Married to Medicine begins with Dr. Eugene and Toya meeting with their accountant, to discuss how to turn around the catastrophe that defines their finances. The accountant updates the couple on the IRS bust, explaining that the government needs to approve a reasonable budget and a payoff schedule. Toya objects, because she is accustomed to living large, and is worried about losing her bottle-poppin’ cred with her girlfriends. Eugene rolls his eyes, and lays out his drastic cutback game-plan. The CPA agrees with the eye-roll—counseling the couple to cut the bottle-poppin’. He pushes them to hit the cheap stuff, and get a grip on reality.
Meanwhile, Dr. Heavenly is dropping in on Dr. Simone, and she kicks off the visit by blaring out lewd comments about the daily medical grind. Bravo soon jumps us over to Mariah and Lisa, meeting up for coffee. Lisa begins to complain about Heavenly’s conference-tantrum, and Mariah agrees that their co-star is one messy love-guru. Mariah just wishes that Heavenly would eat a giant burger—because a chubby Heavenly is a happy Heavenly. Lisa admits that she did trademark the conference name, and Heavenly is calling foul, because Lisa’s name grab makes her one shady crook. Lisa disagrees, because it was her idea to invite ticket holders to grow with her, and her alone. Simone shares that she will remain loyal to ‘Heaven Help Us,’ while Mariah shades Simone as a blowin’ in the wind double-drifter.
The conference smackdown is underway, and Bravo begins the festivities by hopping us between the two venues. Heavenly’s space is taking shape, but there is a concern that the dueling events will be confusing to the public. Heavenly explains that she has hit the airwaves to get the news out. Heavenly desires to “pursue this line of career,” and build her brand. Relationships are her true passion—right after making bank. Meanwhile, Lisa’s space is also ready to go, but she’s worried about hauling in a crowd. Bravo pogos us between events, as Dr. Jackie shares her commitment to keeping Curtis far away from any gathering that even whispers the word ‘relationship.’ Jackie clarifies that she chose ‘Heaven Help Us’ because Lisa refused to drop her blouse for her breast cancer project. We get a look at the piddly turnout at Grow Central, and Lisa addresses the small crowd, as Mariah enters the space. Heavenly welcomes her larger turnout, as she hawks her app to the Bravo audience. Heavenly is a relationship pro, and thinks that she deserves mad respect. Bravo doesn’t help Lisa’s case, backing up her event with plucky music, and snippets of biting footage of her and Dr. Darren’s rocky marriage. Lisa’s conference hashes out the high price of infidelity, before things get dirty, over at Heavenly’s.
Dr. Jackie offers some graphic sexual advice to the attendees, and Heavenly gives herself kudos for scoring the closet sex freak. Cecil puts Heavenly on the spot, but she pulls off a snappy comeback, while advising her followers to create ambiance, and time for their men. Lisa breaks the group into girls and guys, while Mariah’s confessionals offer hilarious play-by-play commentary. Mariah believes that Heavenly stole Lisa’s conference-cred, and that Lisa is the true love pro. Lisa’s group discusses friendship and bitchy sisterhood, but Heavenly’s conference gets to the real dirt, discussing penis size and anal sex. Quad is loving it, and is thrilled that she made it through the back door, just in time. Dr. Jackie takes it to a new level, and after much gory debate, votes no to butt-sex. Dr. Darren commiserates with the men about his wife’s baby fever, and the men nod and shake their heads at their brazen, out-of-control partners.
Heavenly’s audience breaks, as she gushes over the stupendous success of the day. She vows to cut the messiness—right after she snarks about Lisa’s lackluster event. Heavenly blasts Lisa for mixing lies with truth, and Quad agrees that Lisa is one shady bitch. Mariah sympathizes with Lisa, because she knows that she’s on the brink of being shoved out of the group. Mariah learned the hard way, and knows that Lisa is navigating a dicey reality.
We next catch up with Jackie, who is modeling Heavenly’s advice, and creating ambiance for her hubby. Chef Chris shows up and sets the stage with a nice dinner, and Jackie is impressed with her faux culinary skills. Chris sneaks out, as Curtis enters the home. Curtis is thrilled, especially because Jackie wore a sentimental dress from their passionate past. Jackie reads him a love letter, and it’s very sweet. Curtis is hopeful, and the future of their marriage is looking brighter.
Next, a barbecue is going down at Toya and Eugene’s new home. The couple asks that we all bow our heads and take a moment of silence, to pray for a steam shower and a three car garage. May the Lord provide for their 4k sq ft. hovel, and may the IRS catch a glimpse Eugene rocking that MONEY/POWER/RESPECT t-shirt. Mariah continues to slay the snark, as the ladies trickle in. Toya dishes that Lisa called Heavenly the devil, but Lisa later denies the unthinkable jab.
Lisa arrives, and Heavenly pounces, ready to rip her to shreds, before Toya manages to yank her upstairs. Heavenly takes a moment to bask in motivational mentor pride, because Jackie slam-dunked her homework, despite her staunch stand against anal action. Lisa expresses her disappointment over the lack of sisterly support, but Simone points out that one lunch in three years won’t earn you an appearance. Lisa is gracious, but Heavenly swaggers out, ready to spit nails. Heavenly launches into her rinse and repeat argument, and continues to rant about the copyright snag. Lisa reminds us that collaboration doesn’t mean a business deal, but Heavenly isn’t buying it. Heavenly’s head is about to explode, before Bravo cuts.
The season finale is next week, wrapping up the head-popping drama. Don’t miss it!
Becca is a Senior Editor for All About The Tea. She’s a coastal girl who loves the outdoors, and writing about the sneaky and silly side of reality TV. Her bio is short, but her snark is endless. She loves writing for the sharpest posters in the world.