Lisa Vanderpump had Andy Cohen all to herself on Watch What Happens Live tonight.
Rocking a side part and major cleavage, Lisa denied that watching Lisa Rinna get in trouble with Kyle Richards caused her to have an orgasm.
“I want to clarify, at that point I was not having an orgasm. I was having multiple!”
When Andy asked about Rinna’s naked selfie the other day (which she subsequently deleted and then reposted) LVP said:
“That looks pretty good, I have to say. I mean, I can be a bitch sometimes, but I can’t about that…but it went up and down, up and down—faster than a whore’s drawers. C’mon.”
In response to her glee that Rinna got trapped by her own words, LVP said:
“One thing I’ve learned on reality television, you have to have the courage of your convictions. If you are going to say you’re going to put it out there, then own it, own it, own it.”
Tonight on RHOBH, Rinna accused LVP of not showing up for her award ceremony because the dinner wasn’t focused on Vanderpump. LVP wasn’t having it.
“I call BS on that because I do more for charity than anybody. But I will happen to say, that we’re actually having the Angel Food Project tonight at Pump…and Lisa Rinna’s hosting it. And guess what? She didn’t show up! She’s got a temperature. I’ll tell her in the morning that she was there, because she probably won’t remember anyway, right?”
The shade is real!
Ken sat in the front row of the clubhouse audience. Giggy and Harrison shared the seat next to him. I kid you not, thos dogs had glitter spritzed in their fur. (Oh, to be pampered by the Vanderpumps.) When Andy asked if it would come off, LVP wondered why they would want to remove it. Duh, Andy. It’s glitter!
When Rinna met up with Eden Sassoon in tonight’s episode, she took Eden to task for tattling to LVP, still maintaining that she didn’t remember saying such horrible things about Kim Richards. LVP scoffed.
“I mean, c’mon! How can you say someone’s near death and then not remember? That’s the kind of thing you’re going to remember. Look, I like some parts of Rinna, like, you know, her husband. But I just think with this situation, it kind of shines a light on her inaccurate recollection which was the catalyst of last year’s fiasco.”
LVP gave her opinion on the Vanderpump Rules crew. She doesn’t think Tom Schwartz and his fiancée, Katie Maloney, should be fighting this hard right before the wedding. She thinks Scheana and Mike Shay’s divorce is for the best. And she totally believes James Kennedy cheated with the hostess from SUR. As do we all, Lisa. As do we all. And she’s most certainly convinced Jax Taylor had sexual relations with a dude—mainly that guy from Miami.
“I don’t know how far, if there was actual penetration because I wasn’t there. Well, you know what penetration is better than anyone, Andy. Don’t look at me like that! But I know there was a little fraternizing going on. I think he said, ‘You smell really good.’ Sorry, Jax.”
Andy forced Lisa to play a game of “would you rather.” Surprisingly, she’d rather go Down Town Julie Brown on Brittany from VPR than apologize to Eileen Davidson one more time.
“And I’ve never done that before, but look, Ken’s clapping.”
A caller asked LVP why she allowed her grown son, Max, hang out with James Kennedy.
“Well I think my son knows his own mind. If anything, he’s been a bit of a mentor to James. When children get to a certain age, you can’t choose their friendships and you can’t choose their partners. I tried that. I’m a control freak, and it doesn’t work.”
Saying she felt vindicated that everyone was now seeing Rinna’s true colors, LVP said:
“Last year it was a conversation that happened months before and it was a difference of a couple of words…and she made such a big deal of it… And this time she can’t remember when she says somebody’s near death?”
Asked what she thought of the détente between Scheana Shay and Brandi Glanville, Lisa said she could never make up with Brandi.
“I’m in the middle of this smelly coochie lawsuit, which I really don’t want to be in the middle of, which is really uncomfortable. And I really think Joanna Krupa should have dropped it, I’ll put that out there… But no, I understand why Scheana wanted some kind of resolution and acceptance.”
But then she muttered:
“Maybe Brandi should sleep with Shay now that they’ve separated.”
On a sneak peek of RHOBH, Kim and Rinna finally have it out with all the ladies present. LVP stands by Kim, but Rinna has Carnie Wilson on her side.
Lisa gave her view on the friendship between Kyle and Rinna.
“What I don’t understand is that Kim is present at some of the reunions. And you’ve seen Lisa Rinna say, ‘I’m moving on. I’m not going to say anything, and I want the best for you.’ And then to say something like that and to say Kyle’s an enabler, that doesn’t sit well with me. I think Kyle’s more forgiving than she should be.”
LVP got snarky when she played a game of which Bravo celeb would she hire. Though she wasn’t asked about Theresa Giudice, LVP said she’d hire her because Theresa was used to being behind bar[s]. Ouch!
Harry Hamlin tweeted into the show and defended his wife. Apparently, Rinna has the flu and was under Dr. Sugarman’s care. That’s why she didn’t make it to the Angel Food Project dinner.
“I love Harry Hamlin!” LVP said. “But I do send Lisa my love. If she is feeling sick.”
Lisa also defended Dorit Kemsley’s accent, saying Dorit doesn’t sound British, and she f**king loves her.
“And you know how loyal I am. I am not going to hear a word said against her.”
So, do you think LVP did the right thing by not going to Rinna’s charity dinner? And why is Kyle willing to keep giving Rinna a pass?
I’m a fiction writer by day and a reality TV addict by night.