‘RHOBH’ Recap: Kyle Richards Says Lisa Rinna Needs to ‘Sew Her F–king Lips Shut’ Over Sister Kim!

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills begins with yet another plug for Mauricio’s real estate empire. The shameless promotion is a cast affair, because they are all headed down to Punta Mita Mexico, to celebrate Mauricio’s newest office. It’s all amaaaaazing, but Kyle always has trouble leaving her kids and her fabulous home life — even though she does it almost  every episode.

We jump to Lisa’s closet, where the queen is allowing trashy riffraff into her wardrobe. Eden begged for a ticket of admission, and Lisa is instinctively skeeved by the idea of speaking to the creepy newbie again. We see that Eden has launched into backpedal mode, and is primed and ready to throw Rinna under a bus. Speaking of Rinna, the bigmouth herself is joining Kyle in her store for shop and gossip sesh. Rinna tries to justify Eden’s loony comments, and they both agree that the new girl is beyond annoying. Rinna tries to defend Eden, but Eden is doing just the opposite, selling her rehearsed shtick hard to Lisa. Eden has thought it over, and has determined that Kim is as stone-cold sober as a judge.

Eden throws Rinna to the wolves, pulling her best doe-eyed innocent act, as she retells Rinna’s drama-starter during the staged shopping trip. Eden amps the tale, choking up just enough to ping Lisa’s sniper radar, triggering a parallel between Kim’s junkie-jabber and Yolanda’s Munch-blabber. Eden blinks and wonders why Rinna positioned her to be so utterly trapped, giving her no alternative but to butt her ugly tattoos into Kim’s biz. Eden can’t believe that Rinna dished so dirty then abandoned her to rant like a maniac in the high-drama spotlight. Somehow, all of Eden’s ignorant blather is forgiven, because Eden’s hustle appears to win Lisa over. But we all know that Lisa is smarter than that.

We join Dorit and PK, who are dining out with their adorable kiddos. Dorit reminds us that Jagger’s speech skills are lagging, but that the sweet boy is  progressing. The family scene is darling, and the children are delightful. Meanwhile, Rinna is filling us in on The Gigi 2.0, who is walking in her first big fashion show. Rinna’s life is full and exciting, zipping between her life as a wannabe proud mommy and a mouthy reality star. Rinna is hitting NYC to live vicariously through her daughter, before heading to Mexico.

The ladies are all set to jet to Punta Mita, and are gathering at the airport, to head south. Dorit is thrilled that PK is coming to protect her from the Bravo piranhas. The gang arrives in Mexico, as Dorit and Lisa joke about Lisa’s  hoard of the color pink. Erika doesn’t get the joke, and vows to wear pink extra hard during the trip. The gang arrives at their lodging — which is the home of one of Mauricio’s agents. Mauricio greets his guests, as the crew checks out the truly lovely house. Kyle and Erika bond over their spectacularly successful husbands, before we hop over to Delilah and Rinna, reenacting a scene from Yolanda and Gigi — The Early Years. Rinna blew her ass-kissing chance with Yolanda, and Delilah just hopes that Gigi has forgotten her bitchy mom, and will welcome her onto her turf. Delilah practices her runway strut, and Rinna offers some flunky modeling tips.

Next, we slow things waaaaay down, and join Eileen in a therapy session. She’s exploring her feelings, and is overjoyed to have permission to be sad. Moving on.

Back in Mexico, the girls are ready for some fun in the sun, and jet skiing is on the agenda. The ladies take off, while Lisa’s eyelashes stay behind. Kyle is playing it safe, and as she putters around, her passenger, Dorit, begins to doze off. Erika is going Jayne-badass, ripping around at full speed — that is, until the jet ski gets annoyed, and bucks her off.

Bravo shoots us to NYC, where Camille is meeting Rinna for a passionate,  hand-holding exchange. Their girls are both modeling their butts off, and the ladies bond over their girly pride. Camille shares that Kelsey still won’t speak to the mother of his kids, but Rinna quickly changes the subject back to her favorite topic — herself. She shares about the toils of dealing with reality hags, and her struggle with controlling her mouth. Camille does her best to throw her two cents into the mix, but the scene is forced, and appears phony.

Back in Mexico, Lisa and Kyle sneak away for a walk in the garden, to catch up on Eden’s latest messy maneuver. Lisa spills the tea served up by Eden — highlighting her sellout of Rinna. The blame is unanimously shifted to Rinna, and Kyle points out that these bitches are all hijacking her storyline. Kyle tells Lisa that she and Rinna spoke about Eden, and she’s annoyed that Rinna played innocent. Kyle wants Lisa’s lips sewn shut — as do we all.

Meanwhile, back at the house, the group shoots the breeze by bragging about their mad fishing skills. Kyle and Lisa return to join the party, just in time for Kyle and Erika to swap stories about their inept but loaded husbands. The dinner is served, and the group dishes about the Eden/Rinna dynamic, agreeing that Rinna should run for the hills. Dorit spills that Eden was a nasty piece towards Kim, but was likely influenced by Rinna. Dorit also shares about Rinna’s bag of pills — and the fact that Eden almost dove into it headfirst. Eden is vey honest about her pill-popping, so it’s determined that Rinna is the real culprit — at least that’s what Bravo is asking us all to believe.

It’s weird/dumb/lame that Rinna has jumped back onto that hamster wheel — but a girl’s gotta hustle a storyline. Kyle is distressed that her hubby’s infomercial is being interrupted, and isn’t sure how she is going to handle Rinna’s flapping lips drooling all over her commercial fiesta. She will soon find out — because as the show wraps, Rinna arrives — lips first.

Don’t miss part two of the vacation fun, and the inevitable showdown between Kyle and Rinna. Until next week!