Return of the MAC — as in The Real Housewives of Potomac! So happy everyone is back, except Katie “Don’t Call Me Black/I am White/I am Jewish/I’m Not Desperate/I Need To Be Married Yesterday/I am GONE” Rost! #GoodRiddance. Let’s get into it!
Gizelle may not be Beyoncé, but she has a beehive; Karen shops without a budget; Ashley and Mike’s restaurant Oz isn’t missing a wizard, but it is missing customers; Charrisse a/k/a Sha Sha is morphing into her daughter and still rapping (badly); and Robyn is still living with her ex-husband.
First we see, Gizelle getting her butter whipped (her hair washed, conditioned and a fall added (which is a half wig). What I cannot understand is that she has a ton of long beautiful hair so why the add on? Then I saw her hair stylist raking through her real wet hair with a small toothed comb (the horror!) No No and NO! That will thin out your hair tremendously. #ShameOnHim. In the end, her hair was laid. Gizelle is on the hunt for a man. He can be small in stature but he must carry a big package. Yup.
Charisse says she is a new woman. She races with her kids in the street and cooks on a hoverboard. Alrighty then. She says her husband was FIRED from his head coaching job but has decided NOT to return home. Hmm I wonder why? Maybe because you have a habit of outing folks –his getting fired-Gizelle being a whore (allegedly), etc. A girl cannot help what just falls out of her mouth. Which is why Gizelle couldn’t help dropping that major BOMB on Watch What Happens Live about Charrisse sliding up and down a certain fireman’s pole while still married. The Shade of it all. #CharrisseHasAStoryLineY’all
Ashley and Mike are trying to make their restaurant, Oz, a success. However, they keep losing cooks, general managers, and there is drinking on the job. Psst- call Lisa Vanderpump ASAP! To get her mind off things, Ashley joined a Hill Harper sponsored event called Manifesting Your Destiny, which is a version of Dancing with the Stars. Ashley realizes she doesn’t have as much rhythm as she thought. It also doesn’t help that Gizelle, last year’s losing contestant, is now a judge. Good luck Gurl.
The very pretty Robyn is still living and lusting with her ex-husband. She is also begging for attention from all the men in her house. In fact, when her ex-husband returns from work, she tries to make small talk but he blows her off because he is watching the game a/k/a playing Xbox folks. #HowRude #RunRobyn #GoOutAndPurchaseSomeSelf-EsteemSTAT.
Karen and Ray (the Black Bill Gates as she calls him) are house hunting. Ray responsibly says they are downsizing because the kids are gone, so what’s the point of wasting money on such a big mansion? No-budget having Karen calls it “re-sizing” She is driving her realtors crazy with her demands and criticisms. One realtor calls her spoiled to her face. Like the diva that she is, Karen acts as if he’s invisible. She is determined to find a big house within the zip code of 20854.
Next, Charrisse and her new BFF — her daughter’s ex gymnastic coach Shelton, who was trying too hard to be interesting. They sat gos-SIPPING on champs and making much ado about nothing. #BoyBye #DwightEubanksYouAreNot #HowDreadful
Gizelle visits her friend Robyn in her new smaller townhouse which is 45 minutes away from the action. She is nice and gracious (surprise!). She just wants Robyn to be happy and in love. Meanwhile, Robyn is questioning her friendship secrets with Gizelle because Gizelle is spilling tea all over the neighborhood about Charrisse’s extracurricular activities like the Mad Hatter due to their beef. She mentions this to Gizelle. Gizelle says two wrongs do not make a right. Charisse should not have called her a whore. Shots fired so let the bloodbath begin. #WatchYaNeckCharrisse Meanwhile, Robyn is on Snitch Alert.
The big day has arrived for Ashley’s debut at Manifest Your Destiny. She looks hot hot hot! Great costume and great body. #IMissMy20s. All the ladies turn out for the event to support Ashley, and to see that fine Hill Harper. Gizelle informs the ladies about the new storyline fight she is having with Charrisse. Karen hopes they can work it out because this is “a hot ass mess.” Gizelle couldn’t care less about her friend of seven years or her “stank face.”
Ashley does a great job with her partner and they win the competition. Everyone is thrilled and they go backstage to congratulate her. At this time, Charrisse tells Gizelle she wants to see her outside to have “the talk.” Gizelle tries to ignore her but then decides “let do this.” They go outback and let’s just say Charrisse drops more “F” bombs than Samuel L. Jackson in one of his movies. #ShaShaHasAPottyMouth Gizelle looks bored. Charrisse then tells her “don’t let the zip code fool ya”! Gizelle asks her what does THAT mean. Then, in her talking head, Gizelle says “Bitch Please!” Charrisse walks away calling Gizelle crazy and Gizelle walks away saying “Bye Bitch.”
Next week we get to meet Katie’s replacement — Monique (who also raps); Katie returns for her Casino Royale event and Karen tries to get Gizelle and Charrise to make amends. #EpicFail
So, did you all enjoy the premier? Thoughts? This season is going to be better than the election.