We begin this week’s Little Women LA at the gym with Briana and Matt as they try to navigate the stair master and Briana nearly hurts herself. Briana then tells Matt it’s time for her to pursue her passion which is singing. She wants to tune her instrument and focus on her career. Matt also has an instrument that needs tuning and it’s not what you think. He wants to train for mixed martial arts. To which I say, Yes, Yes, Yes! Please let Matt get his ass whipped this season. Briana asks Matt if he’s having a mid-life crisis, and he says no, but this is something he needs to do. Briana is like, I’m sorry your life isn’t enough. And Matt’s like, I need an outlet or I’ll start sexting again.
Next we are with Christy and Todd at her doctor’s office. Christy needs to go under the knife on her neck again – one the most intricate areas – to correct a different surgery. There could be complications and side effects. She will have most definitely have a sore throat after the surgery and there’s a slight risk for a neurological injury or paralysis. The doctor tells Christy she will be the first little person to ever receive an artificial disk replacement.
Over at the dance studio, Terra and Sasha are in fifth place on Dancing With the Stars, and they are struggling through rehearsal. Tonya stops by and looks like a crazy pirate just returned from sea. She wants to know what went down with Elena. Terra explains that Elena told her she needs to quit the show because it’s making her stupid, and it’s not like she’s going to win anyway. Tonya says her health should come first and Terra flashes her stomach to show the bulging hernias. At first Tonya said DWTS wouldn’t come between she and Terra, but now it just might. Tonya agrees with Elena and tells Terra working moms don’t have a “real good bond with their kids.” Oh no she did’ent! Working mom’s everywhere are hating on Tonya for that comment. Terra says if a doctor tells her to quit, she will. Until then everyone can STFU.
Jasmine and Briana are meeting up for dinner and man-bash. For Jasmine, she says it’s her “hormones” making her mean to her husband. Briana says she’s all over the place and it’s getting worse. And she doesn’t want Matt to do MMA when it’s supposed to be all about her. Jasmine recommends that Briana get some good drugs from her doctor and then it will all go away.
Have you heard of cryotherapy? Supposedly it’s a freeze-your-ass-off cure all. Tonya and Elena are giving it a try and are placed in a shower with frozen fog for 30 seconds. Afterwards, Tonya says her nipples can cut glass. Elena and Tonya discuss Terra and her selfish ways. Elena readily admits wanting Terra to get voted off DWTS. Meow. Elena says if Terra wants to talk to her she can do it at the comedy club she’s inviting everyone to – because she’s not high maintenance at all.
Back at the rehearsal studio, Terra has invited the girls to come by to talk. Elena is a no-show. Turns out, Tonya, Jasmine, and Elena have all been invited to DWTS to watch Terra dance except for Briana. Terra apologizes for being a shit friend to everyone and Briana interrupts to ask why she was never invited to watch the show. Terra says it was because she found out from the producers that Briana was never actually asked to be a contestant on DWTS. Briana says that’s not true. Terra is exhausted but eats more crow and invites Briana to the semi-finals.
Over at Jasmine’s place, she and her husband Chris are driving each other crazy now that he’s been laid off the railroad and she’s on maternity leave and they are around each other and the damn time. Chris prays every day that the railroad will call him back to work. Through tears, Jasmine plays the health card and says what if she dies during the C-section. Chris gives her the obligatory, “Everything’s going to be fine” hug and kiss.
Twenty minutes into Matt’s MMA training and he thinks he’s going to have a heart attack. Briana is there to laugh at watch her husband do cartwheels and skip around. The trainer thinks in one month Matt will be ready for his first ass-whipping. They watch two men (much younger than Matt) roll around on the floor. Briana is now even more against this and Matt is now even more for it. Matt concedes he doesn’t want to break his face since it’s the only thing he’s got going for him, but wants to give MMA a try.
Christy is packing for the hospital, discussing worst-case scenarios with Todd. During her testimonials, you can clearly tell it’s post-surgery by the way Christy is struggling with her vocals. It’s odd she’s not acknowledging it, but at least we know Christy survived.
Girl’s night out! What could wrong with this. Briana and Elena are together first and Briana shares being at DWTS. Elena says she is so jealous she couldn’t be there to see Terra get eliminated. Briana says she was there to cheer Terra on, but Elena calls BS on that. Tonya shows up and tells the girls that Jasmine won’t be coming because she’s about to pop and Terra won’t be there because she’s doing press in New York. And who else? Oh yeah, Christy, who by the way, had neck surgery that morning and the doctor botched it and a specialist had to step in and she almost died. Briana feels the need to explain she never said she wanted Christy dead, just that their friendship was dead. Nobody believes her.
Are you ready to laugh? Too bad. This comedy act was uncomfortable at best. Lila, the comedienne, has spina bifida and she’s making “midget” jokes, but she’s not a little person. She’s just short. This is not sitting well with Tonya or Briana. Afterwards the trio goes outside to discuss. Lila joins them and is so happy to see them. When asked about the word “midget” Lila says she’s taking ownership of the word so people can’t hurt her with it. Tonya tells her she’s not funny and Lila get all defensive. Briana explains her humor tells people it’s okay to use the word midget.
Lila chokes back the tears and says this is the first time anyone has complained that her jokes were offensive (which I find hard to believe) but there you have it. What Lila is trying to say is, she was hoping the little community would support her. What Briana is trying to say is, consider not being so self-deprecating during her comedy act.
Terra is in New York, completing her press tour, exhausted and depleted, but finally on her way home. She calls Tonya and says she wishes she could have accomplished more and pours her heart out about how she fell in love with the thrill of competition. Terra says she has grown and is now more confidant. As she arrives home, Terra realizes she has a lot of work to do. She has to take care of her children. Get hernia surgery. Fix things with Elena. And find her husband who doesn’t appear to be home.
Tune in next week when Christy contemplates divorce because Todd is shirking his responsibilities after her surgery.