stops by her rich friend Amber’s house who is hosting a final event before they kick Charrisse out of the National Basketball Wives Assoc. They say they don’t want her to go, so since Amber has a full basketball court in her home, and who doesn’t, Charrisse will shoot a basket to determine if she’ll leave the organization. She shoots – she misses – so long Charrisse.

Over at Ashley’s restaurant, Oz, the numbers are getting worse by the week so Robyn stops by to help with her PR magic. The reviews for Oz are so horrendous Robyn recommends revamping the Australian menu. Let’s get real, besides a blooming onion, ain’t no one craving kangaroo sliders. In return for Robyn’s sage advice, Ashely tells Robyn to dump her cheating man Juan and gold dig her way to a man who will sail her around the world. Robyn politely tells Ashley to STFU. She has no intentions of being like Ashley, who clearly married for money.

Karen and her sister Bridget stop by to pick up a cake for their mother’s 70th birthday. It’s a very lovely cake and Bridget approves. Unfortunately, their mom was diagnosed with early dementia and dad has suffered a stroke, but now that Karen is an empty nester she will be able to give Bridgette more help with mom and dad.

It’s event time! But not the exciting BBQ with Monique, the boring basketball wives event with Charrisse. First of all, it’s in the daytime. Hey, I love day-drinking, but not in formal wear. Robyn and Juan arrive together. Monique and her husband Chris arrive and she drones on–and–on–and–on about her babies and all their problems. Robyn is so talented, she falls asleep standing up. Charrisse makes an announcement that she is rebranding, going into a new chapter, or a new book, or maybe a new set of encyclopedias, but this will require her to drop one of her last names. Let’s eat.

At the table, Monique asks Juan if he thinks he and Robyn got married too young – to explain their failed marriage. Juan’s answer: most definitely. Translation: Hell yeah. Then Monique asks if Robyn and Juan would consider getting married again to each other. Juan’s answer: we get along really well. Translation: No way. Then Monique explains to Juan that she and Chris fight really hard to keep their tightness. Juan’s answer: you should cuz once it’s gone, it’s gone. Translation: It’s gone.

Gizelle is having a business meeting to discuss her new makeup line, Every Hue, that’s almost ready to launch. First, they gorge on food, then they get down to business by rubbing samples on their hands and discussing the difference between matte and satin. Gizelle wants to be her own woman, not a woman like Monique who’s biggest achievement is marrying well, but I think we all know Gizelle would change places in a Potomac moment.

Next, we celebrate Karen’s mom’s 70th birthday at a nice restaurant. Her dad can’t be there to celebrate because he’s still recovering. If you ask me, mom has a great memory. She remembers clearly how demanding Karen was as a child and how she pushed her little sister Bridget into a dresser. Good times.

Robyn stops by Gizelle’s house to update her on Charrisse’s embarrassing name-dropping speech. Poor thang, was she drinking? Robyn also tells Gizelle that Monique doesn’t know when to shut it down. Don’t lock Robyn in a room with Monique and Karen, she may slit her wrists. Gizelle says she’ll go to Monique’s event with, “an open mind even though Monique don’t know who she is besides Chris Samuel’s wife.” Because Gizelle has always known who she is. Girl, please.

Here’s what’s cool about the BBQ, Monique and Chris do their own cooking. Most people would just cater. Not them and it looks de-lish. Gizelle arrives and doesn’t hug Monique when she struts in the door wearing a cape in 90 degree weather and wastes time announcing that Monique really didn’t make everything. But Monique’s girl, Gigi has her back. When she hears Gizelle whispering to her friend, Gigi tells them they’re rude. They think Monique needs a new faucet because the one she has runs too much, but they lie and say the whispers were about the lovely fish tank.

Ashley and her skinny Australian husband arrive with kangaroo jerky that nobody wants. Ashley bee-lines it for the kitchen to inform Gizelle she heard that Juan is cheating again. She doesn’t want Robyn to end up like Charrisse, and won’t stop until Robyn meets another rich skinny Aussie like her. Gizelle says she doesn’t want to talk about it in front of “Miss I-can’t-stop-talking.” Unfortunately for Gizelle, she is “Miss I-have-bad-timing” because she says it in front of Monique’s bestie who quickly reports to Monique.

In marches Monique to inform Gizelle she can stand wherever she damn well wants and talk as much as she damn well wants. This is her house. Monique tells Gizelle she’s being disrespectful and Gizelle tells Monique she’s being aggressive. Thank the Lord Monique’s pastor is on the way, but not before Monique tells Gizelle to leave! This is Gizelle’s third time to be kicked out of a party. Girl knows how to make an exit. When Ashley explains it takes a while to warm up to Gizelle, Monique calls Gizelle a “stuck up trick.”

When Robyn hears Gizelle was told to leave, she goes out front to see for herself. Gizelle tells Robyn what Ashley said about Juan and defends not discussing the cheating scandal in front of Monique. Then Ashley follows because she’s good at sticking her nose where it don’t belong. Then Charrisse arrives. She’s a hot mess who needs a hug. The women are chatting, getting along, and the party is clearly in the front yard, but this does not sit well with Monique. She marches out front and wants to know why everyone is having fun without her.

To be continued…

 

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