Drama, drama, drama! That’s what they’re serving on tonight’s episode of Little Women: LA. We begin with Terra and Briana as they meet for lunch to go over #agentpoaching-gate. Terra’s new do and eye lashes look like she’s about to go on DWTS. Briana looks a little tired, but certainly more natural. Briana again denies that she asked for representation from Terra’s agent and says it was merely lite chit-chat and it’s totally different than what Christi did to her. Christi actually started working with Briana’s publicist. Mmm-hmm. I see the difference.
Okay, so the LA Women’s March is coming up and Terra is going to be performing at it and she’ll be completely surrounded by “professional contacts.” Terra tells Briana she’s unsure if she wants to invite her but will if Briana promises to be there for the right reasons. Briana says she will handle her own shit – so I guess that’s a yes?
Next up, Jasmine and Tonya are out having dinner. Jasmine is planning a Tequila tasting party and is inviting Christy – even though she’s been iced out, still struggling after surgery, and is a recovering alcoholic. The gossip moves onto Briana and her messed-up marriage. Jasmine can’t understand why Briana gives Matt so many chances. Jasmine feels unable to help Briana because she doesn’t have a degree in psychiatry.
Over at Matt and Briana’s place, she is regaling a story to Matt about managing her anxiety and her modeling career. Matt is bored and more interested in the new puppy. Until Briana mentions being approached by a photographer for Maxim magazine. An evil grin spreads across Matt’s face. Is she going to get nakee-nakee, he asks. He’s totally on board for Briana “putting her assets out there.” Ya think? Briana says she is very modest about her great physique. The conversation shifts to the Women’s March and how Terra told Briana she needed to go for the right reasons. Well, now Briana is telling Matt that Terra isn’t going for the right reasons because she’s dancing there. I’m sorry, but isn’t the right reason about women supporting women?
Terra is at home and tries to call Elena but there’s no answer so she asks Joe to call Preston. Joe reluctantly agrees. Preston says Elena’s father has passed away. Joe and Terra are stunned. Terra offers to come over and take care of the twins because Joe is always there for her kids and she has no problem leaving the house without everyone.
Finally we catch up with Christy and Todd. Her voice sounds better so maybe Christy needed a break from filming. They are visiting a bariatric specialist about Todd’s weight so Christy doesn’t divorce his ass. And my, what a big ass it is – 322 lbs. Todd is told he is not a candidate for the balloon surgery because he’s too obese. The doc recommends the gastric sleeve. This will require anesthesia and this worries Todd. Christy tells Todd to hurry up and make a decision. Feel the love, people.
Terra and Elena catch up over Skype. The death of her father was sudden and unexpected. A sweet flashback is shown of Elena and her dad dancing at her vow renewal ceremony. Even though he said it might be the last time they see each other, Elena can’t believe she’ll never see her father again. Her pain is real and raw, and for anyone who’s lost a loved one, we know she wishes for one more day with him. Elena says they will bury him in what he wore in Hawaii, and though this upsets her because he didn’t have a lot of clothes, it’s perfect.
Next, Terra and Tonya go over to hang out with Preston, Cairo and Xavier. Preston wasn’t able to get a visa fast enough to join Elena in Russia, so he must endure Terra, who’s on a fact-finding mission and ain’t holding no baby. She asks for Preston’s deep thoughts on the results of the genetic testing of the twins. Cairo is little and Xavier is average and Preston is cool with it.
Briana is visiting her therapist, Dr. Erin, at last. Briana gets all choked up as she says her friends think she has post-partum, but to her she’s just out of balance. Briana cries because she regrets tying her tubes. Dr. Erin says it sounds like Briana doesn’t have a lot of support. Briana mentions her friends haven’t been there for her. HEY BRIANA WHAT ABOUT YOUR FAMILY? And WHAT ABOUT YOUR BABY-DADDY? Don’t bother talking about stuff that actually matters. Instead, Briana and Dr. Erin come to the conclusion that Briana needs to put Briana first. Seriously?
A marching we will go! Los Angeles has a huge turnout. Over 750,000 people attended this event. But Briana isn’t one of them. She sends a text to both Tonya and Terra from her high horse saying she won’t attend because of Terra’s publicity stunt. Terra and Tonya march and hold up signs, even though they can’t see and people can’t see them. Terra and her dance partner Sasha take the stage and shake their groove thing. And the crowd goes wild. Tonya plans to tell those heifers what they missed. But who can she call out? Jasmine just had a baby. Elena’s in Russia. Christy wasn’t invited. Briana was the only one and Terra alienated her.
It’s tequila tasting time. Drinking game alert! Take a shot when you hear the word, bitch. Jasmine and Terra are at the bar. Terra talks about her model friend turned fashion designer from London who is also little, will be joining them. Mary’s a hip black girl with a cool English accent who turns her nose up at Tequila – until she tries it and likes it. Mary’s having a fashion show back in the UK and is looking for littles to walk in it. Briana is the first to say, pick me. No shock there. Terra advises Tonya to combine powers and put their clothes together. Tonya asks Mary how long she’s been “modeling” and Mary gets bent over the inference that she’s not a real model because Tonya is using air quotes.
If only things could get more awkward. And they do! In walks Christy. With her squeaky, whispery voice, Christy tells her artery nick story. Terra suggests they play, I Never, which is really called, Never Have I Ever, which is a very bad idea, but, oh well, here we go. Mary has never I made out with a little man. Jasmine says she’s never been with two guys at once. Duh. Everyone drinks but Briana. Shocker! Tonya has never had butt sex. Terra, Jasmine and Christy drink. Terra says she’s never spoken to a friend’s representation without them knowing ahead of time. Sigh. Just when we were starting to have fun. The two women argue. Terra gives the ultimate put-down to Briana by taking Christy’s side. How’s that for a flip-flop!
Tune in next time when Christy is welcomed back into the group and Briana has a boudoir shoot.