On part three of The Real Housewives of Atlanta season 9 reunion, we start off with the men (Bob Whitfield, Todd Tucker, and Peter Thomas) joining the women on stage. Andy Cohen questions Bob about his lighthearted treatment of his abuse toward ex-wife, Sheree Whitfield. Bob seems apologetic — mostly because he received such negative public backlash — and says he cherishes Sheree. She thinks they can continue a friendship for the sake of their kids, but she’ll never take him back.
Cynthia Bailey says she and ex-husband, Peter, text on a regular basis, but in reality, Peter has more contact with Cynthia’s daughter, Noelle, than with Cynthia herself. There were many reasons for the divorce. Cynthia was resentful for Peter. While she doesn’t come right out and say he’s a cheater and a business failure who siphoned off her money, you can read between the lines when Cynthia admits there was so much drama and stress surrounding her marriage, she just couldn’t take any more. Peter, speaking about himself in the third person, is adamant that he never slept with his staff. While he hasn’t had sex with his wife for over a year, he’s now making up for lost time, but he will always, always love Cynthia. I half expect Peter to break out his best Whitney Houston impersonation and am a little disappointed when he just grumbles his way through the rest of the segment.
Next, Andy asks Porsha Williams why her boyfriend, Todd, didn’t show up for the reunion. But Peter butts in and demands to know Todd’s whereabouts. Porsha says that Todd has been supportive by texting her all day, but they’re on pause. Part of their problem could be the baby-nup she wanted him to sign. As Porsha tries to explain her reasoning for such a document, Peter mumbles in the background, “Who does that?” Phaedra Parks has been against Porsha having a baby on her own because Porsha deserves “the whole package.” Peter interrupts again, asking if Phaedra has the whole package. When she reminds him that she’s now divorced (although a judge claims otherwise) Peter tells her that “life ain’t perfect, baby.” When Porsha denies having sex with Todd before the episode where he snuck into her mother’s house, Peter says, “I’m out of here.”
Never one to miss out on a dramatic moment, Peter gets up and walks off the set. Andy is confused by his sudden departure, and we hear Peter yelling in the background, “Where’s the drink, man?” And by drink, he means the men’s room. He stomps inside, takes off his jacket, and talks about Phaedra and Porsha being full of shit. Then he speaks directly into the camera and addresses Cynthia, saying he wishes she were stronger because they were amazing together. Goodbye, Peter — sorry you’ll never get that peach.
Once Todd and Bob leave the stage, we see footage of Shamea Morton and Phaedra trading slut-shaming insults throughout the season. As for her friendship with Shamea, Porsha says they haven’t spoken since that episode aired — the one where Phaedra accuses Shamea of being in a three way relationship with Kandi Burruss and Todd. Andy poses a question: if Porsha is best friends with Shamea, shouldn’t she have her BFF’s back over Phaedra? Porsha’s brilliant response. “Well, you would think that.” Yeah. We would. Porsha starts to apologize for how Shamea felt after the sex accusations. Kenya butts in and points out that it isn’t about Shamea’s feelings, but the fact that Porsha cosigned Phaedra’s accusations. Kenya and Porsha shout at each other to shut the f*ck up. Kenya says she will leave the stage before she allows anyone to tell her to shut the f*ck up. Porsha she says, “Tootles, bitch.” Then Kenya claps back with the best line of the night when she says, “Elvis has left the building.” Since Porsha is rocking a pompadour hairdo and a shiny batwinged outfit, she does bear a resemblance to the King.
We are forced to endure a Phaedra and Porsha best friend montage. As they dance and shake their asses, Kandi has a puss on her face, and Kenya checks herself in a compact mirror rather than watch Frick and Frack act whack. Kandi says it’s merely an alliance for the cameras and not a true friendship. Then Shamea warns Porsha not to leave her credit card or license around since Phaedra is involved in “fraudulent activity.” Oh, yes she did!
Phaedra defends herself about the lesbian rumors regarding Kandi by saying she was trying to get back at Shamea. Kandi was just collateral damage. Porsha reminds them that Phaedra was the one who stated Shamea was having sex with the Kandi-coated couple. Phaedra and Shamea start yelling at each other to the amusement of the rest of the women, and Porsha tries to squeeze out a tear or two, because it’s so hard being trapped in the middle of these feuding women. She loves them both!
Then we finally get into the rumors about Kandi, threesomes, and that sex dungeon, along with Porsha’s drunken proposal to Kandi and her accusations about Kandi wanting to drug her. Todd comes back to sit behind his wife in a show of support. Kandi points out that she never hid the fact that she’s been with women in the past. Of course Andy wants to know all the details, down to how many experiences she’s had. Under ten, for the record. Porsha tries to play off her damaging comments, but her implication was clear. Phaedra uses a technicality as her excuse. Phaedra never takes responsibility for starting the rumors about Kandi because she never said the word “lesbian.” That would imply that Kandi only sleeps with women. Phaedra would never throw around baseless accusations like that. She claims she heard about these sexual adventures from other people’s mouths, but never reveals whose mouth. Todd shoots back that he could spill a lot of tea about Phaedra too “but the Feds are still watching.” Ouch!
Meanwhile, Porsha denies she ever wanted to go Downtown Julie Brown on Kandi. Andy finally touches on the allegation that Kandi wanted to drug Porsha and drag her to the sex dungeon. Porsha says she was told this last year, and because she’s a journalist on Dish Nation, she only deals in facts. Um… Anyhoodle, Porsha heard the rumor straight from Phaedra’s lips, so it must be true. And since Kandi issued a cease and desist letter to Porsha, Phaedra will now be speaking on Porsha’s behalf.
And so we’ve reached the conclusion of part three. Part four looks insane! Question: who’s the bigger weasel, Phaedra or Porsha? And will we ever get the truth out of either one?