When we last saw the ladies of the Real Housewives of Potomac, Gizelle was getting cussed out in the back alley by
classy Charrisse about spreading her business all over Potomac. Now that the dust has settled, the ladies have returned to doing what they do best:old friend of Gizelle’s from back in the day. They are having fun face-timing and flirting. Meanwhile, Karen cannot catch her daughter on her phone. She keeps getting the voice messaging system. Raven really knows how to work that “ignore” button.#GetAHobbyMom
Back in the land of Oz, Ashley is working and drinking behind the bar at her restaurant.If you cannot serve customers, serve yourself.Charrisse and Robyn decide to patronize the place because you can get a table, or five, withoutreservations.#PrayersForOz.I really hope business picks up for them. Anyway, Ashley tries to butter them up with the yummy menu of camel and kangaroo and suddenly, the ladies announce they are vegans.They also discuss the return of Katie Rost (damn!).Katie is finally throwing that Casino Royale party. You remember the one that she tried to get everyone involved in either sponsoring the event or at least letting her borrow their rich friends.Charrisse is excited to go, and at least get her drink on because she recently received a notice of intent to sue regarding her marriage from her husband. I guess in the Potomac, they fire the warning shot first before they hit you with divorce papers. Never fear, Charrisse isn’t worried and is glad that her soon-to-be ex husband Eddie finally pulled the trigger so the real Sha Sha can come out.
Everyone is getting dressed to the nine’s for Casino Royale: Karen looks divine, Ashley has a beautiful, yet really teeny tiny dress, and Robyn is trying to dress her husband off the rack at Men’s Warehouse #BudgetCuts.Charrisse waltzes into the event first and is taken aback at the table dealersbecause they look more like Wal-Mart greeters.The room is small and looks like a basement party with nary a decoration in sight. Charrisse face lights up because – booze, hello!Robyn comes alone and tells Katie her husband couldn’t fit his tuxedo Katie is bummed and actually tells Robyn she was thinking of auctioning off her husband, Juan, for charity. Say what now?This is why you are no longer welcomed on the show, Katie.
We now get to meet Monique, wife of retired Washington Redskins tackle Chris Samuels.She is fun, feisty and from Jersey so this will be a hilarious addition with these women who only curse in alleys. Gizelle shows up in a fierce lace pantsuit, which is appropriate because I would not waste a formal gown to play cards in the basement either. The entertainment performs and it is beyond horrible. I feel for Katie but then again — not really. This is what we waited for? #Yawn
It is the day of Gizelle’s date. She looks great and her date looks greasy. I’m not sure if he was nervous or if it was the humidity but brother needed a swipe of powder across the brow. He is handsome and was nice enough to not come empty handed. He actually had a ton of gifts. It looks like he bought her shoes and jewelry. Score one for Kevin. He starts off by asking about Gizelle’s mom (another point scored), and he tells Gizelle he is not rushing into the sack with her. He will wait for a connection. Gizelle says she isn’t rushing either, but on which date will they get to do it? Not that she is a heaux or anything like Charrisse tried to put out into the universe. M’kay. Kevin then pretends to order a Pill Cosby #ShadyButFunnyAsHell.
Karen and Robyn decided to have their own version of Casino Royale, in Karen’s basement. She invited Robyn over to shoot a light game of pool. The ladies wore red. When I saw Robyn at the door and sneaky Bravo gave us a good look at her backside, I realized I might have to revoke Robyn’s black girl card because she has a case of NoAssAtAll. Sad. I pray she gets a man stat to plump up those cakes and put a song in her heart again. Moving on.Karen wants a sit down to bring Gizelle and Charrisse together again.They are not hood rats, dammit. Robyn can sympathize with Charrisse because she feels Gizelle was horrible.If Gizelle ever spilled her business like that, she would have shown up at her house ready to throw down. Karen felt both women were wrong and was surprised that Robyn would throw her BFF Gizelle under the bus like that. So was I. Hmmm. Karen decides to invite all the ladies to high tea to see if they can sip without cursing each other out and forgive, but they don’t have to forget.
Ashley is finally out of the restaurant — at home with Michael making dirty smoothies — because she keeps inserting sexual innuendos while doing so.She must really need that itch scratched.Michael teases Ashley that she didn’t remember their wedding anniversary. Ashley jokes that perhaps they can talk about making a baby. Michael then reminds Ashley that the Accountant has been snitching on her and she really needs to stop spending money on non business items when they are not turning a profit. It is bad for business. Ashley feels judged. Michael tells Ashley until Oz starts producing magical numbers she will not get any baby batter from him. No ma’am.Ashley doesn’t feel supported by Michael — well at least not sexually.
Monique feels a great way to introduce herself into the group is to take Robyn and Charrisse and her assistant to work out – a barre class, which is a ramped up form of Pilates.Charrisse wishes she stayed home and had a V8 with vodka because this class is a killer. At the end of the class they hydrate with good old alcohol, because why not, right?Robyn is surprise that Monique would waste so much money paying an assistant to join her to workout with them, while secretly trying to figure out a way to get her fired and take her job because she needs to money badly.It also doesn’t help that Monique keeps bragging about all her homes, and how she has gold coins trees growing in her four backyards. Instead of throwing Monique some subtle shade, Robyn decides to throw her to the wolves and invite her to high tea.
Karen picks the illustrious Willard Intercontinental because it is right across the street from The White House and they are the First Ladies of Potomac, ya know. Charrisse cracks in her talking head that Gizelle is not a first lady, she is more like a Monica. Ouch! When Monique joins the ladies, Karen is none too pleased that Robyn invited a stranger to their
Godfather sit down tea party.Gizelle immediately tries to drill Monique to shake her. However, Monique hits right back — and let’s her know that she feels right at home in a big airy room because she has FOUR of them! It’s so hard trying to raise two small children in an itty bitty 9,000+ square footage home. What’s a wifey to do? Then she busts a rhyme and Karen nearly chokes on her tea #ClutchThePearlsMoment.
Charrisse skips the tea and decides she will just keep drinking the champagne. Finally Karen brings up #FiremanGate and right away Gizelle offers Charrisse an apology #Gasp. Charrisse is still in her feelings but she says she believes the apology is sincere so she will not commence to whipping Gizelle’s behind this time. They sort of make up.Karen feels there isn’t enough drama so in the spirit of tea spilling she throws Robyn under the bus about gossiping behind her friend, Gizelle’s back.Robyn starts cursing and flailing her arms at Karen and yelling “how you gone start some shit up in here.” Classy!Gizelle remains poised and says she will speak to Robyn in private. Gizelle puts the kibosh on that conversation and Robyn looks relieved. Monique gets her Iyanla Vanzant speech on and tells the women that they are better than this and should let this petty ish go. They toast to being transparent, to friendship and to fun. But we all know this will not last.
Next week, the ladies go to the races, Gizelle confronts Robyn about her behind the back shadiness and Ashley tells Michael that they are disconnected.Monique gets into it with her in-laws also when they try to suggest she gets a job. Wifey don’t play that.