The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills begins with Kyle planning her annual party — but this year she is ditching the white dress and burgers, for Great Gatsby glam. Kyle checks in at party central, the bash being held at Mauricio’s luxury Malibu listing. Kyle scurries around before phoning a vacationing Lisa, hoping to lure her back for the party. Kyle believes that Lisa will come home for her — and we all know that it’s true. We jump over to the Hamlin’s, where Rinna and Harry are baking up a storm. Harry is whipping up blueberry pies, and they look delish. The couple is having a barbecue at their home, to show the cast how the real-deal is done — no fancy dresses or penis dances allowed.
The ladies begin to filter into the Hamlin’s pretty yard, and Eden starts off by drooling fake love all over her hostess. Rinna is special, because she made Eden a detested Bravoleb, so Eden gifts her with a bottle of hot air, to show her gratitude. Rinna is already plotting to get rid of it, as she greets Dorit, Kyle, and Camille. Erika appears, as the Hamlin girls strut out for an appearance. They are obsessed with the super-cool Erika Jayne — and Rinna should probably be concerned.
Bravo flashes us back to a convo between Dorit and Eden, where Eden was bashing Kim’s lack of junkie worship at Dorit’s party. Dorit classifies Eden as “too aggressive” and affected — leaving out the crazy demon from hell part. Dorit and Eden chat privately, and Dorit encourages her to cut the freaking gossip. Eden stands by her gossip, but Dorit has learned that full disclosure is best, preferably while wearing undies. Eden promises to “jump in,” giving us all something to dread.
Eileen arrives, and comments that she had a nice conversation with Kim at Dorit’s party. Eden objects, noting that Kim “wasn’t nice” at Dorit’s party, sharing her shock that Kim did not hang on her every word. Eden labels Kim’s disinterest a “red flag,” clearly not accustomed to the world not revolving around her. Kyle tells Eden that she’s a big buttinski, and Erika reiterates the dynamic slowly. Rinna is annoyed that Eden is stirring up trouble, but the family dog comes through, elevating the banter by pooping on cue. The action is a vast improvement to Eden’s blather, and quite a poetic edit. Eileen shuts down the gossip session, and Eden and Kyle end their exchange with one of Eden’s signature death-grips. Everyone sits down to eat, and Harry’s meat and pies are a smash.
We next get a glimpse of a dressed-down Dorit, who is meeting with a buff trainer in an attempt to get in shape. Her bod is weak, and so is her commitment to exercise, but she pants her way through the workout. She looks natural and cute.
Erika is preparing to audition for a spot on The Young and the Restless, and plans to lean on her old acting tricks. It’s Erika’s big chance to bust into the soap opera world, and she’s nervous as she arrives at CBS studios. Eileen gives us a snotty acting lesson, as Erika slays her script. Eileen is astounded by Erika’s natural ability, and plans to worship her on a whole new level. Erika is beside herself, and she and Eileen meld just a little more into the same blonde superfan.
It’s time to get ready for the big Gatsby Party, and Bravo shoots us around to the ladies, revealing their fun costumes. Dorit and PK join Kyle and Mauricio, and their crowd piles in to ride to the party. The ladies look snazzy, and the costumes are fab. Dorit spills that Eden is dishing dirt about Kyle, and Mauricio is immediately peeved. The ladies begin to arrive, and Eden looks like she just rose from the dead. Erika saunters in, declaring herself her own biggest fan. Kyle prays that Eden will lay off the nosy analysis for just one night. Kim arrives, which triggers Eden to kneel into her signature cling-on monologue about her sister. Kyle is appalled that Eden refuses to back off and find her own druggie storyline. Eden says that Kyle and Kim are like one scary flashback, and comments that she wants to create a safe space — whatever that means. Kyle clarifies that she does not enable Kim, and Eden responds via a psychobabble lecture, talking down to any fan who has not yet hit the mute button. Kyle tells Eden to back off her sister, and Kim schools Eden on recovery protocol. Kim thinks Eden is looking for trouble — but Eden believes that she was put in Bravo Land to swoop in and save Kim’s life.
Kyle and Kim point out that Eden’s choice of words, or just speaking in general, is out of line when she doesn’t even know Kim. Eden stares blankly in response, before throwing Rinna under the bus, blaming her for triggering her own loony yammer. Lisa and Ken make their grand entrance, a sweet return home for Kyle. Lisa snarks to Erika that her crown beats any plunging neckline, as she greets Dorit. Erika throws out a lewd remark at PK, paying him back for his crotch gazing.
Rinna and Eileen offer viewers a spastic Charleston, leading us into a nice conversation between Kim and Camille. Camille reminds Kim that she once hated Brandi too, but Kim can sense that Eden is on a whole other level of ick. The ladies all offer Kim their support, as Lisa and Eden take a moment alone. Eden begins to whine to Lisa about Kim, and Lisa immediately stands up for Kyle. Lisa leans on Eden hard, warning her to back off Kyle, unless she wants a big clunk on the head with a scepter.
Next week, a cast vacation to Mexico is on the schedule, and Eden drags Rinna down Kim’s supposed path of destruction.
Becca is a Senior Editor for All About The Tea. She’s a coastal girl who loves the outdoors, and writing about the sneaky and silly side of reality TV. Her bio is short, but her snark is endless. She loves writing for the sharpest posters in the world.