The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills begins in Kyle’s garage, where a pro is busy hiding Kyle’s packrat past from her husband. Mauricio wants Kyle to purge the crap, but Kyle can’t separate from the “memorabilia’ aka, the crap. We learn that Carnie Wilson is scheduled to offer a dessert tasting, setting a sweet stage for the next round of cast hysterics. Kyle phones Lisa with the invite, reminding us that no one will fib if everyone is staring at them at once — even Rinna. Lisa claims that she’s busy the minute she hears that a smackdown is on the horizon — but Kyle reminds her that if she is stomaching Eden, she can suck it up and come. Will the cast find peace — or pull off the truly unthinkable — eat a dessert?
We check in with Eileen and Vince, who are welcoming Erika into their home, for a soapy rehearsal. Erika outacts Vince — who flails to convince us that he actually cares about Erika’s daytime success. Rinna and Harry’s voice are next — in this week’s installment of Rinna Rings Harry. Rinna catches him up on the cast dirt, and Harry counsels her with a few classic snippets of neatly rehearsed advice. After much thought, Rinna has decided that Eden is more crazy than a liar, so she admits that she must have shoved Kim halfway into the hereafter. Rinna confesses that her feelings spout sludge from time to time — but Harry understands, because he knows that his wife would never hurt any junkie in need. Rinna admits that she needs to own it baby, and is ready to stick by whatever her truth turns out to be this week.
Lisa and Ken are checking out their new dog rescue center, and we hear all about Lisa’s plans for a doggy utopia. Lisa gives some details behind her goal to stop the Yulin dog meat festival, and a clip of a Congressional Hearing is shared — where we see Lisa defending the brutally abused animals. Ken knows that they’re both crazy-passionate, and becomes emotional at remembering the graphic images used to prove their point. Lisa makes her exit, before she falls apart.
Things brighten up when we skip over to Kyle, who is welcoming Carnie Wilson into her home. Carnie is there to hawk desserts, and Kyle is happy that the mini-cheesecakes can be broken into nuggets to be breathed on by the ladies. Carnie asks about Kim, and shares that she has been stone cold sober for 12 years. Carnie leads by example, showing true and generous concern. Meanwhile, Erika is picking up Rinna, who is coming armed with a baby gift — a blue peace bunny. Rinna hopes that Kim won’t slaughter the animal on sight, and crosses her fingers — hoping that the rabbit doesn’t get it. Kim and her sponsor arrive, and Kyle is glad that Kim has brought a sobriety advocate. Rinna continues to ramble en-route confessions — admitting to Erika that she actually puked up the shady comments all over Eden.
Meanwhile, Carnie and Kyle are walking down Celebrity Apprentice memory lane, their chatter interrupted by Eileen, who is apparently over her extended physical breakdown. Eileen’s recovered tummy flips over a helping of caviar, as Kyle tries to communicate her problem with her sloppy soap sister. Eileen admits that Kim has appeared sober to her, but tirelessly defends Rinna’s ricocheting stories. Dorit arrives, as Carnie and Kim share excitement over Kim’s grandchild’s impending debut. Lisa and Eden appear, and Kim shares a spot-on assessment about the skin-crawling rookie. Carnie and Kim continue to chat, and Eden is briefly frozen out — the worst possible diss. Rinna and Erika show, and Lisa snarks out a greeting, before she shades her baby gift. Rinna kindly gives Kim the present, and Kim politely accepts, before blasting her for being a phony bunny-giver. Erika offers a play-by-play from the doorway, as Rinna makes her awkward rounds. Camille makes an appearance, fading characteristically into the background. Eden is repelling Kim, a fellow addict’s comments still stinging the hardest. Rinna hashes out her blather with Eileen — as Bravo flashes us back to Kyle’s past moments of sisterly worry. Rinna comes clean to her friend, admitting that she blurted a few grim reaper references. Eileen is nervous, but continues to back her bestie. Eileen pleads Rinna’s case in a confessional spot — probably to an audience of one.
Carnie gives her dessert presentation, and the ladies nibble at the sweets. Kyle joins Rinna and Eileen, and Carnie unknowingly interrupts the most pivotal moment of the evening. Carnie drags the trio out to join the others, and Rinna immediately addresses the elephant in the room. Rinna comes clean, and admits to being a loose-lipped loser. Kyle is furious that Rinna lied through her teeth in Mexico, and Kim doesn’t let her off the hook. Lisa offers her snarkiest Rinna impression, as Rinna snipes more side blame at Kim. Lisa shades Rinna’s explanation in Kim’s defense, before Dorit jumps in, nailing Rinna for deflecting blame. Rinna implies that Kim wasn’t sober at game night, which triggers Kyle to spin into a snappy fury. Kim and Kyle nail Eden to the wall — pointing out that a woman in recovery should know better. Rinna softly sings “all you need is love” — but Kyle cries foul, assuring her that hatred is fine, as long as she keeps her rogue lips zipped. Eden denies casting judgement, pointing out that her skin-crawling death grips are always a sign of good will. Eden squawks like a chicken for attention, and Kim slams her for her single white female act. Rinna defends Eden’s sad shtick, and Kyle blasts Rinna for implying that her sister is heartless. Rinna mentions Kim’s insinuation about Harry — and Kim apologizes. Kyle comes through big — defending her sis like a champ.
Carnie is simply fascinated by the reality spectacle, and offers a few sage words of wisdom, to close the episode. She reminds us all that some ladies are heatless bitches and some are loony drunks, and we all just need to accept each other’s imperfections. Rinna encourages them all to move on — but Lisa wonders if her walk will match her talk. Eileen wishes they would all just shut up, and give Kim some blessed peace. Carnie breaks the tension with humor, and saves the night with her sweet and genuine spirit.
A cast trip to Hong Kong begins to take shape next week. Don’t miss it!
Becca is a Senior Editor for All About The Tea. She’s a coastal girl who loves the outdoors, and writing about the sneaky and silly side of reality TV. Her bio is short, but her snark is endless. She loves writing for the sharpest posters in the world.