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#RHOP Recap: Monique’s Mother-In-Law From Hell ‘Gets Her Straight!’

We get to see more of Monique’s world this episode. What I will tell you is that no matter what this young lady is doing, she always has a smile on her face or is hysterically laughing. I want what she is having. As wifey, Monique is folding laundry with her best friend GiGi (who is also cracking up while guzzling Jesus Juice a/k/a wine), they joke about the size of Chris’ underpants and how Monique has a white servant. Yup. Gigi also lets it slip that she “knows” Eddie, Charrisse’s husband. Catch that tea.  M’kay. They discuss the high tea and all things GizelleMonique feels Gizelle might be a problem, but she can handle the green-eyed one. Besides, she has bigger fish to fry. You see, Monique’s hubby is receiving an induction into Alabama’s Sports Hall of Fame at the tender age of 38, which is a big deal. However, his momma is a bigger deal and she and the entire gang of in laws are attending. Something tells me Ms. Monique isn’t too fond of Mama Samuels. More on that later.  By the way, Monique has the cutest kiddies.

Charrisee is joining the “I’m building a Champagne Room Club” for housewives. Hey why not, I hope she has stock in Champs because she is sipping quite a bit these days. Hey, it only costs $92,000. That is a drop in the bucket for Ms. Charrisse.

Next up, Gizelle is meeting Robyn at the nail salon. I guess she needs to get those claws sharpened before sinking them into Robyn for talking smack to Karen about her behind her back. Robyn right away starts talking about her home life and how she is planning to invite the ladies to Baltimore, MD’s Preakness Stakes — as a diversion tactic. Gizelle is interested in the guest list because she wants to mend fences with Charrisse — which is a GREAT transition into asking Robyn why was she speaking against her with Karen. Robyn explains her actions as:  she wasn’t mad at Gizelle for telling Charrisse‘s business, she was mad at her execution. Ok.  Of course, Robyn a/k/a Chicken Little said something TOTALLY different in her talking head — namely that she is questioning her friendship with Gizelle because she doesn’t trust that Gizelle will keep all her dark secrets about Juan — should they have a falling out. She added, “well it’s not like I talked about Gizelle on national television.”  Uh honey, yes you did! But you will get to see and explain that footage where you inferred, you would kick Gizelle’s ass during the reunion, kay?

Rayvin’s home! Karen is thrilled and they gorge on strawberries and gab about college life. Rayvin was horrified that she was forced to eat a philly cheesesteak sandwich during rush week *clutching my pearls*! Karen informed her, they are selling the mansion. Rayvin was more interested in whether she’ll inherit a big house in the future.  Kids these days, such darlings. 

Robyn is taking her two sons to the dentist. We see yet again, how they treat her like the help — including telling her to “be quiet” and one placed his grubby little hand over her mouth — in public. Like father like sons. Gurl, you better get a grip or you will have some serious problems. Unfortunately, all Robyn is worried about is that her sons may never find a girl who will love and cater to them like she does. I’m more worried that Robyn hasn’t taken her kids to the dentist in over 2 years. Yikes!

Monique is mentally preparing to meet with her outlaws/in-laws. She is driving the vehicle to Alabama. Her husband says everything will be fine because his mom is an angel, natch. He also reminds Monique that when she married him, she in essence married his family. She bluntly tells him, “no when I married you, I will always place you before everyone, including the children.” Say what? Chris still hopes that Monique and his mom can work on having mutual respect.

The ladies are meeting up at Preakness Stake and Ashley is giving me life in her cute red pantsuit. Robyn and Ashley discuss marriage and all its problems. Ashley is interested in Robyn’s arrangement with Juan — also because she is having a bit of marital discord. Robyn feels embarrassed that everyone knows she is Juan’s doormat.  She, however, feels folks need to mind their business. Well, Robyn, stop talking about it and maybe they will stop asking you. Gizelle and Karen are next to appear.  Ashley complains that her sex life is suffering because her restaurant OZ is suffering. Gizelle says they should all put the restaurant on their social media pages to drum up business.

Gizelle then asks what the ladies thought about Monique and all her bragging about her homes. Karen says Monique wasn’t bragging — I didn’t think so either. Ashley says that Gizelle wants Monique’s life because she is young, rich and married. Maybe, but I doubt she wants that Monster-in-Law. Charrisse finally makes an appearance and the ladies are introduced to a man named Don, who lets them know just how rich he is. He tells them that he has won over $6 million at these races. He also places bets for them using his money. Somehow Don’s bragging doesn’t offend Gizelle. In fact, she sticks to him like glue for the rest of the event. Newsflash, their horse wins, but I don’t think Gizelle shared the proceeds with the other ladies. I also think Gizelle found a new sugar daddy friend. We shall see.

Across town, Ashley and her husband Michael are going indoor skydiving. This is a breeze for them because they have already jumped out of an airplane, climbed Kilimanjaro, and climbed the Austrian bridge. After the fun event, they have a heart-to-heart. Michael apologizes for being too business-like and firm with Ashley regarding the money she spends, and Ashley apologizes about not knowing much about running a business and accounting. They promise to work on getting their happy back. I am rooting for these two — and that damn restaurant.

Monique and company arrive in Alabama — so proud that hubby is getting inducted into the Sports Hall of Fame. Chris’ mom is equally as proud and makes sure the host is aware that she gave birth to this magnificent creature. Monique says it’s not all about Mama Samuel. After the Hall of Fame event, Monique and her in-laws go to a pub for lunch. Right away Mama Samuels announces that she doesn’t have any money. Cue the blessed offspring Chris to announce that he is paying for everything. Awww.  When the waiter asks, who needs a drink, Monique shouts “Yass!” Later, to break the ice, Monique speaks about the joys and not-so-joyful trials of marriage. She loves her hunk of burning love — they have a lot of sex and money because GOD IS GOOD. But sometimes they get on each others’ nerves. They have sought outside counsel from pastors and from Chris’ Godfather. 

Needless to say — Mama Samuel is peeved that they never came to her for advice. She also engages in snarking about how she would never speak publicly in a negative way about her saint of a husband. As a woman of God, she never ever cursed, argued or complained about her marriage. After all, she’s perfect. Then she proceeds to compete with Monique about child birth. Who had the biggest baby, and who had the least amount of pain while pushing out ten pounders. Monique tries to change the subject and mentions that they are in the process of purchasing another house. Chris says it will be large enough for all the family to visit (of course so no guilt). Mama Samuel says Monique needs to get a job.  Monique says, ‘no ‘ma’am,’ wifey doesn’t punch clocks.

Mama Samuel is whispering that they should break her off some of that cash they have to splurge on houses. Subtle, right? Monique continues to speak about the hardships of marriage, and says despite the fact that she and Chris are loaded, they didn’t have good examples of marriage growing up. Unintentional shots fired. Mama Samuel pipes up and basically gave Monique, and the entire table, a sermon on how great her marriage is. On that note —“check please,” Chris is ready to go. As they leave the restaurant — Mama Samuels (who apparently isn’t aware her mike is still on) says, “didn’t I get that heifa straight!”#Prayers4Monique

Next week, Charrisse is throwing her daughter a huge Sweet 16 part — and Eddie is coming. Kevin is cooking for Gizelle and her mama. Charrisse is crying on the couch about the demise of her marriage and Monique and Gizelle get into — again!

 

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