Little Women: LA never disappoints with their over-the-top antics — and Tuesday night’s episode kicked off with Terra opening a can of whoop ass on Briana.
The women are still at the Tequila tasting and Terra says it’s about not going to the women’s march, but this whole tiff is really about the agent-poaching. Still? When will Terra get over this? Briana will never admit it. Move on already. What a waste of good Tequila.
Elena has returned from Russia and her father’s funeral. As she and Terra sit by a pond, she explains her roller coaster of emotions because Elena’s relationship with her father was complicated. Elena cries over the fact that her children will never get to meet him. Terra tells Elena about Mary and her clothing line. Elena says she’s open to meeting her and seeing her clothing line, but won’t help no matter if she likes Mary or not. Welcome back, Elena.
Up next, Briana is meeting with Mary to secure her spot in the fashion show and make sure Mary doesn’t think she’s an agent-poaching, delusional liar. Briana tells Mary about being approached by the Maxim photographer and how she’s ready to take her lack-of modeling career to the next level. Briana asks Mary her thoughts about the girls. Surprisingly, Mary says she likes everyone but Tonya. Briana says that Tonya is a headstrong go-getter, just like Mary. Good luck being in the fashion show, Briana. Mary says she was invited by Terra to go to the sexual health expo. Briana was invited too, though she doesn’t know why. Mary suggests it may be a peace-offering, but Briana thinks it may be a trap.
If nothing else, the encounter with Mary has made Tonya work on her active-wear line. Her new deadline date is the end of the month for LA Fashion Week. Her daughter Angelique is concerned the new project will be stored in the garage like last year’s fashion line. Next topic, Tonya tells Angelique about Mary, but says she’s more pissed off at the heifer Terra for not being supportive of her.
Jasmine and her husband Chris take Mason out to play since most of the attention is going to little brother, Benji. She tells Chris about playing the game “Never Have I Ever” that went down the tubes because of Terra. Jasmine says she’s tired of sticking up for Briana and they aren’t as close as they used to be because of Matt. She tells Chris about being invited to the sex expo even though they don’t have time for sex since the new baby has arrived. Chris tells Jasmine to go, please, go to the sex expo.
Mary is at a sewing studio making a special design for Terra because she will “bring it” on the runway with her bad-girl attitude. Terra stops by with Elena. Mary gives Elena a compliment about being a beautiful woman who can wear a beautiful dress, but Elena says, hold the phone. She wants to trash see the designs first before she agrees to anything. We learn this is Mary’s first collection. Elena asks if there are littles in London because why does she have to come to all the way to America. (Good question – some have suggested it may be a segue to Little Women: London.)
Terra is embarrassed and tells Elena she sounds like a bull dog. You see, Elena designed a collection once that went nowhere and that’s probably where her “frustration” is coming from. Mary says she’s a couture designer, big difference. Mary and Elena get into it and I need subtitles to keep up, but basically Elena says her line is basic and has been done before. Elena walks out and Terra follows. Mary says to hell with little people.
We are at the Maxim photoshoot and of course Matt has accompanied Briana. Who is home with the baby? Perhaps the new puppy is watching Maverick. Briana thinks she’s so lucky to have a supportive husband who makes her feel sexy. Yeah, you are so lucky, Briana. But here’s the thing, just like Terra went on DWTS too soon, this photo shoot is too soon after Briana birthed her baby. First she comes out in red panties and a white fur stole. But for the photoshoot she wears a white tee-shirt tied at her stomach. Briana thinks she looks good and that’s all that matters – I guess. The photographer tells Briana she has great…wait for it…expressions. Briana is so excited because she didn’t need Terra’s agent after all and she can’t wait until the magazine comes out to shove it in those bitches’ faces.
Elsewhere, Tonya and Elena are trying on glasses. They also trash-talk Mary. And Tonya is pissed off at Terra for telling Mary she’s taking too long with her clothing line. Who does that heifer think she is? Terra is supportive of Mary and her international fame, but not her. Elena is dreading going to the sex expo now that Mary is going. And Tonya will not be going so no one will have her to kick around.
We are at the sex health expo! Terra and Mary are first to arrive and Terra apologizes for Elena’s bitchy attitude. Mary says she will also apologize to Elena for her own bitchy attitude. Christy wasn’t invited by Terra, but Jasmine brings her anyway. And Christy is interested in the sex toys since Todd is too fat to have sex. Briana walks up and it’s an icy hello from Terra. Same with Elena, but she’s icy with Mary. Hopefully all the women will buy sex toys.
Terra tries the yoga sex swing in her fishnet unitard. Next, Jasmine and Terra try the doggy-style sleigh. Don’t forget the spanking machine that Christy plays like bongos. Mary tries to apologize for hurting or offending Elena and Elena says she wasn’t hurt or offended – even though she was. Elena says that although she wasn’t a big fan of Mary’s designs of dresses with a flag slapped on, she’s sorry for trashing her collection. Of course, this doesn’t mean Elena will be friends with her. Mary assures her she’s not forcing anyone to be in her fashion show.
The next two to talk are Briana and Jasmine. Something about a sex expo that makes women want to talk, I guess. Briana tells her that the fight at the Tequila tasting was between her and Terra and she didn’t like how Jasmine jumped in. Especially if she wasn’t going to take Briana’s side – then shut the hell up. Briana says Jasmine is so far up Terra’s ass and she needs to get off the Terra bandwagon. Jasmine is stunned into momentary silence, but then says there’s nothing wrong with saying that Briana was inspired by Terra. Girl, we all know “inspired” is code for “obsessed.” Briana says if you don’t have anything wonderful to say about her, then don’t say anything at all. Jasmine says they are not getting anywhere and she is now pissed off because she has had Briana’s back from day one and this is a jealousy issue. Jasmine grows a pair and walks off.
Tune in next week when Todd learns he has an extreme case of sleep apnea and very little oxygen is getting to his brain and Mary has her fashion show.