When we last left Little Women LA, Terra was returning home from being cut from Dancing With the Stars. She calls out Joe’s name as she enters the home, but he doesn’t answer, all dramatic like he’s gone. Nope. He’s there. Joe says, Congrats, you made it to 5th place but so glad it’s over. They argue about how long it’s been since they’ve been friends with benefits, but with a two hernia operation looming, get used to no sex for a little while longer.
Next we join Christy in the hospital after surgery with her mom and Todd. For just having surgery, Christy looks great. And her voice doesn’t sound as strained during her testimonials. But things didn’t go according to plan during surgery. Todd tells Christy, the surgery was five hours instead of two, they nicked her artery, and one of the doctor’s had to hold the artery from pumping blood until the specialist arrived. Christy’s eight week recovery has increased. The question us, who’s going to take care of her.
Onto the sex shop so Elena can get her groove back. And since Briana isn’t feeling it for Matt right now, she tries on a fishnet body suit thinking that will help. Elena and Briana talk about their saggy boobs, and Briana drops a bombshell. She wants to have another baby and wishes she didn’t get her tube tied. Can you believe it?! Her last pregnancy was very high risk and she could have died but the point is, Briana may hold off on that boob job. The conversation moves to Terra and how she’s been a sucky friend to Elena. Briana defends Terra by saying she had a lot on her plate, but now the shows over. Deal with it Elena.
Across town, Terra and Tonya are furniture shopping. Tonya is still wearing her eye patch, but her face droopiness is better. Speaking of bad health, Terra actually has three hernias instead of two and has ripped her entire stomach lining down the center. Tonya warns that if Terra doesn’t start taking better care of herself she’s jumping on the Elena-train.
Jasmine’s mom is with her at home to help sort the clothes. They have a heart to heart as Jasmine describes the non-stop bad mood she’s been in. She hopes things go back to normal once the second baby arrives. Her mom tells her the second baby will be easier, because having two kids is easier than one? Good thing Chris hasn’t been working on the railroad all the live-long day. He’ll be around with his mother-in-law to help when the newborn arrives. Fun!
Onto the “wacky white people shit” workout according to Tonya. Right away, Briana nearly busts her head open while on the suspended bungee cords. Can I just say I felt so bad for laughing during this scene? Not graceful in the best of circumstances, but when you’re a little, damn near impossible. Tonya can’t wait to ditch class to throw shade on Terra for having three hernias. This revs up Elena. The five hour surgery will require six to eight weeks of recovery. Briana is like, I am so glad I didn’t go on DWTS like they wanted me to because I was supposed to be on the show first and I am not a “fame whore.” Excuse me while I laugh some more, but this time I don’t feel bad. Tonya recommends that everyone take turns taking care or Terra. Elena is like, Bitch please. And will only go visit Terra to say I told you so.
It’s surgery time for Terra. The DWTS finale show is over and it’s time to cut her open. Terra tells Joe they need to be like perfect dance partners and help each through this time. Joe says it’s for better or worse, even though it’s mostly worse right now. Terra asks Joe to take it seriously, but Joe says it doesn’t matter what he says, Terra’s just going to do whatever Terra wants. Does he know his wife or what?
To make up for being a hormonal bitch, Jasmine takes Chris out for a day of model car racing. She apologizes for being a jerk and he says everything’s cool. He’s having fun. Jasmine asks if her mom can stay with them for two weeks to help out – like she’s almost afraid to ask the question. Here’s how it should go down, Jasmine. “Hey Chris, my mom is moving in for two weeks so you won’t have to get up in the middle of the night.” And scene.
During a picnic with Elena, Preston and the twins, she tells him about Terra and her three hernias – like we haven’t heard this three times already. Elena tells Preston she doesn’t want to visit Terra because she deserves everything bad that’s happening to her. Preston’s life flashes before his eyes because he knows Elena’s coldness could be directed at him. He tries to persuade Elena to give Terra another chance. Elena explains their friendship is over even and cries because Terra has changed. Hello, Elena! It’s called hormones and you have them.
Terra is home from hernia surgery and her pain is a level 8. Penny’s hair is a wild child and Joe makes a joke about her sticking her finger in a light socket. This makes Terra laugh, which hurts. So Joe cracks another joke, but this makes Terra cry. Joe is on his own with the babies again.
Briana and Matt are getting some retail therapy – even though the need the real kind. At the baby store and she gets choked up telling Matt she wants another baby. Matt is stunned, but unfortunately not into silence. He says that she nearly died last time. Briana says this is where she is right now and she needs to express it for a story line so she doesn’t have a panic attack. Matt tells Briana not to cry because this makes him uncomfortable and he’ll leave so she can cry in the store by herself. Oh, please, Briana. Have another baby with this man!
After the commercial, Matt continues to tell Briana she’s not making any sense, and outside a gas-light is flickering. This triggers a hot-flash and Briana is starting to believe she needs help. Of course she is. It’s part of Matt’s master plan. Drive his wife crazy. Matt tells Briana all he wants is for her to feel better. Mmm-hmm.
Briana and Tonya stop by to visit Terra. She shows them her five band aids and they aren’t as grossed out as they thought they’d be. Terra asks where Elena is and Tonya tells her Elena is no longer on Team Terra and no longer wants Terra and Joe to be the godparents to her twin boys. Thanks Tonya for the double-punch into Terra’s gut. Buh-bye. Terra is sick of the perpetual guilt-trip.
Christy is at home from the hospital and her daughter Autumn has been renamed Cinderella. Do any of the women visit her? No. They should be ashamed. Christy is in pain, has caught a cold, and Todd is upstairs eating and playing video games. They discuss what a fat slob Todd is and his broken his promise to lose weight. Christy has given Todd an ultimatum, and those always work out well, don’t they. Autumn questions the point of having a husband if you have to say, “What have you done for me lately?” Christy worries about drinking again because her heart and head are telling her two different things. For some reason Autumn wants her mother to kick Todd out now, like Christy doesn’t have enough on her plate.